When someone comes for Awakening Coaching, they have already become, to some degree, disconnected from themselves. I don’t mean disconnect from their personal story, they are probably over connected with that. I mean that they have become disconnected from who they truly are. That is the standard setting for most people: they have some degree of disconnection from their true nature as limitless consciousness, as limitless creativity, as limitless love.
The life that we are living is, more or less, a dream that is being created out of ourselves. If we completely, totally understood, at every level of our being, that this is true, then the possibility of complaint would just disappear. We realize that everything we experience is the manifestation of a thought, of a desire, is a manifestation of consciousness. It is so rare that people are fully living this recognition, and they probably would not be coming for coaching if they were. So we are often living as victims of circumstances that appear to be beyond our control. It might be that there is a condition in the body that seems to be out of control. It might we feel like we are the victim of a relationship. Of course we forgot that we chose the relationship, and that we participated in creating the relationship. We forget what we have chosen in previous moments.
We might feel that we are the victim of difficult financial circumstances, but of course we forget that we made all kinds of choices along the way to create the financial circumstances that we have. So to one degree or another, everybody that comes for coaching feels like “this is happening to me,” rather than “I am creating it.” They come with a list of things that are not working in their life. “Oh I have the wrong marriage,” “I don’t have a relationship and I want one,” “my health isn’t good…”
We may have intellectually or cognitively accepted that we are responsible to some degree for the way things are, that our thoughts and unconscious drives are responsible for the quality of our life. But that recognition has probably not gotten permeated all the way through.
At the beginning of the coaching process, the first important step, is get clear about four basic questions:
Question 1- What are your bigger dreams? In other words, if you did not have these limitations, if you did not have these unconscious sabotaging mechanisms, what is the dream you came to live?
Question 2- What gets in the way? What are the habits and the beliefs, the limiting behaviors and attitudes, which prevent you from living the life that really feels right to you?
Question 3- What are your strengths? People are not made up of just limiting beliefs. People have strengths. People have love, friendship, loyalty, all kinds of good things that make them good people.
Question 4- What do you actually want to get out of 8-10 weeks of coaching? There is a distinction between 1 and 4. #1 may take a lifetime to live out, #4 is what we are going to do in 8 weeks.
#1 may be “I want to have a family, a lifetime partner, a bunch of kids, and live on an organic farm in the county.” That is a great lifetime goal. Somebody else might say “I want to make an incredible movie and win an Oscar.” That is a great goal. But we are not going to do that in 8 weeks.
#1 might be “I’m single right not but I want to have a great relationship and a bunch of kids.” Then #4 might be “I want to release all barriers to attracting my mate so I feel really ready and open.” That is a realistic goal for #4, but we still want #1 expressed.
That is the first thing we do in coaching, and we do not want to skip that, or do it quickly. It is a very deep process to help people get clear about those four questions. It may take the whole of the first session to do that.
The second step is to help someone reconnect, on a regular basis, with their true nature as limitless consciousness. We want to help the person to come into direct experiential recognition of that which they truly are has no limits, no boundaries, was never born, can never die.
The third thing we want to do is to start to work with those barriers that get in the way of what they really want. Many of them were listed in Question 2, but we are going to get more of them by talking about what they want and listening to what they say.Maybe they say, “I want to be married and have children and live on an organic farm in the country.” So if we talk about that a little bit, we’ll find that there are lots of attitudes that get in the way. Let’s say there is a man who we’re talking to. He says “I can’t trust women, I am wounded, I don’t have enough money, I don’t think women are attracted to me…” He could come up with 30 different stories he is telling himself about why he cannot have what he most longs for. If someone did not have these stories, they would already have what they long for. Inevitably, there is what they long for, and also the invisible barriers.
As we continue through the coaching, we get more and more familiar with the space of Clear Seeing. That means, the space that is revealed as we clear more transparent beliefs. You could, theoretically, have Clear Seeing about everything, and we do have moments like that. But we are not aiming for that right away. We are aiming to come to Clear Seeing around a particular issue or decision. Where you take the issue or decision: “Should I leave my marketing job, and move more into being a teacher and a guide, or not?” That is a clear decision. When it comes to actually saying yes or no, that is where all these points of view bubble up to the surface to be liberated.