Better Than Sex: First Chapter

Here is the first chapter of my new book, Better Than Sex

Read, Enjoy, and Comment at the end!


Chapter 1
Drinks are by the Pool

Welcome to my new book.  Come on in, let me take your coat.  There’s a lot of great stuff going on here, so we can have a wonderful time together.  There is dancing in the living room, snacks are in the kitchen, there is a movie showing in the basement, and drinks are by the pool.  You can nibble on some radical new ideas here, you can test drive tools to use with yourself and others, and you can, hopefully, have a few good laughs along the way. If you like a good treasure hunt, we’ve got that too.  I have left little web thingies (please excuse my techie geek talk here)  throughout the book with links to video, audio and other goodies on my website.

I’m glad that you came just as you are.  No need to dress up.  This is a very informal book.  You might have already come to some of the other books I invited you to.  Many of them had footnotes, interviews going on with dozens of famous people, references, quotations, and a bibliography that stretched all the way from the coat closet to the bathroom down the hall.  Those were black tie events, with a catering service, valet parking, and a string quartet in the drawing room.  But not with this little Saturday afternoon barbecue book you’ve wandered into here — this is Arjuna Ardagh chez moi, in his flip flops, and shorts, and wrinkled Hawaii shirt — just friends hanging out together. So come on in, make yourself at home, you’ll fit right in. You can meet all the other people who showed up for the party here:

I invited you to this little book because I want to share something marvelous with you. I want to tell you about the One Thing that I am most inspired by, grateful for, and passionate about. It is the thing I most like talking about, and relaxing into. The One Thing is what I have dedicated my whole life to. I want to share with you here how easy it is for you to get yourself some of the One Thing today, in fact how easy it is for anyone on the whole entire planet to enjoy the One Thing, here, now, just as we already are.  And if that wasn’t enough already, I want to tell you how you can, very easily, become a vehicle for the One Thing, a distributor, a disseminator, a flag-bearer, an active agent of splendiferous splendor on the earth.

Now tell me, honestly, how cool is that?

Which brings me to the title. I am sure when you got the invitation to this book it must have got you curious.  Some people have showed up here who didn’t notice the “than” in the title.

“You Arjuna?”  they ask me.  I admit that I am.  “Good, we got the invitation, and we are here to find out about…” they look around furtively, and mumble out of the side of their pursed lips “…better sex.”

“Excuse me?” I ask them.  “You want to find out about what?”

Sex.  We came here to find out about better sex.”  Finally, a deep breath of courage.  “We want BETTER SEX,” they blurt, “and we want it now.”

“Ah, I see. Well, no need to shout.  It’s an innocent mistake.  No, actually the invitation said ‘Better THAN Sex.’ I can tell you all about the One Thing that is Better Than Sex.”  I beam at them. “The One Thing that is available to anyone, anywhere on the planet, right here, right now, that solves all your troubles instantly, and that gives you access to infinite creativity.  AND, I can tell you about how easily you can pass the One Thing onto other people.  C’mon in, and I’ll tell you everything.  Drinks are by the pool.”

Despite the misunderstanding, some people take me up on the offer.  Some remain quite adamant that what they really want is indeed Better Sex, and nothing more or less than that will do. I send them over to John Gray’s house.  He has all the best supplements for Mars and for Venus to get His and Her hormones dancing a wild tango on the grand piano.  Lucky for all, it totally works (, and so everyone is happy.

Now you might assume that someone who has the brazen boldness, or the flagrant foolishness to call his book “Better than Sex” is probably just very repressed and stuck up, and does not like sex very much.  Since I am British by birth, it would indeed be a reasonable assumption. But that ain’t me babe. No, no, no.  I love sex.  Sex, sex, SEX.  Yes please, over here, more please for me.  I have felt very positively about sex, despite my British genes, for more than 42 years, and I plan to stay very enthusiastic indeed about sex for many more years to come.  The One Thing that I want to tell you about here is so delicious, so powerful, so sweet, so incredibly fulfilling, so complete, so effective at soothing all your pain, breathing love and humor into your relationships, and lighting up your innate genius, that it is really hard to find words to express just how totally fantastic the One Thing is.  So just think of whatever you thought was the very peak of awesomeness, so far (in my case, that would be sex), multiply it by 1000, and there you have it: the One Thing that we are talking about here.

Let me tell you a little more about this One Thing, and how absurd it is that something more available to us than water, or air, or dirt, or cute kittens on Facebook, is not more popular than it actually is.  So far.

For starters, The One Thing never, ever, ever, gets boring.  I first discovered it about 21 years ago, and I have myself a good fix every day ever since.  And every time it’s totally new, never gets repetitive, like it is your very first time, every time.  See what I mean?  It is Better than Sex.

The One Thing never needs upgrading, replacing or fixing.  Once you know where to find it, it stays as shiny and new as the day you first got it out of the box. It has no bugs, no incompatibilities with other programs and no virus can corrupt it.  Which, in fact, makes it not only better than sex, but better than the Macintosh Operating System as well, which is another of my favorite things.

If you are single, the One Thing comes in very handy indeed.  Have you ever been to a party feeling really, really single?  Like you need somebody, want somebody, yearn for somebody to make you whole again?    As you may have noticed, that can be an unwise dating strategy. The more you long for Mr or Ms Right, the more needy you become, and the more even semi-right people act indifferent.  The One Thing totally takes care of that.  Just a few drops of the One Thing under your tongue, and you become beautiful from the inside out, you become irresistibly magnetic, and gorgeous people show up in your life, wanting you, out of thin air.  It worked for me, I’m married to the queen of gorgeousness now, and I used to have trouble dating skunks.  Which, incidentally, makes the One Thing not only better than sex, but better than Coco Chanel #5 as well.

If you are in a relationship, the One Thing also has magic to offer you. Do you ever get together with your partner for a nice relaxed intimate evening, and find yourselves fighting over random nonsense? Then the more you try to set it right, the deeper you dig the hole, or rather the very very separate two holes you now find yourselves in?  The One Thing will magically dissolve the feeling of separation between the two of you, so you just can’t, for the life of you both,  remember what the fight was about.  The One Thing leaves you just separate enough to find each other interesting, exotic and mysterious, and just merged enough to feel intimate, safe and home.  Which makes the One Thing better than Dr Phil.

If you have health problems, you may have heard that doctors tell us that more than 85% of the things which ail us are stress related.  Well, the One Thing is the ultimate stress buster.

If you are creative, the One Thing unblocks the flow of the muse, so you become a relaxed scribe for a torrent of brilliance that just pours through you, and all you need to do is lounge by the pool sipping mai tais and download it all.

I could go on and on.  In fact I think I will, for another hundred pages or so, because the One Thing has endless great things to be said about it.

I must admit that I am not the first person to write a book about the One Thing, although I might be the first person to do so while lounging by a pool sipping mai tais.  Just about every great, creative and truly happy person throughout all of history has relied heavily upon the One Thing for an endless supply of free energy.

By now you are probably wondering where you can get some of the One Thing right away, and start to enjoy it for yourself.  OK. So now I’m going to tell you where to go, and where to look.  And the best way to do this is to remember one of those ancient texts about the One Thing: an ancient legend from far away and long ago.

Long ago, when the earth and all living creatures were being created, a meeting was called of the council of the Gods.  They wanted to make the One Thing available to all Human beings, but they were concerned that it might be misused. So they decided to hide it, where only those people who could value its power could find it.
Where to hide the One Thing was the question. “Let’s bury it deep in the earth,” said one God. But another answered, “No, that will not do, because humans will eventually create huge machines to dig into the earth and find it.”
Another God said, “Let’s sink it in the deepest ocean.” But then came the objection, “No, not there, for they will learn to dive into the ocean in big metal fishes, and will find it.” Then someone said, “Let’s take it to the top of the highest mountain and hide it there.” But once again another replied, “No, that will not do either, because they will eventually climb every mountain and put the One Thing to improper use.” Then they all gave up in despondency. “We do not know where to hide it, because it seems that there is no place on earth or in the sea that human beings will not eventually reach.”
The King of all the Gods thought for a long time and then said, “Here is what we will do. We will hide the One Thing deep in the center of their own being, for humans will never think to look for it there.”
They all agreed that this was the perfect hiding place, and the deed was done. Since that time, humans have been going up and down the earth, digging, diving, climbing, and exploring, searching for power and riches and resources, when all the time the greatest treasure is already within themselves.

This book is all about how to uncover the One Thing that is hidden deep within all of us.  And, more important, it is about how to perform the ultimate act of service and loving kindness that anyone could possibly perform for any other human being, which is how to bring the One Thing alive in another person.

In this book, I am going to tell you about how to do this in general terms. I am going to describe for you the seven qualities that anyone can develop to become an excellent support to anyone else in this way.  But I am also going to make frequent reference to a particular method which we have developed, called Awakening Coaching, which makes these seven qualities activated and available in anyone who wants to use them.  This is a little bit like Steve Jobs writing a book about what it takes to create a really great computer, or Ida Rolf writing a book about how to align the body in gravity.  They could each write about basic principles, but of course they would end up referencing Apple Computer or Rolfing a good deal as well.  I will tell you all that you need to know here about how to bring forth The One Thing in anyone else, and I will also tell you about how we do it using the tools of Awakening Coaching.

Our exploration must start with you.  Remember that this party is a pot luck, right?  I see that you are clutching something very delicious in that container you are holding.  This is the most important ingredient of all. Lets start right there, with what you brought to the party.

That’s it!  First Chapter.  I am itchy to hear your thoughts.

I am happy to share more of the book with a group of friends like you.
If you’d like to read more of the book,
type your comments into the area below
Share your thoughts with me, and I will send you more!


103 Responses to “Better Than Sex: First Chapter”

  1. Denise May 25, 2012 at 7:30 am // Reply

    Oh… Arjuna… I’m sorry to say, i found that read quite frustrating and annoying.

    I listened in to your recording today.

    but … really.. i fell in love with your message and style when I listened to an interview of you with Tami Simon on Sounds True… your snapshot on enlightenment etc on that was FANTASTIC… I had never heard in put in quite the way you did.

    but this chapter.. up there.. was just like a new age, mile long, sign up letter that just make me want to yell, JUST SAY THE ONE &%^^%$^&^ THING ALREADY AND STOP &^%*^$*&^ around, I’m over the sales pitch and the la la… just get to the point.

    I apologise if that sounds rude, impatient and insensitive.

    I wish you the best in your quest, to share your thing,



    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm // Reply

      Thanks Denise
      So sorry this did not resonate
      i will digest your feedback


  2. kitschmaster May 29, 2012 at 8:42 pm // Reply

    no-thing at center where you are reading this. 😉


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:29 pm // Reply

      hi K
      is that a good thing or a bad thing?!


  3. Joy May 29, 2012 at 9:10 pm // Reply

    Editorial comment: In your second sentence, you ask to take my coat. Then you tell me about the pool and talk about BBQ. Is it summer or some season of cooler weather? I doubt I’d be wearing a coat if it warm enough to swim in your pool.

    Otherwise, ok, you’ve got my attention. I look forward to more!


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm // Reply

      shall i make it “thin summer jacket”?

      or let me take your things


  4. Tim Richardson May 29, 2012 at 10:01 pm // Reply

    Bloody brilliant Arjuna! What a joy to read something so new, creative, fun, insightful, ingenious. Well done!

    Nothing new under the sun? Yes there is -and it’s “Better Than Sex”


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm // Reply


      thanks Tim


  5. Connie May 29, 2012 at 11:39 pm // Reply

    First comment – I’m an editor and can’t help pointing out minor errors in the text.
    In the paragraph beginning with “for starters”, the one sentence should say, “And every time it’s (with an apostrophe) totally new…”
    Here: If you are in a relationship, the One Thing also has magic to offer you. Do you ever get together with your (with an r) partner for a nice relaxed intimate evening…
    Here: Another God (without the s)said, “Let’s sink it in the deepest ocean.”
    OK. Those things aside, I both like and don’t like the informality of your presentation. So that doesn’t help.
    The main comment I have is that your first chapter makes me want to find out the 7 qualities that allow one to be of greatest service to fellow human beings.


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:30 pm // Reply

      thanks Connie
      think i fixed it all

      the informal style is an experiment


  6. Trish May 30, 2012 at 1:39 am // Reply

    Bravo on Chapter One! Anxiously awaiting the next installment. Lovely writing style.


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:31 pm // Reply

      thanks Trish


  7. Hans May 30, 2012 at 2:03 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    The lines above really are like appetizers … talking about hunger!

    I wonder if there is a typo:

    “I could go on and on. If fact I think I will, for another hundred pages or so, …” Should it be “IN FACT”??

    I really look forward to connecting to you again in person!

    Kind Regards,


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:31 pm // Reply

      fixed the typo
      thanks Hans!


  8. Robyn May 30, 2012 at 6:23 am // Reply

    Wow!! I’m hooked. Fabulous first Chapter Arjuna! I can see how this (almost) introduction to the One Thing will greatly appeal to individuals of all ages, levels of awareness and interest in coaching others. Beautiful work!


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:31 pm // Reply

      thank you!


  9. John May 30, 2012 at 11:40 am // Reply

    I like the friendly tone of Chapter 1, and the fact that you are approaching the subject from a humorous perspective prevents it from sounding like a snake oil sales pitch. Could there really be anything better than sex? I’m curious to learn more.


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm // Reply

      thank you John!
      glad you liked the tone


  10. alex May 30, 2012 at 11:48 am // Reply

    I love your work and I’m very curious how you want to uncover the secret of bliss in our hearts.


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm // Reply

      thank you, Alex!


  11. Linda May 30, 2012 at 12:23 pm // Reply

    A, I Loved your book, “The Last Laugh,” and “Leap Before You Look”, is useful but, I don’t look at it much, as I guess I don’t need it.
    This first ch. of this book may be for some, but, it’s like way too much foreplay, before Sex. It doesn’t make me want to read this book. With Love and Kindness, Linda


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 4:32 pm // Reply

      Thanks Linda
      sorry the tone did not resonate
      and glad you liked the Last Laugh!


  12. Susan May 30, 2012 at 4:18 pm // Reply

    Ha, Ha, I loved your remark that you used to have trouble dating skunks before you found the One Thing. I’m looking forward to the next chapter!


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:43 pm // Reply

      thanks Susan!


  13. Heather May 30, 2012 at 6:53 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I’m smiling. Hello. Thank you for sharing your work. You took me on the following emotional/thought journey as I read:

    I liked the informality – made me feel like I was really being invited to come as I am – and to let my simple self show up (without posturing/ego/want/judgment in how I processed the information). I didn’t feel like I was either superior or inferior to you – a sign that the tone was accessing me on an authentic level.

    As I came to it authentically, I imagined the “peaks” of my life experience, and then I imagined what could be 1000 times better, every single day.

    I assumed that if it really is always with me, inside me, than on some deeper level I must already know what it is you are about to share…

    However, I noticed that there are times when my muse isn’t flowing, or I feel alone, or I feel separate from another – so I observed in myself that I would absolutely LOVE to cultivate an awareness of the One Thing in every moment.

    I went from feeling “welcomed”, to “I probably have tasted this”, to “I’d love to taste more – I’m hungry!”

    Isn’t it amazing that when you ask people for feedback you get “it’s great!” and “it’s terrible!” back to back?!

    My thought is: be as creative and as intentional as you can be – bring your whole self to the writing and sharing – and then REST, knowing that it (the book) will take its intended journey. (Just as a baby comes through two people, and then goes on to live his or her own life.)

    It will land sweetly and well with whomever is truly in your audience. (And if it doesn’t, it still may “stir the pot” for them in a wonderful way.)

    Thank you for sharing with me!!

    I’m going to go for a walk now, and I’ll contemplate the encouragement that I can already feel from the soon-to-come chapters. 🙂



    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:46 pm // Reply

      Heather, this is great and generous and VERY useful feedback. Thanks. I really loved it that you told me everything that happened inside of you.
      looking forward to more talking about it!


  14. Lindsay May 30, 2012 at 7:34 pm // Reply

    Love it Arjuna! So refreshing, this light hearted touch. Who said awakening has to be so serious? Keep it coming!!!!


    • arjunaardagh May 30, 2012 at 7:40 pm // Reply

      thank you, Lindsay!


  15. Ruthieka May 30, 2012 at 8:21 pm // Reply

    This book is going to be jewel.
    I feel the pool, coat, sex doesn’t add and does not address your audience.
    It doesn’t resonate at the same frequency.


    • arjunaardagh May 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm // Reply


    • arjunaardagh May 31, 2012 at 2:18 pm // Reply

      Thanks Ruthieka

      this was my attempt at humor!

      may not work for everyone

      not all of the book is in this style


  16. Marc May 31, 2012 at 9:15 am // Reply

    Yes, I love your party. I am heading for the pool now…

    …ah, here are the others that need a little break, too.
    mmmh, the foreplay took a while, but here I am. Thirsty, and here are the drinks.

    and I want more…


    • arjunaardagh May 31, 2012 at 2:19 pm // Reply

      Welcome, Marc!

      come as you are!


  17. Babs June 1, 2012 at 12:32 am // Reply

    Boy, I’m having a dyslexia problem today. Let me try it again. “I find your writing style refreshing. Totally off the wall and entertaining.” There, I think I have it right this time!


    • Katarina June 1, 2012 at 7:10 am // Reply

      I like your style in this Book.
      As I read I register my own thoughts,
      as if I actually am there, very revealing.
      As Im curious by nature Ill stay


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:41 pm // Reply

      thank you Babs!


  18. Jan B June 1, 2012 at 12:55 am // Reply

    Next time I’ll comment BEFORE I read the other readers’ comments. You have lots of good feedback. I really like the openness of you sharing your draft and getting the opinions. Seems brave to me. I do like the tone and I do want to read more about the seven qualities.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:41 pm // Reply

      thanks Jan!
      yes, next time tell me what you think before you read anyone else!


  19. Karman June 1, 2012 at 1:26 am // Reply

    I like your writing style, you’ve got my attention, I’m anxious for more!
    And, thank you!


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:40 pm // Reply

      thank you Karman!


  20. Hannah June 1, 2012 at 2:57 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,

    I have mixed feelings. Your casual style took me off guard and I am not sure when I will recover. On the other hand, your style just might be more inviting for many who might otherwise shut down with a more esoteric approach. I am thinking of many that I have known. I am willing to bear with your process with hopes that you succeed with flow.



    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:40 pm // Reply

      Hi Hannah
      are you recovered yet?!
      yes, i was wanting to set a tone that is inviting and friendly
      lets see how you like the rest
      all the best!


  21. Germaine June 1, 2012 at 3:02 am // Reply

    Your first chapter is drawing me in. I am enjoying the style. It is kind of like listening to one of your talks.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm // Reply

      thank you, Germaine
      yes, i wrote this from the heart, or the gut
      very unedited!


  22. Gloria June 1, 2012 at 3:04 am // Reply

    Really enjoyed your lighthearted take on this topic. Written sort of tongue-in-cheek yet that only assures me, paradoxically, of the importance of the subject matter. One minor exception were the references to Rolf and Jobs, which detracted more than added anything to the passage. Perhaps needed further development.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:38 pm // Reply

      Great, Gloria!
      i agree about Rolf and Jobs
      that needs to be rethought
      best to you


  23. Janice stephens June 1, 2012 at 3:51 am // Reply

    one thing,what an opener!To express the reason why this book says alot about who you are and the role to teach.missed the tel but hope to caugh the rerun.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:37 pm // Reply

      thanks Janice
      the replay is waiting for you


  24. Katarina June 1, 2012 at 7:18 am // Reply

    I like the style in this book.
    A very inviting and safe place. I feel bald somehow.
    Effective so I choose to stay since Im curious by nature.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:47 pm // Reply

      you felt bald?!
      is that a good thing or a bad thing?!
      i am glad that you felt safe and invited
      all the best, Katarina!


  25. Morgine June 1, 2012 at 7:26 am // Reply


    I found the first part warm and inviting and casual. I encourage people to begin to write in “their own style” as several famous writers did, including Kerowac and Rumi as examples. Just because someone “created” the English language does not mean we have to treat it as perfect or that it might not need some tweaking to inspire our individual Uniqueness. I did find I wanted to know more and it also went on a little too long for me. Like others, I began to want you to “get to the point” after a while.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm // Reply

      thanks Morgine
      i am digesting all the feedback, and will make needed adjustements!


  26. Rebecca June 1, 2012 at 7:36 am // Reply

    I like the personal style.

    There is so much information out there, so many people wanting attention for this or that, and a lot of people these days have information overload and “information fatigue”, all at the same time.

    When you speak out from yourself and share your personal experiences, that catches attention.

    Personally, to me the use of the word “sex” as an attention catcher seems a bit tabloid and I feel a bit repelled by it. There is so much focus om sex in the media, I guess I’m tired of it.

    But still I know what you want to share with us is way too important to let such a detail annoy me for long. I’m curious as to what the seven qualities are and want to start finding out about that. 🙂


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:34 pm // Reply

      thanks Rebecca

      glad that you resonated with the more personal tone

      the sex thing actualy happened quite spontaneously. We were in a seminar in Vienna, and we were asking, how do you experience Awakening. Someone said better than sex. And it stuck!

      thanks for the feedback!


  27. Joy June 1, 2012 at 7:41 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,
    Thank you for this opportunity to review your book.
    I received your email today reminding me to review it and I thought “Oh yes, I wondered why I haven’t, maybe I was bookmarking it for when had more time”, and so I dutifully came here to review and realised that I had read it and hadn’t left a comment because I generally like to encourage rather than discourage people on worthwhile paths. I now remember the frustration as I ploughed on, waiting for some of your wonderful content. Of course you want to draw people in. Perhaps I am not your typical reader. The reference to Steve Jobs and Apple I found out of place for a number of reasons, especially since the same analogy could be applied as “Steve Jobs took existing Windows technology, made it elegant and marketed the pants off it. Very little new here, just packaging”.
    On the positive side, if this chapter consisted only of the little story about creation and the final part about the benefits, leaving commercial references aside, I think it would serve better as a little book of true wisdom.
    More Sun Tzu, less Frank Kern.
    All the best,


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:32 pm // Reply

      Hi Joy
      Thanks for the feedback.

      Much appreciated

      this style is an experiment for me

      i agree about steve jobs and apple

      that needs to be changed

      all the best!



  28. Vanda June 1, 2012 at 8:16 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I’m very happy, that you are sharing your methods with all of us.

    Anyway, this book is beginning with too much bla bla;-))

    Just make the first 7 paragraphs to one. Let us feel a spark of your fire in it and make it chunky.

    ‘ If you are single, the One Thing comes in …’ this is where I start to feel you and I agree to dive into it.

    Big hug



    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:29 pm // Reply

      Thanks, Vanda
      I will consider condensing it, as you suggest
      big hugs!


  29. letitia June 1, 2012 at 8:19 am // Reply

    I do like the informal style, as if you are talking to us. The lead in does have an air of marketing about it. There’s definitely a tension between wanting to ignite interest and feeling that something is being withheld.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:28 pm // Reply

      Yes, Lelitia, the tension is an experiment. thats why i wanted your feedback!


  30. renato blue June 1, 2012 at 10:40 am // Reply

    arjuna, i am in the pool already…where is my drink mate?

    love your experiment… defo better than sex…


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm // Reply

      shaken, not stirred, right?


  31. Tomar Levine June 1, 2012 at 1:14 pm // Reply

    Arjuna, it works for me, delightfully. Not just the humor and lightness, but enjoying your style as a pleasure in itself. And it certainly whets my appetite for the content to come.

    I’m grateful for your “level ground, we’re in this together” assurances, as I’ve been too often in the up/down relationship with teachers, which actually shuts something down inside me, as you observed, subtly reinforces the disempowered part of me. I appreciate you pointing that out on the call.


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm // Reply

      thank you, Tomar, glad you liked the face to face intention!


  32. Carmen June 1, 2012 at 2:11 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna, I’m still smiling with the title as I attended the birth of it in the seminar in Vienna. I like the way of writing – it is like you’re sitting next to me and just talking. I think it will be great to have this book to remember the exercises etc. Looking forward reading more about it. I’m on the way to open up the One Thing better than sex! As I had to honour to meet you and Chameli and got the proof for me the something wonderful is possible for my life and my relationships. Thank you. Bow to you Carmen


    • arjunaardagh June 1, 2012 at 2:19 pm // Reply

      Thank you, dear Carmen!
      Will you be in the training in July in Chimesee?
      all the best!


  33. Lumi June 1, 2012 at 2:30 pm // Reply

    So…. first of all, thank you for sharing this with us, it’s quite refreshing to be invited to enjoy the words that your soul puts on paper! In the beginning, I was intrigued by the style of your book, and I felt a little bit strange, but then I was taken by the flow and I really enjoyed it! I didn’t like the part about Jobs and Rolfing, I believe that it’s not necessary to put it in your book, we all understand what you mean.
    As about the use of the word sex….. yeah, it was too much missused in tabloids, movies, scandals, etc. and it looks like something used here just to catch our attention, but, boy, IT DOES! So I don’t really mind!
    You surely make the reader want to learn more and have a piece of that amazing desert and that tai mai (I never tried it, by the way…), with or without the pool! Cannot wait to read more!


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:13 pm // Reply

      Hi Lumi

      Jobs and Rolfing will go, ok!

      glad you are in the party!


  34. Eloise June 1, 2012 at 2:45 pm // Reply

    Even though I have a guru, and have been meditating for over 30 years, your first chapter has me wanting to see what more you have to say. Granted, I’m an evolutionary junky, and any path to higher consciousness gets my attention, but fun makes it more desirable, and you have a light touch!


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm // Reply

      Great Eloise!


  35. Juan de Dios Garcia June 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm // Reply

    Hello., my English is bad but you are a great writing. Give a expectation for the next chapters and for read the complete book.


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:12 pm // Reply

      You are welcome here!

      puedes venir conmigo si quieres Juan!


  36. Meredith Jones June 1, 2012 at 4:58 pm // Reply

    I felt a bit suspicious as I got further into this first chapter. I have told my husband-who has listened to numerous evolving wisdom kind of talks-that Arjuna doesn’t do any of that “Four keys to Truth”-which really end up being “Take My Course and Then You get Four Keys”. Arjuna doesn’t tease,he actually tells you something,at the same time making it clear that you will learn more during his course or his spoken word recordings….This strays pretty durn close to that teasing bit my friend. But since it is after all the intro to a book,I will overlook that and say that yes,it does make me ready for more.
    Additionally,I really liked the intimate and personal image of sitting out at the pool with you and the wife,talking about One Thing. With the story of the hiding of the One deep within each of us,something within me changed.Then, I felt like I could give you the benefit of the doubt and believe you weren’t just teasing us but were,perhaps,more preparing us for something important to come.
    That’s when I really began to want more:that’s where I became interested in what comes next.
    Carry on!


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:08 pm // Reply

      Great Meredith

      this style of writing you read here is indeed an experiment for me, and a risk

      lets see if it is a good one!


  37. Nancy June 1, 2012 at 8:20 pm // Reply

    Well I am hooked already. I really liked the idea of a party and I imagined after reading the 1st chapter, how great it would be to have a party with all the “One Thing” teachers and coaches. To be able to mingle, listen and participate with any group that I wanted and then mingle with other groups as well. I also enjoyed the story of where the Gods decided to hide the “One Thing”. I began my own personal discovery, craving information on the “One Thing”. The thirst continues to find the tools outside of me to discover what’s been hidden inside.
    I also enjoyed the very last part of chapter one when you talk about what I brought to the pot luck. “I see that you are clutching something very delicious in that container you are holding.” I could actually see the container and was also wondering what was inside. I look forward to the adventure continuing.


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:07 pm // Reply

      great Nancy!

      glad you are enjoying my analogy!


  38. barry June 1, 2012 at 9:05 pm // Reply

    “better than sex”? so you say…now prove it, buddy: go WITHOUT sex for 56 yrs, & get back to me.


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:06 pm // Reply

      it is intended to be humorous!

      i have no intention to go without sex…

      I like it!

      No intention to go without the one thing either….

      thanks Barry!


  39. Marissa June 1, 2012 at 10:39 pm // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,

    Loving the opportunity to participate in your process of writing this book – thank you!

    For me, I enjoy the conversational style and being ‘invited’, like we literally are face to face just chatting. It feels welcoming to have that more personal connection through the ‘lightness’ and humour of your words, and an opportunity to get more insight into you as an individual. Having said that, it feels a little drawn out. I’m curious how this experience might differ for people who have & haven’t been exposed to your writing, or work before.

    I had a feeling of resistance in the long lead up to The One Thing – I felt like I was being sold to. I opened up more with the ancient legend, and really breathed a sigh of relief (and settled in when you said ” This book is all about how to uncover the One Thing that is hidden deep within all of us”. I would’ve loved to read this sentence much earlier on. And I’m wondering how it might read if all the ‘benefits’ of The One Thing (for health, creativity, relationships etc) could be described with a different approach after you’ve revealed we all already have The One Thing inside us.

    For some reason I find myself wishing you wouldn’t mention Facebook and Microsoft etc – I think for me I always love when a book feels ‘timeless’, and something that’s treasured/beautiful etc, and I know when I’ve picked up an older book that references ‘things of that time’, it feels a little off to me, like it loses direct relevance for me in that moment. Does that make sense?

    In terms of flow of writing, there was one particular part that felt clunky to me: “Some people have showed up here who didn’t notice the “than” in the title. ‘You Arjuna?’ they ask me. I admit that I am. “Good, we got the invitation, and we are here to find out about…” Particularly the middle two sentences don’t seem to read correctly?

    I find myself getting confused with your description of what will be covered in the book and how you introduce Awakening Coaching (even though I’m aware of your program). As I read the second & third last paragraphs, I’m getting the message that I’ll learn (1) how I can experience one thing (2) how I can help others experience the one thing (3) the seven qualities for me to help others, and (3) the awakening coaching process. I needed to reread that a few times to get clear..but I’m unsure now – who is this book for, is it really meant for me to experience the one thing or is it for coaches, or is it for everyone? Should the reader want to or need to help others experience the one thing if they are not a coach?

    There’s also a part of me wishing this ‘who this is for’ section was closer to the beginning or a different section all together. I like that it gets to the point with what it’s about, but because your writing tone is different from the earlier parts of the chapter it seems somewhat disconnected from the long introductory ‘conversation’ (like while everyone is playing around the pool at your party, you’ve pulled someone aside for a more serious and different type of conversation!)

    The sections I enjoyed the most were the first two paragraphs, and then from the ancient legend to the end of the chapter.

    I hope this helps, and what a vulnerable and courageous place to be opening yourself to everyone’s feedback! Overall I’m curious (as a reader, a coach, and a writer):about what you have to say, understanding your process, and seeing what unfolds. I’m looking forward to reading more 🙂


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:05 pm // Reply

      Thanks Marissa

      i appreciate the time you put into this…

      glsd you like the humor

      i get your point about the sales pitchiness
      will fix that

      i get your point about the need for clarification for what the book is about and who it is for

      i REALLY found it helpful how you spelled that out, and I will work on it as you suggest

      much appreciation for your time@

      thank you!


      • Marissa June 5, 2012 at 12:10 am // Reply

        you’re welcome! 🙂


  40. Diann June 2, 2012 at 1:21 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,
    I’m feeling up and down while reading this. Intrigued and impatient. Wondering what is coming next and crossing my fingers that it isn’t going to be about your coaching course instead of about “The One Thing”. Or is your coaching program the one thing that is better than sex?


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 4:00 pm // Reply

      Hi Dian


      the blurb on the back of the book will make it clear to people that it is about a relationship that can happen btwn two people, of which our coaching training is one example.

      I try to cover that is this paragraph:

      In this book, I am going to tell you about how to do this in general terms. I am going to describe for you the seven qualities that anyone can develop to become an excellent support to anyone else in this way. But I am also going to make frequent reference to a particular method which we have developed, called Awakening Coaching, which makes these seven qualities activated and available in anyone who wants to use them. This is a little bit like Steve Jobs writing a book about what it takes to create a really great computer, or Ida Rolf writing a book about how to align the body in gravity. They could each write about basic principles, but of course they would end up referencing Apple Computer or Rolfing a good deal as well. I will tell you all that you need to know here about how to bring forth The One Thing in anyone else, and I will also tell you about how we do it using the tools of Awakening Coaching.

      does it need more explanation?


  41. Chris June 2, 2012 at 1:49 am // Reply

    I like the lightheartedness and sense of humor, though maybe emphasizing that this book is “laid back” is not needed. Maybe sense of humor is best when it exposes your or your aquaintences humanness. Like when you recount how people mistook the title, or that you do indeed really like sex.

    The hyping of “the one thing” felt a bit like one of those endlessly long Internet pitches where at the bottom you’re prompted to by something. I’ve read some of your writing before and know you’ve got the goods. Maybe all that not needed.

    Starting with the god myth might be a cool option. Would need to be slightly rewritten.


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 3:57 pm // Reply

      Hi Chris

      I hear ya! Seems that many people made the comparison to a long sales letter!
      we will fix it


  42. Birgit June 2, 2012 at 11:33 am // Reply

    Ok now I have made it to leave a comment after some troubles…

    What I like is that you include the one thing in everything. No matter if you are having a party, or a fight, drinking a cocktail … just available anywhere…

    This information is not new for me, I do have a connection to this energy already, but I always need to be reminded about it, as it is not yet a habit…
    But for some people this information might be even mroe essential, who have no clue yet, how to get in touch with their “higher self”, their “innate divinity”, their “one thing”…whatever you call it.

    I am also curious about what way you suggest to get in touch with it…perhaps it helps me to connect even more with it?

    Anyway after reading this I was inspired – especially the part with the fight, so I tried it out…
    I was very emotional at one point, because my kids drove me crazy and I was shouting and afterwards I felt guilty and I tried to love myself still, but it didn’t work. I, as my personality, could not love what I had done, what I became during this emotional burst out. Then I “relaxed” into my higher being and just let it happen, without doing anything. And suddenly I felt, that this energy loves what is. And I felt loved. That was a great experience!

    I especially like the sentence where you wrote “relaxing into the one thing” – I think that’s the key…

    Well, as for a book chapter, I think it is too short! 😉

    Thanks for sharing…
    Much love


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 3:56 pm // Reply

      Thanks Birgit
      looks like you are resonating!
      Looking forward to your thoughts on chapter 2!


  43. deborah June 2, 2012 at 12:42 pm // Reply

    i like the story within the story best, hiding the One Thing inside, visual..some redundancy in the beginning, but amm intrigued enough to want more.
    The by the pool stuff is bothering me only because it smacks of elitist viewpoint that ..ell is rarely addressed in any of these books etc. The manipulation of economies is real – to pretend else and or ignore this makes for a limited perspective-selfish and counter productive even as yes spirit resides in all, however isn’t the next step about evening out the me with the One? Ok it is the first chapter …and maybe you will cover that:-)


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 3:55 pm // Reply

      Hi Deborah!

      The economies thing is really meant to be a joke! We live quite simply here.

      im glad you liked the story within a story

      best to you



  44. Jasmin June 2, 2012 at 12:43 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I was hooked by the first few sentences and laughed out loud several times during the complete text e.g. the conversation about sex, using capital letters, the facebook link. I enjoyed the humorous and casual writing style and how you approach this topic, this One Thing.
    It is great how you make me so curious that I can’t wait for the party go start – read the next chapter.

    I immediately pictured myself being invited in and I relaxed into just being me and not having to do something. And that I actually bring something, right here, right now, being so involved excites me.

    The passages about “if you have health problems…” and “if you are creative…” and that you are not the first person to write a book about the One thing makes it at that point too long-winded.

    And in the end I was a little irritated by the different writing style, marketing style with regard to Jobs, Rolf and the Awakening Coaching. Do you want to sell something? was the question that arose.

    Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
    Hope this was of some help.
    Much love, Jasmin


    • arjunaardagh June 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm // Reply

      Thank you, dear Jasmin!
      Looks like I will see you in Hamburg soon?
      Im glad you liked the style, and i get your point about long winded and the end. We will fix that!


  45. janice June 2, 2012 at 7:28 pm // Reply

    yes,only way,your to read next thing above sex!


  46. daniella June 3, 2012 at 1:47 pm // Reply

    hi arjuna,
    as a nun for about 30 years i agree that there is somthing better than sex, although for many years it was very difficult to give it up, even in behalf of something better 🙁
    but now i can really enjoy this “better” than sex.
    last year i produced a disk by the name: oneness, made a mixture in hebrew of the 2 words- the english word one and the hebrew word ness which means “miracle”. the disk gathered many parables to show the way to oneness, and the forst one was this story about god who is advised to put the knowledge of who we are inside us, until the time will come that we will find it… so what you wrote resonated with me, and i liked the fluid text, the unformality, the humor and the authenticity of your writing.
    keep going and lead us to the orgastic climex 🙂


  47. daniella June 3, 2012 at 1:50 pm // Reply

    i don’t know what is gravatar….


  48. Sandhan June 4, 2012 at 7:30 am // Reply

    DELIGHTED…. enjoyed your opening chapter very much especially as it is about my number one favourite topic as well…. but when you quoted my all time most loved Zen parable as well, well I am hooked to read more.

    Keep it comin’ please.(Bad pun??)

    So sorry I dropped off the map late last year but had some very dark night of the soul ingredients show up in my life that took precedence over websites and telesummits! Happy to see you have been so creative since you also appear to have been less visible on the net for a few months.

    Would love to promote this book and your message for you. Brave move to ask us all for feedback especially with the ass kicking you took last year with Gaye….

    Want to get a feel for what’s coming next before I critique but have to agree that in places this opener was a bit “pitchy” (which I guess it needs to be on some level) so it took me a while to even understand that this WAS the first chapter and not a blog post which would contain a link to the first chapter..! To me it would make a lot more sense if you called this the preface or intro that sets the scene of what’s coming next…

    Anyway… looking forward to the next installment…Many blessings and much love


  49. Adrienne June 4, 2012 at 6:08 pm // Reply

    Tantalizing read. You have me panting to know the One Thing! There is resistance to giving you feedback…kinda like, “What do I know about writing? How could I possibly help?” But wanting more to find the One Thing that’s deep inside me, I offer my encouragement and applause for your easy relaxed writing style.


  50. Nalini K June 5, 2012 at 7:04 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna- I love your books and writing style. The comments above have covered a lot. I look forward to reading more. When completed, will it be in book form or e- book only? I’d love for it to be a book I could share with people who are unfamiliar with awakening.


  51. Dana June 6, 2012 at 3:47 pm // Reply

    Hi Arjuna

    I have no talent for writing (English is my second language) but I’m an avid reader/ All my life I have been struggling to figure out who I am, why I’m here in this life and how can level with humanity. So I have kept reading every book that I could put my hands on (lately my eyes on the screen)
    Three years ago I have started looking closer into spirituality, psychology, human nature etc having the feeling that I can sense my path (maybe that One Thing you are talking about and not just a banal ‘’middle age crises’’ like the ones around me try to convince of). Anyway like I said I read a lot and I don’t remember how I bumped into some of your short writings/articles on websites.
    Since then I am following your seminars and writing- I enjoy your style very much. Regardless the topic you touch – your way (informal but very deep, humouros in the same time) of presenting a subject always brings a smile on my face and I have the feeling that ‘’hey –that’s so true – I think in the same way yet I don’t know how to put it so nicely in writing’’
    I’m looking forward to reading more


  52. Sharon June 11, 2012 at 5:33 pm // Reply

    I’v been playing with The One Thing for a while. Its taken me inside and out of myself and helped me understand the way things really are.
    I would love to connect with another who gets it as I think I do.
    I would love to hear more of your experience.


  53. Tanmaya June 20, 2012 at 9:49 am // Reply

    Oh great! It looks like a book full of passion for truth, love and authenticity.
    I like the way you write your story and I hope to read more.


  54. christine March 13, 2013 at 4:33 am // Reply

    Hello sir. I have to say that I am completely moved by your first chapter. Those are some of the most beautiful promises that I have every heard anyone give. I, like everyone else, long to feel alive in a way that we have access to whenever we want. A way that is not dependent on the whims of others, or circumstances. I will try to keep my post short for the benefit of all involved. With that in mind, I will get to the point and say that I flat out don’t believe you. I’m so sorry to be so blunt, but there is no point in dancing around. Of course it is not fair of me to say something like that without knowing more about what you are talking about, but you are basically PROMISING the moon and stars. If you are exagerating, you could hurt a lot of people. Of course I hope that you aren’t, and I am curious enough to reply to you in hopes of getting more info.
    I have been to wonderful places inside of myself, through meditation and other tecniques… I have found a happiness and peace that I did not think was possible, but it still does not compare to the feeling of aliveness that I get from some of the experiences of this world, sex included. I would love to find a way to feel alive more of the time, on my own terms. I hope what you have to say will live up to what you have already said.


    • arjunaardagh March 13, 2013 at 4:48 pm // Reply

      thank you Christine
      it is true, i cannot promise you anything whatsoever
      i can promise you that IF you or anyone is willing and able to turn the attention to your own true nature, rather than the shifts of thoughts and feelings
      that these are the qualities you will find
      in my opinion no-one can give this to you, no-one can promise you anything at all
      but still, this is your true nature, waiting to be claimed!


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