Meeting the Beloved

I love you. I need you. I want you. I cannot live without you. All of us at some point in our lives have said or thought words like these. At the time they seem very real, as though this new person is the magical missing ingredient to make us whole. In fact, how did […]

Become the Other

This is an excerpt from my book Leap Before You Look.    When you find yourself courting conflict with another person, Go somewhere alone where you can be undisturbed. Put two cushions down on the bed or on the floor. Sit on one of them and close your eyes. Imagine the other person is sitting before […]

Why We Sabotage What We Most Long For

As a coach and a trainer of coaches, I am very lucky to work with extraordinarily talented, resourceful, brilliant people. I have helped people write movie scripts, write books, develop courses, bring new products to the market, found companies, and much more. Whenever I interview a new client for coaching (which usually lasts for about […]

Communication in the Bedroom

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh.   We have learned that the most important gift a woman can give to a man is to communicate her needs: to find ways to tell him honestly when she wants to have sex, when she wants to be sensuous and cuddle, […]

Dropping the Blame Game

A few days ago, I was driving from an appointment in Olympia, Washington, to the airport in Seattle to fly home. It was around 5 o’clock in the evening, but the traffic was surprisingly moving forward fluidly. Just after I passed the Nisqually National Wildlife Refuge, I was on an open stretch of freeway. The […]

Awakening and Enlightenment

This is an excerpt from my book, Better than Sex.  Many people may wonder: Does this process of Awakening Coaching lead to Enlightenment? Before we can answer this question, we have to have some reference for what this word “Enlightenment” means. It has been used quite freely in English in the last forty years or […]

Why Awakening

Most people who seek out the services of a coach do so because they want to overcome obstacles in their life, or because they want to realize some outcome. People come to a coach to complete a book, to found a company, to overcome procrastination, or to become a more present and caring parent or […]

Be Present with Your Feelings

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, written by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh.    All men have feelings, ranging from shame and humiliation, to anger and outrage, to tenderness and compassion. The primary difference between different men is not what we each feel, but our capacity to be with it and express it in a […]

The Most Powerful Words

My friend, Jonathan Robinson, loves to tell this delightful story whenever he has the chance. I am not sure how much of it is true and how much of it is fabrication, but either way the story works. As the myth goes, Jonathan heard about a great teacher in India. He was so impressed with […]

Other Realization

This is an excerpt from my book Leap Before You Look.    Sit opposite someone close to you. This could be your intimate partner, or a friend. Each of you—look into your partner’s left eye. Look not just at your partner’s eye, but through the eye, Into that which is looking back at you. In this […]

Emotional Endurance Training

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, a book I co-authored with John Gray. As we grow more in conscious masculinity, we discover that we can transform pain into pleasure simply by staying present. The charge of negative emotion dissipates just by holding it and by not resisting it. A man who has learned to […]

Finding the “I”

This is an excerpt from my book Better than Sex.  Awakening is not about changing the content of your experience in any way at all, or even about trying to change your thoughts. Awakening means simply to recognize the Open Secret that is experiencing all of this. In this moment you are hearing sounds, correct? You […]

The Brilliance Cycle

Most likely as you read these words, I will be flying overhead on my way back from Frankfurt, Germany, to my home in California… and my beautiful wife… and my beautiful cat… and my beautiful house. I have been a little homesick this time! If you live in America, go look out the window right now, […]

Growing Through Love

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, a book I co-authored with John Gray.   When your partner does not have so much to give, it is easy to feel resentful, and this can sabotage the relationship. When we learn to let go of that, her occasional judgments and reactions to you are no longer […]

What Is Awakening?

This is an excerpt from my book Better than Sex.   Come down with me now to the basement. Watch your head on the beam there. A few friends are down here, watching a movie together. I know, it smells a little musty down here. It got flooded during a storm a few years back and […]

Get Inspired

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, a book I co-authored with John Gray.   The quickest way to fall into your Conscious Dharma is through inspiration. It happens when you recognize other people who inspire you deeply, and it happens during the moments in your own life when you feel most inspired and alive. This […]