We never Anticipate Resistance
We had an interesting question in the Awakening Coaching Training online course last week that I wanted to share with you. I think it is something we can all really learn from.
The week before, we had all started to experiment with some simple practices that are part of Awakening Coaching. Students in the training do this so they familiarize themselves with practices that they might then want to share with their coaching clients later. These were really simple practices: like every few hours stop for 30 seconds and notice what’s happening in your body, thoughts and feelings. Another one was to take five minutes a day where you devote yourself to completely listening to another person without internal or external distraction. These are very simple practices that are very easy to do, and that require very little time.
One brave and very honest man in the course wrote to me and said he was amazed at how much resistance he encountered in trying to do these practices. Consciously he really wanted to do them. He saw the benefit, he had the time, it was all green lights. But when it came time to do them, he noticed that his mind came up with all kinds of excuses and reasons why it was not possible.
We never really anticipate resistance. It sneaks up on us unexpectedly and takes us completely by surprise. With every new student and client that comes to Awakening Coaching, the first question is always “What is your deeper longing?” We bring no censorship, no judgment about what that question brings. Somebody might say to “fully merge with the light,” or “to be one with all that is.” Someone else will say to “be a great mother to my children.” Someone else might say to “run my company with impeccability.” By “longing” we mean any strong impulse that is coming directly from your essence rather than conditioned by outside forces.
Over so many years of working with people I have discovered that the more you tap into your true and deepest longing, the stronger the resistance will be. Surprising, isn’t it? Here is a really simple example. When I was around 14, some interesting changes started happening in my lower part of my body, and suddenly girls were magically transformed from strange creatures who played hopscotch and liked dolls to gorgeous, sensuous, mysterious creatures of great beauty. Sometimes I would “kinda fancy” a girl: which meant that she seemed okay-ish and it might be fun. Then it was incredibly easy to approach her, ask her casually for a date, and let things go where they would. Just a few times during my teenage years I met a girl I really, really, really, really liked. You get the picture? I mean, I went weak at the knees every time she came by. Then it became incredibly difficult to approach her. Sometimes it would take me months to get the courage. You see? The deeper the longing, the stronger the resistance.
When it comes to the really deep things: like awakening to your true nature, fully giving the love that is in your heart or discovering and giving your unique gift, the longing becomes incredibly strong. These are really “the deepest longings.” So it is not surprising that when we turn our attention to the deepest longing, we also encounter the deepest resistance.
Learning how to anticipate resistance, to integrate it, and to understand where it arises from, is probably the most important key to becoming a whole, loving, sane, conscious human being.
All the best