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Become the Other

This is an excerpt from my book Leap Before You Look.    When you find yourself courting conflict with another person, Go somewhere alone where you can be undisturbed. Put two cushions down on the bed or on the floor. Sit on one of them and close your eyes. Imagine the other person is sitting before […]

Dropping the Blame Game

A few days ago, I was driving from an appointment in Olympia, Washington, to the airport in Seattle to fly home. It was around 5 o’clock in the evening, but the traffic was surprisingly moving forward fluidly. Just after I passed the Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge, I was on an open stretch of freeway. The […]

The Most Powerful Words

My friend, Jonathan Robinson, loves to tell this delightful story whenever he has the chance. I am not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is fabrication, but either way the story works. As the myth goes, Jonathan heard about a great teacher in India. He was so impressed with […]

Ecstatic Dance

When meditation is not good for you

As I travel from city to city offering Awakening Coaching Intensives, I hear statements from so many people like “I’m not very good at meditation’” or “my meditation does not go very deep,” or “I just sit and there is an endless buzzing of thoughts.” In my opinion, and experience, sitting quietly and watching your […]


Why Do We Avoid our Greatness?

I’ve written eight books so far, and I just came out with the latest one, Better Than Sex. The books that I’ve written previously were a little more erudite, many had footnotes, a long bibliography, and careful references. About a year ago I realized “Hey, I’m in my 50’s, sooner or later I’ve just got […]



Sing the song of this moment, Instead of the chorus of “What Might Happen,” The litanies of “Sometimes” and “On Occasion” and “I Remember.” Sing the song of the perfection of Now. Offer your hand. Deepen your marriage to This Moment.


Tailor-made Practices

I just got back from six weeks traveling and teaching in Europe. I worked on my book in Greece, traveled through Italy with my son and his girlfriend, and taught the Change Agents University retreat with my friend Luis Diaz. My time away culminated in the Awakening Coaching Training in Germany with 44 people from […]


Who Is Here? A practice

Right now, sitting where you are, reading these words, take a few moments to close your eyes and feel your body. Settle yourself . . . relax . . . come fully into this moment. Can you see the print on this page? It is seen, right? But seen by whom? In this very moment, […]


How We Define Ourselves

“Trailing clouds of glory do we come, from God who is our home,” wrote William Wordsworth. As preverbal babies, we experience ourselves as limitlessness. At one with what we see and feel, we have no need to define ourselves. We are both nothing and everything. Then Iago imposes a sense of limitation, of something missing, […]


Enter The Darkness – A practice

Create a room that is perfectly dark.  You might need to tape black plastic over the windows,  And lay a towel at the bottom of the door.  Make it so dark that you can sit with your eyes open  And see not a single chink of light.  Now sit in that darkness, with your eyes […]


Calling Back Judgement: Just Like Me

This practice, from my 2008 book Leap Before You Look, was also featured in the new film Awake in the Dream.  It is short and simple to use, but remarkably effective and transformative.  Try it out, and post your experiences in the space below. Whenever a judgment or evaluation Arises within you, Whether positive or […]


Masculine and Feminine Practice

Last week we finished a weekend seminar  in Vienna: at one time the home of Mozart, Beethoven, Sigmund Freud, Gustav Mahler and many others. My host took me to Theater an der Wien: the oldest opera house in the city, where The Magic Flute and many other great operas had their premiere. Afterwards we went […]


Celebrate Dependency

When you start to feel needy or insecure, celebrate it completely. Ask your partner to sit in a chair or on the sofa, and sit at your partner’s feet for a few minutes. Enter into your fear of abandonment, the need to be loved completely. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me. I beg you. I […]

Getting permission to flow

Maria attended one of our retreats a few years ago. Now in her fifties, she has been practicing meditation, which she had learned from a well-known Indian guru, for more than thirty years. She had a very calm, empty, silent presence. She dressed in plain, very sensible clothes, and her gray hair was cut in […]


What to do when someone is upset with you

Before we go any further you might ask the legitimate question,  “What are your qualifications, Arjuna Ardagh,  to write an article on this subject? Are you a psychologist?” “No, I am not.” “Are you a licensed psychotherapist?” No, also not.” “Do you have a Pd.D. in communications?” “Ummmmm.  No, I’m afraid not.” “So what on […]

Breathe Totally

Notice how you are already breathing in this moment. Is the breath coming more into the upper part of the body? Is it reaching the diaphragm? Or is the breath reaching all the way down to the lower belly? After just watching the way you are breathing for a couple of minutes, Begin to bring […]

Couples Puja

  This is a powerful practice to do with your intimate partner. Once you are awake in the morning, Sit opposite each other on the bed. Take turns doing this practice. Look into one of your partner’s eyes. One of you will go first: When it is your turn Express love, devotion and surrender to […]