Tag Archives: Relationships

Let Him Walk Away

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, written by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh. When men are in pain, the first tendency is often to withdraw and pull away. It is the primitive reaction of fight or flight. If a man feels trapped, instinctively he moves into defense or even into attack. So if you […]

She Talks, You Listen

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, written by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh. We have both seen, again and again, that a woman feels more relaxed, more loved and more connected when she can speak freely about her feelings and her man can listen to her. It is not always easy or automatic for […]

Deep Listening

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, written by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh. There are many dimensions to listening. One is just like the sky: to be still and receive. Simply listening to someone sharing challenges and issues may in itself be the solution that is required. Particularly for a woman, when she feels […]

Become the Other

This is an excerpt from my book Leap Before You Look.    When you find yourself courting conflict with another person, Go somewhere alone where you can be undisturbed. Put two cushions down on the bed or on the floor. Sit on one of them and close your eyes. Imagine the other person is sitting before […]

Communication in the Bedroom

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh.   We have learned that the most important gift a woman can give to a man is to communicate her needs: to find ways to tell him honestly when she wants to have sex, when she wants to be sensuous and cuddle, […]

Be Present with Your Feelings

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, written by John Gray and Arjuna Ardagh.    All men have feelings, ranging from shame and humiliation, to anger and outrage, to tenderness and compassion. The primary difference between different men is not what we each feel, but our capacity to be with it and express it in a […]

Other Realization

This is an excerpt from my book Leap Before You Look.    Sit opposite someone close to you. This could be your intimate partner, or a friend. Each of you—look into your partner’s left eye. Look not just at your partner’s eye, but through the eye, Into that which is looking back at you. In this […]

Growing Through Love

This is an excerpt from Conscious Men, a book I co-authored with John Gray.   When your partner does not have so much to give, it is easy to feel resentful, and this can sabotage the relationship. When we learn to let go of that, her occasional judgments and reactions to you are no longer […]

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Listening is its Own Best Reward!

This is an excerpt from my new book: Conscious Men, which I have co-authored with John Gray. Here are a few of the unconscious habits we have inherited from our ancestors that may get in the way of deep listening. Once again, there is no need to go into a battle with them. Mindfulness is the […]

Give What You Hope To Receive

Here is a practice you can use right away, from my book “Leap Before You Look.” When you notice yourself wanting something from your partner, Stop and label it. I need your respect; I need you to clean up after yourself; I need you to notice how much I do for you. Once you become […]