The Translucent View

Before we go any further you might ask the legitimate question,  “What are your qualifications, Arjuna Ardagh,  to write an article on this subject? Are you a psychologist?” “No, I am not.” “Are you a licensed psychotherapist?” No, also not.” “Do you have a Pd.D. in communications?” “Ummmmm.  No, I’m afraid not.” “So what on [...]

We’re coming up on Valentine’s Day, which is a time when all of us give a little extra nurturing to intimate relationship. If you’ve been married for 40 years, this might be a time to express your gratitude for all that’s been shared. If you’re newly together, this is the season to commit more deeply. [...]

Here’s a passage from my book Leap Before You Look.When your partner or anyone close to you is speaking to you, Whether telling you a story, lodging a complaint, or sharing a feeling, Give your undivided attention. Listen with all of you: With your ears, with your heart, with your skin, with your breath. Pay [...]

“I love you.” “I hate you.” “I need you.” “I want space from you.” “I resent you.” “I’m curious about you.” We make statements similar to these all the time in all types of relationships. When we speak in this way, it makes it sound as if there are fixed things called an “I” and  [...]

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed: “I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage [...]