Becoming an Agent of Collective Healing

I decided to do something a little different for my blog this week. Usually I write a lot for you, but today I wanted to connect with you a little more more personally.

Is it possible for one human being to heal wounds they did not personally cause?  Could a German today apologize to a Jew for the holocaust, and create healing, even though it was decades ago and the actual perpetrators are dead?  Could a conscious man today apologize to women for burning witches?  Is this a form of healing or creating toxic shame? Watch this video and PLEASE POST YOUR THOUGHTS !!! …

You can read The Manifesto for Conscious Men on Facebook HERE.

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108 Responses to “Becoming an Agent of Collective Healing”

  1. Sharon Lippincott November 13, 2010 at 12:54 pm // Reply

    Blessings on your work Arjuna. I get it. My husband and I have begun watching ROOTS again. I REALLY get what you are saying. Now I’m waiting for another shoe to drop, to hear your thoughts on next steps after that apology and release of trauma. Do we know how to continue down the path together after the rifts that have kept us apart?


  2. Wouter November 13, 2010 at 1:34 pm // Reply

    I understand your viewpoint on collective healing and believe that it can work, especially in the wider context of clashes between indigenous groups, races or nations … in which the ‘individual’ is a more abstract entity … it reminds me of the Reconciliation movement in Australia towards the past horrors committed against the Aboriginals … which, after all, as I have understood, didn’t have the desired effects in the long run because the common Aussie couldn’t identify with it …

    Why not start for the ‘conscious’ men with the women they have been with in their own lives? … past one-night stands, lovers & partners … create with them this healing ritual you use in your workshops in actual meet-ings … in an eye to eye encounter? … it can be very powerful if both parties agree … and that’s more likely in this case …

    Isn’t it so that your present idea of collective healing might not get the recognition you are looking for under men? … Rapes, burning witches etc. are examples of horrors that are committed … but probably a number of men can’t identify with it directly … see the examples you mention yourself …

    Why not instead use as example the pain or hurt that they have caused in their own relationships with women? Something they can identify more easily with because that was part of their own responsibility …

    And is there any real difference in the experience of pain between these horrors and so-called minor ‘abuses’, quarrels & misunderstandings that happen in relationships? … the experience of pain is after all subjective … and in my experience that determines the amount of pain or hurt a person can feel …

    I see why you have created this manifesto and especially the bearing of it … the global appeal, recognition or sympathy you are looking for … and also the hidden motivation: to make men more aware of it … but why not make it as an idea more accessible, recognizable and identifiable for ‘conscious’ men … more in general? … And with effects that can be in the long run more meaningful… Every so-called ‘conscious man’ can sign this manifesto … but what is it’s worth if he doesn’t practice it in his daily life?


  3. Shakaya Leone November 13, 2010 at 1:38 pm // Reply

    Hello Arjuna,
    Your posts are so moving…I have shared.

    ‘Is it possible for one human being to heal wounds they did not personally cause? Could a German today apologize to a Jew for the holocaust, and create healing, even though it was decades ago and the actual perpetrators are dead? Could a conscious man today apologize to women for burning witches? Is this a form of healing or creating toxic shame?’

    This is a profound query…with my whole heart I say YES!
    This feels reminiscent of the Huna prayer of O’ponopono which is so powerful…I hold the space for this healing…
    For as long as I can rememeber, even as a young child- I have apologised within my heart as I grew up in a community of mixed ethnicities…and I was aware of how some of the kids felt and noticed how some kids were treated, etc.,

    Thank you for reframing these tragedies into a new light with the potential for an ocean of healing to occur.

    Blissings to you and to Chameli


  4. Carrie November 13, 2010 at 1:42 pm // Reply

    I was deeply moved. I absolutely believe that life is broader than just this lifetime and my own personal self. Please speak to ways to facilitate this process for others. Or, does this take place primarily through our own willingness to take responsibility?


  5. Gregory Anne Cox November 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm // Reply

    Pondering, I was deeply touched by your ideas Arjuna. Of course if we are all connected and connected from the moment consciousness first took physical form then it must be possible to heal collectively. It must be possible to take on the shadow side if we can drop in as you say to the whole of who we are. Doesn’t one murder, rape, or decimated river touch the whole of life with the pain? Why not then healing these pains by taking ownership of these devastations as we are a part of those who perpetrated them? If those of us who can feel we’d like to help heal see that it is a way there then in the spirit of service to a more loving humanity and world I see no way of denying this idea.


  6. Steinar Almelid November 13, 2010 at 1:50 pm // Reply

    I find this amazingly compassionate! Deep, deep, understanding of human energy and what it takes to open people’s hearts and minds to heaql and grow. Thank God for people like us, who see a challenge and do something about it. Thanks, Gay and Arjuna, for doing much good for all men and all women. Even though many may not know!

    Steinar, Oslo, Norway


  7. Christine Hoeflich November 13, 2010 at 1:50 pm // Reply

    Some people are already (and have been for some time) apologizing for what their forefathers have done, but it is not enough. What we need to do is to raise our consciousness about those events, in other words to gain the perspective of your higher self (the perspective of the souls who planned to experience those events). This is what will heal the world.

    To gain the perspective of your higher self you must reconnect to and integrate with your higher self–there is a simple process for this (simple, not necessarily easy). Once you begin this process, you gradually begin to gain this higher level perspective that shows you WHY certain things have happened. And, we have a huge opportunity to shift to a new world at the end of this cycle ending December 2012.

    I have found that gaining this higher level perspective is the key to this new world of peace–inner and outer.

    Christine Hoeflich


  8. Sahina November 13, 2010 at 1:55 pm // Reply

    Thank you so much Arjuna for your words on’ becoming an agent of collective healing’. What an exciting dialogue! My personal response to hearing you and Gay speak your manifesto, and when I read it also, is one of deep weeping. I am so extremely grateful and so deeply moved that you would both be so noble as to ‘take responsibility’ and to speak on behalf of all men in this way. It’s deeply, deeply healing for me to receive your sincere, heartfelt words of apology.

    At the same time, I understand and honor the responses you have received from men who are outraged and upset by your manifesto. Within the collective, we are also individuals who are all at different stages of evolution, of healing, of understanding. Not all men are at a place where they are ready to, or able to, or need to ‘take responsibility for other men’s actions’. It’s good that those men acknowledge what’s true for them at this point in time. Thankfully, women don’t need all men to apologize . . . even if only a handful of men are able to speak from the place that you and Gay speak from, that is sufficient for women to receive deep and powerful healing of their wound.
    With gratitude,


  9. Maggie Bockmann November 13, 2010 at 1:57 pm // Reply

    Beautiful, Arjuna. Absolutely, this is The Way forward. Thank you!


  10. Julian Spalding November 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm // Reply

    As a practitioner of Updated Ho’oponopono, I have learned to be responsible for what I see in my world— responsible to erase or transform the memory or meme that exists within me. I do this by expressing remorse and asking forgiveness. It is entirely an interior process which can be actived by saying to oneself, “I’m sorry for the problem, please forgive me.” This does not require expressing this to another. This process is elucidated in the book Zero Limits. This, of course, does not invalidate expressing remorse to another when one is led to do so.


  11. ursulakauer November 13, 2010 at 2:03 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,
    when I was at the Deeper Love -Seminar in Germany two years ago, I feeled after the healing-ritual between women and men that there was a very huge feeling in me. It was too big to explain it.


  12. Suzie Kidder November 13, 2010 at 2:06 pm // Reply

    Arjuana: I began listening to this piece in a comfortable, protected, intellectual energy. I was already in philosophical agreement with your thesis – the physics of fractals would suggest that the representative of the whole contains all the essential elements of the whole – hence its actions can act on behalf of, and stand for that whole. And the work being done on the potential effects of non co-located “phenomena” would confirm my personal belief that “it’s all connected, we’re all connected, and there’s nothing more than, or less than, the Whole.”

    And then I listened as you spoke of apologizing to the women of the world – and by extension to “the Feminine” – for those aspects of masculine energy, and the violence done to women by men now and over time. And I got that “whole body” movement of energy that says “This is Real and this is True.” So, the short answer would be “Yes.”

    And then listening to the reactions of some of men who wrote in response to this only confirms that you hit a nerve – a nerve that has been suppressed, denied, buried, and twisted into silence for hundreds and thousands of years. It made me very sad to listen to them.

    Right now I would like to apologize on behalf of all the women in their lives who were not strong enough, wise enough, generous enough, and brave enough – to give them the space to vulnerable, and small, and afraid. I would like to apologize to the men I know for the times my own needs have prevented me from acknowledging their needs. I am truly, deeply sorry, and I’m weeping as I type this.

    Just as there is a richer, deeper palette in which to paint “the Feminine,” so too is there a richer, deeper, more emotionally fulfilling palette in which to paint “the Masculine.” And, for what it’s worth to the men who fear this transformation – you have no idea how sad women feel when we see men who are still struggling to break out of that iron box of “what a man is supposed to be” – the anger, the violence, and the rigidity that never quite succeed in hiding the underlying fear. You have no idea how amazingly attractive, sexy, and compelling you are when you rediscover the fact that strong and tender are not opposites – and what an astonishing “turn on” this is to a woman.

    This is an important discussion to be having right now as we collectively attempt to figure out how shift so much insane of the behavior in which we’ve been collectively engaged on a global scale.

    I remember reading that “We make war because we’ve forgotten how to dance.” To those men who wrote in to say “It wasn’t me,” I believe you – sort of. I believe you haven’t actually done those things to the women in your own life. But I also believe that you’ve done damage to them, and even greater damage to yourselves, by not looking at the old, tired, 2-dimensional picture of “what it means to be a man.” So, here’s my hand – let’s dance?


  13. Ali November 13, 2010 at 2:14 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I SEE you – I HEAR you – Thank you.

    This healing is a gentle unraveling of the collective shadow – some have not yet developed the “ears” to here it…

    This is powerful and profound.

    Thank you,
    Peace and blessings,


  14. Johanna November 13, 2010 at 2:16 pm // Reply

    In my perception we are all ONE- one human soul too. But even if you would not be into this idea. There is a text about a medical doctor who healed all his patients only with the old HUNA method:
    explanation of this method:
    When applying Ho’oponopono, the Divine will cleanses a specific thought of all suffering and pain in the first step – COMPASSION: „I am sorry“.

    In the second step – FORGIVENESS: „I forgive myself for what I have created“ – the energy of pain is set free, and emptiness arises.

    In the third step – unconditional LOVE – the divine Light is allowed to flow into the emptiness to fill it up: „ I LOVE MYSELF / YOU / ALL OF CREATION“
    Ho’oponopono is a remarkably simple process of spiritual healing and is based on the properties of the quantum universe. In order to become able to work with this process, it is helpful to lay down the old world-view of classical nature sciences and to open up one’s mind to a shamanic and quantum-physical world-view.

    Each person is able to communicate with all dimensions of time and space through resonance, and even with being All-at-One beyond time and space.
    (I just chose to copy from :
    This is in the perception of
    we are all connected- in fact- we are ONE
    and everything that happens here on the planet – is happening to us all – in some way and we are all involved in it.

    At least it should be easy if we look at it from QUANTUM PHYSICS PERSPECTIVE

    And as we are all “in this” together – we also have to work us “out of” all what is now – to a better sort of life for Nature and Human beings.


    • nirado November 13, 2010 at 2:52 pm // Reply

      THANK YOU Joanna! I was about to post on this wonderful method of taking 100% responsibility. I trust it has been said and that it aligns with the intention of those creating this conversation. YES! We are ONE and it is possible to start NOW in healing our collective inheritance of anything that appears as hurt, confusion or separation.
      WIth love, in peaceful self responsibility.


    • Riitta November 13, 2010 at 3:33 pm // Reply

      Hi Johanna!
      Very nice! I share your idea and think it is possible and maybe even NECESSARY in some level to do it, because we ARE the same energy. It can also work the other way round. “I FORGIVE all the men who burned witches, because they really didn’t have a choice. They didn’t know what they were doing.” And I do forgive them.
      I’d like to get to know that Ho’oponoponopo.



    • lindsey November 14, 2010 at 2:17 pm // Reply

      Thank you for reminding me!!


  15. diana November 13, 2010 at 2:25 pm // Reply

    I felt this deep collective relationship during my year in France (I am German). My dear friend showed my German bomb holes in the Normandie, a very physical proof of (German) violence. I did what my soul wanted to do: I appologized as a German for this destruction. She didn`t understand and said: “you didn`t do it so why would you appologize?” Deep inside I still felt the need to say SORRY- not at the very personal level.
    Later on the french parents of my boyfriend told me (without blaming Germans or myself!!) that they hided American soldiers and risked their life with this human act. I started to cry because I felt the beauty of this unbelievebal courage and the fear they went through. While crying I felt that these tears can heal something. Again I said SORRY, but they didn`t understand.

    I am sure that there is collective pain,collective revenge-feelings (I have them too for many reasons, collective anger.

    Every time there is a group of people overpowered by another group there can be collective healing in this way!!

    In Germany we tried to create an awareness culture of what “we” did in the third “Reich”. But this process often stopped in confronting younger generations with these cruel historical facts. What is missing is just the act of appologizing and crying out the pain both sides accumulated- the victims and the murders!

    Maybe you know the foto of Brandt bowing his knees at a very official event to appologize for collective German cruelity. Never before and after a powerful politician and MAN did this simple act without words!
    It is not to accuse oneself without finding a healing end in this process (what many Germans critizise because they “didn`t commit these crimes themselfs”) but to do what you are describing f.e. at the Deeper Love!
    This prooves that we are all related and we can heal even on a global level!
    thank you so much for your courage!
    Lets do it every day!


  16. Sugie November 13, 2010 at 2:28 pm // Reply

    What comes to mind first is that I am female in this birth, but I may have been a male in other lives.
    We represent our particular gender in this day and age of dawning consciousness, so have a powerful responsibility to act from that representation now.
    Knowing that I have experienced life as both genders (or able to imagine so, if I don’t believe in “past” lives) I can feel drawn to apologize to and forgive as a human spirit clothed in a female body, those human spirits who now represent the male experience.
    It is the collective spirit that we represent with our individual bodies, whether we happen to be born woman or man, wealthy or poor, mentally well or ill, of color or not.
    Since now we, of the living generations, are called upon to go to the depth of our being to heal our physical and spiritual world, we can find ourselves able to communicate our apologies and our forgiveness to each other; for it is by grace or by chance that we are here in this form.
    In a way it is apologizing to and forgiving the male/female forces entwined within each of us – and as such this can be a very deep healing rather than a source of blame or shame.


  17. Karen November 13, 2010 at 2:31 pm // Reply

    Wow…!!! Very moving.. I felt like a lazer beam went through me as I listened to you. what an interesting and insightful approach. I am an Israeli woman, and think that this is so deep, and clean and pure! In every aspect!!
    Thank you for re-reminding me what life is about!


  18. Morgine November 13, 2010 at 2:41 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I have been communicating with animals and plants for almost 18 years. They tell me the BIGGEST illusion we live with is this idea of Separation! Where doyou end and I begin? EVERY THING I say and do AFFECTS All of Life. Every animal, plant, insect, human, the planet. If we are all ONE, if God is experiencing itself as all of its creations, we ARE all One and ALWAYS CONNECTED. Dr. Hew Len healed dozens of prisoners in a prison for the criminally insane without seeing them personally by working on himself! I took the class way before it became popular and we do daily rituals for “all of humanity” to heal all perpetrators of all painful events, back through all time. Thousands of people now do this daily.

    I am part of a visionary network and we do this work all the time for ALL PEOPLE EVERY WHERE. IT is the Most Exciting work I do, on behalf of our entire Universe!

    We can no longer believe somehow we live in isolation. I forgive myself for all things I have done intentionally or unintentionally to anyone in this lifetime and all my past lifetimes as all people I have ever ever been. I forgive everyone who intentionally or unintentionally hurt me in any way shape or form for all my lifetimes in all ways. THIS is what creates healing, going beyond the self and knowing you CAN love unconditionally. My forgiveness and love touches all people, all life, even beyond this planet and all its inhabitants. YES YES YES to your question.

    When has hate, judgment, resentment, anger, holding a grudge ever, ever “healed” anything? Look at Dr. Emoto’s work with water. Our angry thoughts pollute our Own Vessel, our own body, 70% of which is water. There is no good reason to do these things any longer. Love heals me and you and everyone I am connected to.. one little step at a time. At least that is “my truth” and I am proud to own it. With great love and appreciation.


    • lindsey November 14, 2010 at 2:07 pm // Reply

      hi Morgine, thank you for that, I would like to join you, will be in touch!!


  19. Helen November 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm // Reply

    THIS IS SO POWERFUL. I cried as I listened to your description of the men apologising to the woman, who was raped. And in doing so feel I released some trauma within myself. I live in Australia and a couple of years ago, our then PM apologised to the Aboriginal people, which was a huge healing for our entire country. And on a personal level, in this lifetime my brother was killed by IRA terrorists and our family was touched in the recent meeting of a former IRA member who met with us and apologised for his part in this “war”.


  20. Lindsay November 13, 2010 at 2:47 pm // Reply

    Dearest Arjuna,
    From my perspective it is possible for one to stand before another and apologize for an act that was not committed by them yet results in great healing for the person receiving the apology.

    Several years ago, I was teaching in Germany. I was giving seminars in several cities. One of the things that struck me at that time was the enormous amount of guilt that so many German people carry for the atrocities committed during the World Wars and the Holocaust especially. Most of these people were not even alive during the wars. As an American who had been raised on the newsreels of the 1950’s this surprised me. Especially ,that young people, who would have to go back at least 2 generations, carried so much guilt.

    I was teaching a retreat outside of Hamburg and there was an older man attending who had been conscripted by the Nazi’s as a Hitler youth. He suffered debilitating guilt. I realized how generation after generation of German’s entire identity had been effected by these horrific times.

    While this man sat sobbing, as the seminar facilitator, I felt something deep move through me. I knew as apology was called for. I stood before the group, as I witnessed the burden of their collective guilt being held as unforgivable, and I asked for their forgiveness. They were stunned. I knelt before them and said that I represented the rest of the world. The world who had judged them as guilty, just for being born German. There was a hush, followed by tears and much emotion.
    Never had it occurred to them that such a forgiveness could be asked for.

    I took the time with the former Hitler youth, then in his seventies, whose entire life had been devastated by what he had been forced to do. And I asked the same, please forgive all of us who have judged you for your actions, I held him in my arms while he cried. The hush in the room was palpable. The result was an unburdening of unimaginable pain.

    The discussion that followed was one of great healing and a relief that many never expected to happen in their lives.

    So, yes, I do know that we can apologize for others and it can have a deeply transformative effect. Thank you Arjuna and Gay for your manifesto. It is an important stand and an important beginning.

    Many Blessings,


    • Wendy November 14, 2010 at 12:43 am // Reply

      Thank you Lindsay!


    • lindsey November 14, 2010 at 2:00 pm // Reply

      Thank you Lindsay, that was beautiful,Blessings


  21. peter November 13, 2010 at 3:11 pm // Reply

    i think what you have created is an opportunity for some deep darkness to begin to be healed. We all live collectively even if we live alone, & we have all been left with some deep wounds of mens’ violence. So amazing to me that to look at violence and to look at which gender does the violence stirs up such a hornets’ nest. Just look @ the number of rapes in this country, the number of murders, of violent assaults, see how many are committed by men, how many by women? When their guilt is proven they are personally punished & collectively we are all impacted. A man could choose to feel into this & apologize, or not? It is there, mens violence, & yes it is personal, & it is collective. I heard of something like this from a process called Hono’onpono [spelling check didn’t help] A Dr on a psych ward for the criminally insane changed the place & the people in it by saying silently…”I am sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you”……..What ever motivated you to start this I am sure that it did not come from a shaming/blaming place, & if someone is angered, hurt, upset by it, your intention is pure, & you have lovingly started a deep process of inquiry. And there is also healthy shame, & denial that may have been triggered by this inquiry. We’ll just have to wait & see, I do not see the inquiry as responsible for creating any ‘toxic shame’ I think it healing & truthful to apologize for the ‘shameful’ acts of our own & others.


  22. donna nikzi November 13, 2010 at 3:18 pm // Reply

    A HEARTY “YES!!!” to this question. In Reality, there is no time, no space; only the infinite NOW. I apologize and ask forgiveness to Mother Earth (we take all of our sustenance from her, then stab her without the slightest feelings of remorse) and to the animals (we do the same to the animals choosing to be unconscious of their hopeless plight in this paradigm which we have created. And in this moment, I also apologize and ask forgiveness of all of the children who are being installed with a program of violence – in an attempt to negate the Lovingkindness which is our true nature. I apologize and ask forgiveness of the creation for our choice to serve self rather than The Creation and All of Life.


  23. Vera Poole November 13, 2010 at 3:26 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna
    I do enjoy your energy, your great intentions and your work. As a psychologist I have worked with trauma all my life. My comment on this subject is that I believe that the exercise was good for the victim of abuse and was helpful to her. But a victim is healed not when the perpetrator finally ask for forgiveness. But when the victim is ready to stand up for oneself or better saying for the emotional child within, standing up in a confrontation where one is not asking for anything from the perpetrator but is simply ready to say the truth out laud. It would come out like this, “yes it took all this years working on myself to let go of the consequences of the sexual abuse perpetrated against me by you. I just want to let you know the consequences of what you have done, this this and this.” This way he or she can get free and able to let go of being a victim. Now carrying the precious emotional child inside the heart.
    Coming back to your sharing of the exercise my feeling is that it has probably being more powerful for the man that apologized because it takes surrender and depth of heart. Places that may have been opened for the first time through the opportunity.
    I also want to explain why I did not say she when referring to the victim it is because the victim of sexual abuse has been also men. Sexual abuse is not about sex, it is all about power.


  24. Lee Offenhauer November 13, 2010 at 3:30 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna and all,

    Thanks so much for bringing this up, and the timing is perfect because this morning, on my morning walk, I came to a realization regarding this very topic. Ah glorious synchronicity!

    So here’s my insight: Yes, it can be done, but there’s a MAJOR caveat. Let’s take the rapist example. You, as the man, must get in touch with AND FORGIVE, that shadow part OF YOURSELF that is capable of rape — that IS a rapist. You must forgive yourself, the rapist, before you can honestly apologize to those whom you have raped. This energy must be transmuted and transcended inwardly before it will have a meaningful effect outwardly. This is so because at the very highest and deepest levels, we are all one. Any area within that is not loved — i.e. transmuted to love — remains in the collective field of hurt as well. This would also be true for the one who was raped. She would have to forgive her rapist, because she too has an inner rapist somewhere. If she merely holds resentment and victimization and looks for apologies from outside before she can forgive, she will remain a victim and no healing will occur.

    This entire dynamic points to the fact that inward and outward, individual and collective, past and future — in fact ANY polarity you can name — are really illusory. Or perhaps they could be thought of as derivative phenomena. They are facets of one Divine Whole, which sort of “congeals” or separates out into these apparent real polarities.

    So I’m not sure how effective this would be as some kind of ritualized or formalized apology, because the energy dynamics would have to be real for it to work. The reactions of the two men you read on your video blog are an example of how the whole thing could be misunderstood. And until they are ready to see that part of them that is capable of rape (continuing this example), trying to force out an apology would do no good at all.

    I think this kind of work is best done in small groups as you’ve described, where the stated purpose is clear. This work will also have an effect in softening the heart of the greater collective.

    Blessings upon Blessings to you for your extraordinary work!

    Lee Offenhauer


  25. Al Farthing November 13, 2010 at 3:32 pm // Reply

    Fascinating statement — and discussion.
    Are there historical events that deserve to be labelled for what they are, and for harm that has been caused?
    Of course.
    Is it useful for me as an individual to issue a set of aplogies for some or all of the atrocities throughout the human story?
    Only the ones I have personally been a part of.
    This could get not only unwieldy, but quite absurd!
    For example — I was raised in Canada, but my father was an American from the South.
    Atrocities were committed by certain branches of the Union forces against the people of the South.
    Perhaps some of those victims were my ancestors.
    Would there be any use of someone who lives today, giving me an apology for that? Or me giving an apology for any atrocities committed by my Southern ancestors against the Union ?
    Now push it back even further. My ancestry is Celtic, and we know the Celts were invaded by the Romans some 2,000 years back –many were killed, others enslaved, and women raped, as is always the case in war.
    Should I as a Celt expect an aopogy for that?
    Whoops! I have to remember that for centuries the Celtikc Armies attacked and sacked Roman territories. Should I as a Celt apologize to all those who have Roman ancestry?
    This sounds like sophistry to me!
    We all have painful memoires of some kind, caused by someone somewhere — if I want to deeal with whatever pain came from that, better I deal with my own painbody and tendency to look for someone else to blame for my current problems.
    Only I can choose to take that step — or not.
    And it makes little sense for me to sit around waiting for an apology from a total stranger who had nothing at all to do with my pain.
    I think there are better ways to use our energy than running around apologizing to everybody in sight who suffered whatever.


  26. Riitta November 13, 2010 at 3:38 pm // Reply

    As commented to Johanna’s comment, YES I think it is possible and it is even necessary and it will happen with or without our participation. We do it on a personal level when we want to go on with our life and reach higher consciousness level and I think we are doing it collectively, too.


  27. Sue November 13, 2010 at 3:42 pm // Reply

    It seems to me that to vehemently object to apologising for something that one has not personally done – is to also deny the shadow side. The shadow side is what we do not want to look at in ourselves – but it still exists – and will continue to unless we accept it as part of us. The same can be said for collective consciousness – just because we haven’t done something as an individual – it doesn’t mean to say that we are not capable of it as a gender under a certain set of circumstances. And if there is no past and future as far as the subconscious is concerned – only present – then an apology or healing can only take place in the now.


  28. Pernell November 13, 2010 at 3:49 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,
    Thank you..I get this very deeply. As an African-American I would be willing to accept my collective part in the hatred and bigotry to facilitate healing between the races.


  29. Wendy November 13, 2010 at 3:57 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I am just reading the book “RADICAL Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle” by Colin C. Tipping, and … Yes, I do believe it is possible, by using radical forgiveness, to erase a collective guilt. After all… are we not all one?
    Love and Light,


  30. Laura November 13, 2010 at 3:59 pm // Reply

    Arjuna – Right on! Contraversial – expect nothing less – and so on the cutting edge. It can only be through the courage to take that level of responsibility for what is happening in the collective of which we are a part, that it can change. The ripples in the pond have to start somewhere.

    I was on a workshop a number of years ago and there was a woman in immense pain. She was unable to move through a traumatic and abusive event in her past. In a moment of inspiration the facilitator got down on his knees infront of her and begged her forgiveness for everything done to her … then everything done to the feminine by the unconscious masculine.

    Something HUGE shifted in a room of 100 people that day.

    It works. Little by little, it works.

    Bravo Arjuna.

    Can I share the video on Facebook?


  31. Ewa November 13, 2010 at 4:01 pm // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna. This is beautiful.


  32. Judy November 13, 2010 at 4:03 pm // Reply

    Absolutely, I believe 100% what you are saying, Arjuna, that humans can heal another’s wounds that they did not personally cause. The perpetrator is rarely gonna apologize or admit anything. So, there has to be a way to heal. It only takes one event to make a person prejudiced, so why not the other way around – we can change/heal by a positive interaction with another person, it doesn’t matter WHO it is, it is the interaction, the feeling that happens. Why do people have such a hard time with this? I think because they feel they are being personally blamed. They aren’t, so they have some blocks inside them that need healed also. We all need so much forgiveness and love and kindness to heal, takes courage and strength to reach out and do it, to help another heal their wounds.


  33. Lili November 13, 2010 at 4:07 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,I believe whole heartedly in what you shared. What came to mind was a small episode where my husband had done a lot of work for a friend and she denied to thank him. I was very upset because of that and I was told by a third friend ” Why don’t you thank him ” And I did, I thanked my husband from the bottom of my my heart for all that work he did for this friend and it was complete.
    This was just a small example but it gave me a profound lesson in how we can give thanks or apologies on behalf on someone else and make it complete and bring healing.
    Lili Just Simons


  34. abla el-azhary November 13, 2010 at 4:09 pm // Reply

    hi Arjuna,wow,like the lady before.. this short talk got me weeping deeply ..remembering a sitution in a relationship 20 years ago offended me from the boy friend and my body closed down after that sexually and not had any more boy friends well untill last year and i felt that i wasnt all there too like the lady in your story ..i had some tantric work done and it openend me again course we can heal collectively .the Hopono Pono the Kahonna,Hawaiian healers they believe that every thing and every body that comes their way its their resposibilty,i am sure you know that .and they have a prayer i think its like i love you ,i thank you i am sorry forgive me ..some thing like that ..
    I am a massage thearpist, Rebirther and clairvoyant .ladies clients who finish with the boy friend or the husband ,spend many years after wanting them to back and apologize its crazy even me lol and they did lol lol .It dosnt matter who says it we are all respensible for every that is happing now in the world.
    so thanks very much for the work you doing to heal the world GOD BLESS


  35. Chris Gibbs November 13, 2010 at 4:11 pm // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna for setting this in motion – I am overwhelmed by the depth and beauty of many of the comments left above by so many wise people!
    This is really another example of the rising consciousness of Translucence. I don’t need to say much more because so many people have already said it: we are all perpetrators as well as victims. We just need to accept our dark side and the forgiveness will follow.


  36. Rebecca November 13, 2010 at 4:20 pm // Reply

    Thank you for the videoblog. I feel it in my heart to be true what you are saying. It’s the kind of truth that moves me, touches something time- and placeless. It’s this kind of healing that could move things forward.


  37. Vic November 13, 2010 at 4:38 pm // Reply

    About 30 years ago I took a philosophy course and this was one of the discussions we had during the semester. The question was whether we, as individuals, could take responsibility for wrong actions that had been perpetrated by our forefathers to others of different race, religion, etc. At the time, I absolutely could not see taking any responsibility for any acts not committed literally by me.

    Today, as I listened to the your video, I could say, Yes, without reservation. I think it is compassion and remorse, in the context of the offense, that the wounded need to experience in order to heal, regardless if it is the actual offender or not. At the collective level we all know what know what it takes to give and receive forgiveness. We can all step outside our individual, ego state and extend an olive branch to any and all of our brothers and sisters in humanity.


    • Shirley Walsh November 13, 2010 at 10:23 pm // Reply


      You and Gay Hendricks are showing the rest of us a simple way of healing our world. You are revealing to us, as a species, a way to unite as one entity for the salvation of our planet, no matter what dichotomy we feel we represent, man/woman; German/Jew; White/Black; rich/poor; developed country/poor country; on and on… You are illuminating a pathway to healing and survival.

      The way of ‘one group gaining to the detriment of others’ is exterminating life on every level: from the natural world – animal, mineral, plant, water, air…; through our family units; our communities; our societies; our cultures; our countries, our world. We are all one and what we do to the other, we do to ourselves.

      When we kill and pollute our earth by oil extraction and burning; when we kill and pollute our society by dismissing and dominating others; when we believe it is alright for some to have unlimited wealth while others don’t have enough to provide life basics; life for everyone is unsustainable.

      Compassion, caring, and taking personal responsibility for the collective well-being of life on this planet is what will enable us to bring health and wellness to all aspects of life here on earth. Each of us individually is empowered to create wellness for ourselves, our family, our communities… We just have to awaken our consciousness to what is happening and to what kind of life we want for our universal life here on earth.

      You Arjuna and Gay have given us a vehicle, a way to awaken our human conscious… a way to turn life around to cooperation, support, caring, nurturing, and healing our lives into a joyful, peaceful, and loving sustainable existence for all.

      I thank you and I fully support you in this endeavour. Whatever I can do, I will do. Keep leading us.

      Joy and Peace,
      Shirley Walsh


      • Jeffrey T November 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm // Reply

        Shirley, I loved reading the breadth of your concern and so, the depth of your understanding. I immediately sense you as a trustworthy being, as one who recognizes that every allegedly “isolated” particular social issue of ignorance, inhumanity, imbalance, disregard, pollution…is connected to and reflective of all the others, i.e., the collective ignorance of a whole conscious nurturing understanding and relation with health in our ‘physical’ human bodies reflecting our insane/imbalanced treatement of earth/nature/air/water/ground…or the sad collective inequality/oppression of male against female, or ethnic culture vs. ethnic culture…or…or…these are all the secondary symptoms of institutionalized, patriarchal, patriotic materialistic cluelessness—made possible only by prior ignorance/lack of conscious self-awareness of deeper pure universal being. I find it difficult to imagine any of these particular issues becoming genuinely and fully healed until we are conscious enough to disallow perpetuation of any kind of ignorance, fear, falsehood, inequality, and violence in any part of human society. IOW, none of these will be healed—and, none of us will be healed—until all of it and all of us are healed in return to pure conscious awareness. Patriarchal religions, military build-up and blow-up, capitalist-materialist rape of the planet, air-and-water-polluting use of petrol, “legalized” robbery of indigenous homelands, etc., all of these must be considered unacceptable to the ones who realize all are one and deserving of whole respect.


  38. Kathy November 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm // Reply

    I believe there is power in the words Forgive Me, no matter what the cirecumstances.

    Have you heard of Ho’Oponopono ? This is a very powerful process that can work on forgiveness, also.

    I have used it and have felt great relief for myself and others.

    Keep spreading information for all to use.


  39. Ulli November 13, 2010 at 5:53 pm // Reply

    I am just reading the book by Drunvalo Melchizedek: Serpent of Light, where he travels all around the world with a group of dedicated people to help heal hearts, align energies. right ancient imbalances, like you are talking about and increase our awareness of the indivisibility in the universe. I hope you all can read it too. Right on Arjuna. Thanks for doing that work.


  40. Ursula November 13, 2010 at 6:20 pm // Reply

    this is creating toxic shame


  41. Mara November 13, 2010 at 7:05 pm // Reply

    I’ve been privileged to participate in several group sessions run by Dr Hellinger who developed the process called Family Constellation Work. This process is similar to what you are proposing, however, it has been contained to family perpetrations passed through generations. My experience allows to me state here, from my own experience with these kinds of processes, that there is profound healing that can be experienced through constellation work. There is an inordinate amount of documentation already available on transformative results from this model. And I encourage you to take your expanded version of this work into the world community. And I encourage others to participate in the process. What has anyone got to lose in participating? Only a narrow perspective of what can be helpful to all mankind! And what might anyone have to gain in participating? Only a new freedom from past suffering. How glorious a thought!


    • tove weberg November 14, 2010 at 4:28 am // Reply

      we have to suffer…its part of nature and a natural way to bring humans together…our collective sorrow bonds us..


  42. Elizabeth Powers November 13, 2010 at 7:44 pm // Reply

    Having experienced this process in a workshop many years ago, I totally support what you are doing. We, in this United States, think of ourselves collectively as Americans.

    When people talk about the atrocities that happened to Native Americans and African Americans from the time our European forefathers landed on this continent, it’s common for people to say something like “look what we have done”.

    The pain…the guilt still pervades our collective consciousness and has yet to be fully acknowledged, forgiven, absolved and released. By carrying those collective subconscious memories, we perpetuate the separation and those fringe groups in our culture such as the KKK and Neo-Natzi’s.

    A national forgiveness day would be an awesome experience, where we forgive and let go of all the guilt, shame and blame that haunts us as a nation..a culture…a collective consciousness. Where leaders of conflicted factions hold ceremonies much like the indigenous peoples of the world do at the Gathering of Eagles events that occur annually all over the planet…drumming together and sharing a medicine wheel ceremony with the intent to heal he wounds between them and walk together as one.


    • tove weberg November 14, 2010 at 4:22 am // Reply

      the collective guilt seem to be so diffrent in diffrent countries..based on our history..


  43. Sal November 13, 2010 at 7:45 pm // Reply

    Thoughtful lovely video thank you. And I am perfectly sure that everything you say in the video is right.

    But I think that like everything else it is complex. Not one size fits all. And it is really hard to “manufacture” on demand. It can be just right, and releasing — or a strained and uncomfortable attempt that just doesn’t gel.

    Also there is a bit of a myth that once something is ‘released’ it’s gone, like a magic wand. But the brain doesn’t work like that – changing memory track associations can require more than a single ‘release’

    And there is a dreadful market-driven guru-circuit of spruikers who just LOOOOOVE this kind of thing (more ‘content’ to package up and sell to woo-woo land). They turn it into a sales pitch and single-issue “secret” solution, and cover it so thickly with treacly schmaltz that it becomes unbearable, like “the Secret”. Everything is WONDERFUL and RICH and JUICY and they can “feel the energy shift” yabbada yabbada – oh, and buy at a discount NOW before the offer expires, and blessings on you all … There is some good amongst the dross (I count you in that lot) BUT the habitual happy-happy makes the whole “circuit” so undiscriminating and unwilling to say anything other than JUICY and RICH that rivers of derivative muck flow through the system (some of it pinches a single idea from one or two academic papers but without any acknowledgement of the fact, so it LOOKS like personal revelation and also can’t be tested).

    OR it could turn into dangerous psycho-babble with cult-like overtones like the Est people who have to keep changing their name as the old one catches up with them, or the Scientologist-type crazies.

    So – I think you do great work. But this areas is so habitually gushy that I thought you could do with something that (1)supports your idea but (2) doesn’t swing automatically into a rich and juicy ‘bless you’ reflex. There is a fine line and a certain crowd to keep it away from — there are a lot of very schmaltzy (and I think ultimately insincere) woo-woos – at least they SOUND as if they are trying so desperately to “flourish” — but it isn’t EMERGING from within themselves, it is a ‘pulling and pushing’ and a DETERMINATION to flourish by doing their practice and bless everything to get their own ABUNDANCE ….

    Cheers, Sal

    FYI – link to manifesto under the video gives error message:
    “You can read The Manifesto for Conscious Men on Facebook HERE.”


    • Ron November 14, 2010 at 9:18 am // Reply

      The cynic in me easily adopts this view point. However, the problem solver in me continues to look for solutions to the collective well-being (the Paul Newman, John Wooden, MLK, Ghandi philosophies). Looking at the big picture the sins of humanity are many and individually as well as collectively we are human beings that make mistakes. Striving for perfection is the journey of life. I believe the work of Collective Consciousness is another step on that path. I belong to a men’s group and read the first paragraph of this manifesto to all present. I felt uncomfortable. Now I understand why. A deeper level of unconsciousness was being accessed. Systems and processes will need to change dramatically to achieve the outcomes of this new way of identifying ourselves. It may not happen in my lifetime, however, my deepest desires are that we not give in to the status quo and that we continually seek a more thoughtful and compassionate understanding of one another and practice true empathy each moment of our presence between the cycle of birth death.


      • Jeffrey T November 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm // Reply

        Yep, the whole mammonic-materialist-political-capitalist-scientist-religious-educational system is A SLICK SICK LIE, and until people become conscious enough to pull the plug from that patriarchal-patriotic-nationalist-militarized American factory cesspool, it is only being daily reinforced and perpetuated through the compulsory public hollywood, disneyland, and G.I. Joe mis-education system and prostituted corporate-$-controlled news media.


  44. Elizabeth November 13, 2010 at 8:07 pm // Reply

    Suzie Kidder said it for me. To take it one step further, the primary apology we need to make is to ourselves for believing we are separate. It’s the ultimate betrayal and has nothing to do with gender. Still…your video was beautiful and inspiring. Thank you.


    • tove weberg November 14, 2010 at 4:18 am // Reply

      totally agree…thanks


      • Fagan (Christine) Thomas March 13, 2014 at 7:39 pm // Reply

        Dear Arjuna, I am deeply touched and with tears in my eyes. Thank you. I had quite a similar experience in a dance workshop, with about 200 people (biodanca the Dance of Life). A stunning Ritual between the men and women, without words. First all Men were collectively kneeling down before all women, and instantly there was an incredible Release of tears and pain on the side of the women! It seemed to be All the pain from centuries. Then all women kneeled down in front of all men, and I was so surprised how much pain there was on the menside! I was Not aware of this. And to me that was very healing, to understand how much hurt and pain is present in men. Lets all,heal each other, as often as it might be neccessary. Until there is no pain left over.


  45. susie November 13, 2010 at 8:22 pm // Reply

    The past is like a painting we cant take away what has been painted there but we can add things to it We view the past through the lens of the present and the new forms laid donn by us of empathy apology change our whole perception in this now where we all live. less poetically if people ar allowed even encouraged to feel collective pride in ancestors and as nations much of our history .flags etc collectively bask in past glories then it is totally logical that their can and should be collective aploogy and compassion even if only as a balance-copyright


  46. Chip Tasker November 13, 2010 at 8:52 pm // Reply

    Arjuna, Thank you so much for your work!!!! I agree that the only way forward is forgiveness. As I like to tell my clients, forgiveness does not deem another right or wrong, it releases the hold the other person has on you. To forgive sets people free. I feel that by a person stepping up and apologizing for an event that their gender, or race has committed and asking for forgiveness allows the other person to hear the words that will help relese them from their pain.
    Many Blessings and Much Love to you


  47. Iris November 13, 2010 at 9:50 pm // Reply

    Call Me by My True Names

    Do not say that I’ll depart tomorrow
    because even today I still arrive.

    Look deeply: I arrive in every second
    to be a bud on a spring branch,
    to be a tiny bird, with wings still fragile,
    learning to sing in my new nest,
    to be a caterpillar in the heart of a flower,
    to be a jewel hiding itself in a stone.

    I still arrive, in order to laugh and to cry,
    in order to fear and to hope.
    The rhythm of my heart is the birth and
    death of all that are alive.

    I am the mayfly metamorphosing on the surface of the river,
    and I am the bird which, when spring comes, arrives in time
    to eat the mayfly.

    I am the frog swimming happily in the clear pond,
    and I am also the grass-snake who, approaching in silence,
    feeds itself on the frog.

    I am the child in Uganda, all skin and bones,
    my legs as thin as bamboo sticks,
    and I am the arms merchant, selling deadly weapons to

    I am the twelve-year-old girl, refugee on a small boat,
    who throws herself into the ocean after being raped by a sea
    and I am the pirate, my heart not yet capable of seeing and

    I am a member of the politburo, with plenty of power in my
    and I am the man who has to pay his “debt of blood” to, my
    dying slowly in a forced labor camp.

    My joy is like spring, so warm it makes flowers bloom in all
    walks of life.
    My pain if like a river of tears, so full it fills the four oceans.

    Please call me by my true names,
    so I can hear all my cries and laughs at once,
    so I can see that my joy and pain are one.

    Please call me by my true names,
    so I can wake up,
    and so the door of my heart can be left open,
    the door of compassion.

    Thich Nhat Hanh


  48. Eleaquina November 13, 2010 at 9:53 pm // Reply

    Hello Arjuna, God keeping blessing you every single day of your life. YES!!!!, I believe from all my heart from each cell of my body that we can heal and be heal colectibly, of course not everybody agree by now because we need to open and wake up our consious and conect ourself with the infinit power from we come from, I thin also that is easy to talk about than to act like, but I believe since is not outthere and inthere, that everybody is connect; in some way will be that magic moment that in the correct time that all as one be a great heart and soul in love and greatness, by now I am another more that bileve, it doesn’t if by myself can’t heal anything I believe that together any thing we do is possible.


  49. Luke November 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm // Reply

    Have many mixed feelings about this topic.

    Used to like reading prayers in Marianne Williamson’s book Illuminata: A Return To Prayer and in that book there’s a few prayers apologizing to groups of people, African Americans, Native Americans…

    With the Manifesto for Conscious Men I am having a hard time relating to it. It feels like a lot of ‘made up story’ to me. I think sometimes people buy into stories and they adopt the pain they think they should have from taking on the ‘story’.

    Personally, I would like to honor and cherish the women I am with in present time without the ‘story’… Would like to see her as the Goddess that she is and recognizing someone as God is seeing them without a past or a collective-past. There is just beauty and the divine there. Seeing them fully for who they are…


  50. Mel November 13, 2010 at 10:43 pm // Reply

    I’m failing to see how this is “new”. We have for centuries been listening to white people and white men apologize for wrongs they didn’t personally commit. The most recent I recall is Bill Clinton apologizing on behalf of all America for not intervening in Africa’s recent genocide.

    I don’t know that it has changed anything in the past to have the occasional representative apologizing for the collective, but then, I don’t suppose we know what the world would be like today if they hadn’t.


  51. Selina November 13, 2010 at 11:02 pm // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna…

    For this stunning example of what is occuring all over the world with the “Collective Conscious”. Men & Women gathering together in the Extraordinary Act of Forgiveness on behalf of one another/each other!

    When we understand that this deep level of forgiveness offers, not