Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman

A few days ago, after a particularly exquisite evening with my wife Chameli, I put this post up on Facebook before going to bed:

Picture by: Fredrick Lord Leighton

“I have had many, many great teachers in my life. A super abundance. No one and nothing comes close to the woman who is now asleep in the bedroom. My marriage has become the guru, the salvation, the muse, the crack through which the divine shines through.”

When I woke up the next morning, there were the usual offerings of people who liked the post as well as comments. One man had the vulnerability and courage to post this on Facebook: “Thank you Arjuna for this sharing, I feel like [I’m] in front of a choice which is between feeling envious of what you have and I don’t, or instead to decide that ‘I want that too,’ and, as you show, it is possible…” I was touched.

Over the next days, I got several more messages like this from men: vulnerable men, honest men, rare and courageous men. They came in as private messages on Facebook or through our website, and they all said basically the same thing: “I read your Facebook post. I want what you have. Show me how to get it.”

So, friends, here it is. The short guide on how to worship a woman, and why it’s the wisest thing that a man can do.

First of all, lets pop a few very understandable doubts that you might have. I’m familiar with all of them.

1.    “I’m wounded and damaged in my relationships to the feminine.” So am I, dear brother, so am I. My parents divorced in a messy way when I was four. I grew up alone with my mother. She did her very best to provide for me, but she was unhappy and insecure. By the time I started to have relationships with women myself in my early teens, I discovered that I had a mountain of resentments, fears, and separation in my relation to the feminine.  The conscious practice of worship can become a part of healing the wounds.

2.    “Arjuna, you’re lucky. You’ve got an incredible partner. I’m together with a woman who’s not like Chameli.” I really don’t have the ultimate answer to that doubt or question. It certainly could seem to be the case that I’ve been lucky in finding a great woman, but here’s how it happened for me. I’ve had a lot of less lucky connections in my life. I’ve experienced my share of the manipulative side of the feminine: the victim, the rageful, the revengeful. And I have seen the ugly side of the masculine psyche in myself.  A few weeks prior to meeting Chameli, my wife, something deep and profound shifted in me, which I believe can shift for anyone in the same way.

3.    “I don’t have a partner at all, and I sometimes doubt if I’ll ever meet anybody.” Being with a partner where worship is not flowing, or not being with a partner at all, are basically two aspects of the same situation: you’ve had an intuition or a glimpse of the possibilities of a deeper love, and you want more of it. The solutions are the same.

4.    “I feel my heart is closed down. I live in my head a lot, and I wouldn’t even know what worship was if it broke into my house at 2 o’clock in the morning and held me at gunpoint.” That’s where the whole thing starts for all of us, when we realize that we don’t yet know how to love. And that’s that the big question that you have to consider: “Is that okay with me?” Never mind how much money you make, or how many friends you have on Facebook, no matter how nice a house you live in, or no matter how big a car you drive, no matter how impressive your partner’s bust size, or how much you meditate and become spiritual… have you loved for real, in a total and undefended way? If not, and here’s where you have to be honest with yourself, is that OK with you? Is it OK to die one day without the heart’s gift having been fully given? Eight or nine years ago, I came to that question in myself, exactly that, and I discovered that the answer was, if I was was raw and vulnerable and uncomplicated, that it was actually not OK. If I died one day without having fully loved, it would not have truly been a life well lived.

Many many years ago, I went to Bali for a vacation, on my own. I met up with some other young travelers there and we hired a Jeep to take us on a tour of the island. We drove up right to the highest point of the island, where Tourists don’t usually go. Our guide took us to one of the most sacred temples. It was surrounded by a big brick wall with an ornate entrance. After removing our shoes and wrapping scarves around our heads, we stepped together through this entrance.

Inside, there was a short courtyard and then another brick wall with another entrance. After more preparations of lighting incense and giving offerings, we stepped through the second entrance. We were allowed to go through the opening in one more wall, but that was it. All together there were ten walls around the deity in the middle. Hindus could go beyond the fourth wall. Devotees of that particular deity could go beyond the fifth wall, and so it went on. The only people allowed to approach the deity directly were those who had given their lives completely and totally to its worship. Everyone else could come a little closer, a little closer, to the innermost beauty, but not all the way to the center.

I’m not a big believer of the worship of statues, but there’s a beautiful symbolism to what I saw there, because a woman’s heart is just like that. At the essence of every woman’s heart is the divine feminine. It contains everything that has ever been beautiful, or lovely, or inspiring, in any woman, anywhere, at any time. The very essence of every woman’s heart is the peak of wisdom, the peak of inspiration, the peak of sexual desirability, the peak of soothing, healing love. The peak of everything. But it’s protected, for good reason, by a series of concentric walls.

To move inwardly from one wall to the next requires that you intensify your capacity to devotion, and as you do so, you are rewarded with Grace. This is not something you can negotiate verbally with a woman. She doesn’t even know consciously how to open those gates herself. They are opened magically and invisibly by the keys of worship.

If you stand on the outside of the outermost wall, all you have available to you, like many other unfortunate men, is pornography. For $1.99 a minute, you can see her breasts, maybe her vagina, and you can stimulate yourself in a sad longing for deeper love. Step though another gate, and she will show you her outer gift-wrapping. She’ll look at you with a certain twinkle of her eye. She’ll answer your questions coyly. She’ll give you just the faintest hint that there is more available. Step through another gate with your commitment, with your attention, with the small seedlings of devotion, and she’ll open her heart to you more. She’ll share with you her insecurities, the way that she’s been hurt, her deepest longings.

Some men will back away at this point. They realize that the price they must pay to go deeper is more than they are willing to give. They start to feel a responsibility.  But for those few who step though another gate, they come to discover her loyalty, her willingness to stick with you no matter what, her willingness to raise your children, stick up for you in conversation, and, if you are lucky, even pick up your dirty socks now and then.

And so it goes on. You’ve got the gist by now. Somewhere around the second wall from the center, she casts the veils of her personality aside, and shows you that she is both a human being and also a portal into something much greater than that. She shows you a wrath that is not hers, but all womens’.   She shows you a patience that is also universal. She shows you her wisdom. At this point you start to experience the archetypes of women, who have been portrayed as goddesses and mythological figures in every tradition.

Then, at the very center, in the innermost temple itself, all the layers of your devotion are flooded with reward all at once. You discover the very essence of the feminine, and in a strange way that is not exactly romantic, but profoundly sacred all the same, you realize that you could have got here with any woman if you had just been willing to pass through all the layers of initiation. Any woman is every woman, and every woman is any woman at the same time. When you love a woman completely, at the very essence of her being, this is the one divine feminine flame. It is what has made every woman in history beautiful. It’s the flame behind the Mona Lisa, and Dante’s Beatrice, and yes, also Penelope Cruz and Heidi Klum. You discover the magic ingredient which has lead every man to fall in love with a woman. When you learn how to pay attention to the essence of the feminine in this way, you fall to the floor in full body prostration, tears soaking your cheeks and clothes, and you wonder how you could have ever taken Her, in all of Her forms, for granted even for a second.

So just a couple small questions remain.

First, do you get what I’m talking about? Does it jive for you? Does it make sense? And second, if yes, how are you going to get from where you are now to being able to the full capacity of your heart to love for real? I’d be glad to share more about this if we get to know each other better, but here’s how you get started.

First, do what I did, and create an altar in your room dedicated to Divine Feminine. Put only symbols of the feminine on it. I have a painting called “Beatrix” by Dante Gabriel Rossetti.  I have a statue of Quan Kin. Populate your altar with anything that reminds you of the feminine, and spend a few minutes of the day in worship. Yes, worship. Adoration. Devotion. Offer up rose petals. Offer poems. Offer everything, and beg Her to reveal Her innermost essence to you. This will work miracles whether you’re single and waiting to meet the right woman or whether you’re already in relationship and long to meet your woman in a deeper way.

The second way to get started: make a practice, a discipline, of telling your woman, or any woman, ten times a day something which you adore about her. “I love the smell of your shampoo.” “I love the way you laugh.” “The color of your eyes is so beautiful.” Of course, you need to keep it appropriate. You can go as far out on a limb as you like if you’re in relationship with a woman, but with anyone else remember the gates. Keep you communication appropriate to the gate number that you find yourself at. Appreciation the curve of a woman’s breast, for example, if she happens to be the cashier at the supermarket, would equate more to harassment than worship.

So here’s enough to get started. Of course, there’s a lot more we can say about this. Feel free to post your comments below, and I’ll use them as the foundation for future blogs.

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170 Responses to “Why It Is Wise to Worship a Woman”

  1. Shivani July 20, 2010 at 6:57 pm // Reply

    brilliant!

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:59 pm // Reply

      thank you!

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      • Ramnath December 14, 2011 at 9:31 pm // Reply

        Arjuna Bahia, beautiful! i love what you wrote about worshiping the feminine. beautiful.. thank you! much love
        Ramnath.

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  2. Shioura July 20, 2010 at 9:17 pm // Reply

    Much truth you’ve articulated beautifully!

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:05 pm // Reply

      love! and thank you for your appreciation!

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  3. Ann July 20, 2010 at 10:00 pm // Reply

    This is gorgeous and profound, Arjuna! You are a magnificent soul with great courage to delve so deeply (“highly”?) into the Divine Feminine – and then speak to us with such lucidity about Something / Someone so sacred.
    Namaste’,
    Ann

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  4. Shachar July 20, 2010 at 10:01 pm // Reply

    Arjuna, I’m assuming you are unaware of the content of the Google ads at the bottom of your blog saying:

    Ukrainian Woman
    Dazzling Ukrainian Women. Close to Your Heart. Deep in Your Mind.
    AnastasiaDate.com

    That’s probably not what you mean by worshiping women, right?

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:04 pm // Reply

      Well, Shachar, I was NOT aware of the ads! Not sure what we can do about it, so lets do what we enjoy the most, and laugh out loud at the outrageous absurdity of life!

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  5. Margaret July 20, 2010 at 10:08 pm // Reply

    Oh Arjuna, now I better remember who I am. Beautifully written, true, and very helpful.

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:09 pm // Reply

      I wrote it for you!

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      • Margaret July 21, 2010 at 2:46 am // Reply

        bless you, my friend, and the work you do. i just got back to reading your “Leap Before You Look” as my morning meditative reading, love it.

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  6. Toni King July 20, 2010 at 10:12 pm // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,

    My goodness, I’ve never come across a male with such a healthy respect, admiration and understanding of women.
    Is there an available clone of you somewhere? :)

    Your Deeper Love retreat sounds awesome, I’m certain that the awareness that you share with others will radiate thru to creating magical relationships. You are in a sense freeing males of their inhibitions, insecurities, ego, and defenses.
    This is awesome.

    Thanks for sharing.

    In Light and Love
    Toni King

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:44 pm // Reply

      Thank you Toni for the kind words. Please feel free to share it with whoever may benefit…

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  7. biren July 20, 2010 at 10:16 pm // Reply

    arjuna,
    amazing!

    and thats the only thing i am left capable of saying… in this moment.

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  8. Morgine July 20, 2010 at 10:40 pm // Reply

    Arjuna,

    As always, you are a true master at painting words across the page infused with enough magic we can engage in the visions you share with us.

    I do believe we cannot see or experience what does not first live inside of us, or we would not recognize it. What you shared so beautifully did not arise in the outer, it sprang forth from your own inner Being touching once again, truth and wisdom perhaps buried by old habitual patterns and ways of Being. When you rise into your own Brilliance and own your own magnificence and beauty, then you can call forth that in another. And you have a partner so that you can see “the reflection” of your own beauty in them.

    Seeing your beloved this way, calls forth these parts of her to share with you, because you recognize and honor them. There are two sides to the Dance and your beloved wife Chameli, I am sure, calls forth the Brilliance in you as well, recognizing and calling forth parts of her beautiful self to be witnessed in you as a reflection of herself.

    Namaste, Morgine

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    • Arjuna Ardagh July 20, 2010 at 10:59 pm // Reply

      thank you dear friend! So sweet always to connect!

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  9. (r)Evolutionary July 20, 2010 at 11:36 pm // Reply

    Arjunah,
    Allow me to be a voice of dissent here, on behalf of the masculine portion of your gentle readership.
    I think the essence of this post is a beautiful intention, a beautiful practice for a spiritual man to bestow upon a worthy spiritual woman.
    Unfortunately, there are *very* few of women like your wife left. For the average American female, especially those currently in their 20’s & 30’s, a man ‘worshiping’ her in this manner is the quickest way to drive her away and lose her respect. Perhaps that is what is warranted, but then, the dearth of good women would leave a man bereft. Bereft, perhaps he is better off, for a good man should not cast his pearls before swine, and that’s exactly what would be happening if the average young American man worshiped the average young American woman in this manner, he would be casting pearls before swine.
    I would agree with the idea of worshipping a woman as described in your post IF a given woman had earned the respect and love of the man doing the worshipping. Even then, men must to be aware of the shifting nature of the Divine Feminine. She may choose to leave at any time, she may not feel attraction, she may lose her feelings of ‘being in love.’ This is what happens when sexual polarity is lost. We as men must maintain the connection to our Divine Masculine in greater measure to that of our Divine Feminine. Certainly we need both, but being male, we need to dwell within and cultivate our Divine Masculine qualities in order to maintain sexual polarity, the seed of attraction, a prerequisite for divine union.
    Too many men, especially spiritual men, begin worshiping the feminine, pedestalizing it, and often renounce the masculine in the process. This is a mistake, and it leads men to the loss of self-confidence, self-respect, and ultimately, the loss of sexual polarity and love.
    So perhaps right next to your Divine Feminine altar, a Divine Masculine altar should be constructed as well, one that honors with devotion and love the seed of the Masculine within,
    Warmly, and without reservation,
    the (R)Evolutionary.

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    • Morgine July 21, 2010 at 11:16 pm // Reply

      (R)Evolutionary,

      Life is a reflection. I can say without hesitation, without even knowing you, that I doubt you deeply know more than perhaps 20 women at the depth we are talking about here. I will give you the benefit of the doubt and say 100, to be amusing. Considering there are over 6 billion people on this beloved planet, you cannot possibly truly “know” that there are few women like this left.

      It takes a full and open heart to love without conditions. As Krisnamurti said “Using another as a means of satisfaction and security is not love. Love is never security; love is a state in which there is no desire to be secure; it is a state of vulnerability.” YOU must be willing to be totally and completely vulnerable, open, with nothing to hide, before you can really discover the kind of woman Arjuna is describing. You then become mirrors for each other. Like energies attract.

      If we are all “One” … if we are all extensions of the Divine experiencing itself as Everyone and Everything… then perhaps we are only ” the Divine worshiping the Divine” in each other? What a beautiful world it would be if we could each see through all our patterns and veils into the “essence ” of everyone we meet and greet. Then from the place of our own loving Brilliance, we could inspire the Brilliance from inside everyone we engage with! We call forth their authenticity, their true nature and give that permission to seek the light of day, side by side, celebrating our differences!

      Thank you for sharing, and I assure you there are thousands of incredible women out there and thousands of beautiful men like Arjuna and you … only need to meet One.

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    • HRH Devi July 23, 2010 at 1:46 am // Reply

      Keep working it, (r)Evolutionary, … some cynicism and resignation and armoring has crept into your heart. I understand the situation you describe. Yes, there are a lot of bratty little girls out there who are basically narcissistic and self-absorbed teenagers, regardless of their chronological age. They will not recognize a Real Man, especially the mature masculine. It’s very true, Arjuna is certainly not describing the ‘average’ women out there (a 20- or 30-something in American culture), and neither is the ‘average man’ even close to the embodiment of the mature masculine that this divine and mature feminine seeks as her mate. Given what’s gone down in the last several decades, men are understandably confused, many are in a dazed and confused quandry of semi emasculation, or just plain pissed off as hell, when it comes to women and intimate relationships.

      But for a man who has done his share of psychological and spiritual work, who is on mission and radically responsible for generating his own life experience, who has a discriminating eye and heart, who looks beyond the purely physical for true radiant feminine essence with its unmistakable shimmer and powerful glow, there are many mature (consider looking over 40) and realized women who deeply understand sexual polarity and have deep appreciation, respect and gratitude for the gifts of the masculine – and the patriarchy. I know things are a little out of balance right now, AND we all have a role to play in restoring the balance, if we choose to contribute and take that on. Perhaps the best place for each of us to start is looking under our own chair … uh, throne. A King will recognize the Queen, a Queen will recognize the King. Keeping noble company with noble people and noble activities, many noble women abound -including some available ones.

      Echoing here what Morgine has beautifully stated: We noblewomen have a saying: Kings are like parking spaces … you only need ONE. And so it is as well if you are seeking a True Queen. Such a women is 1 in 1000.

      HRH Devi

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      • madbluewings July 29, 2010 at 8:05 pm // Reply

        Very beautiful, HRH! *bowing*

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      • HRH August 5, 2010 at 2:45 pm // Reply

        To The Right Noble Lady MadBlueWings,

        The Office of Her Royal Majesty transmits abundant blessings and appreciation to you for upholding the nobility of all in the domains that you frequent. All passing through Arjuna’s noisy den of woman worship and blowback … are richly blessed by your presence.

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      • madbluewings August 12, 2010 at 11:17 am // Reply

        Dearest HRH Devi, again, really the best I can do is bow, and look into your eyes with recognition…

        I think we ought to know each other, if we do not already (well, we do, but you know what I mean). If you are so moved, click on my name above. You will find means to contact me there. Much love.

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  10. Mikael July 20, 2010 at 11:49 pm // Reply

    Wow! Thank you so much for this post. It really hit me deep!

    Love
    Mikael

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  11. Nadine July 21, 2010 at 12:26 am // Reply

    Awe-&-some!
    Now, that’s how every man should see a woman! Thank you, Arjuna! The world would be entirely different if we all saw each other in the same manner. I am sure you are very blessed indeed.

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  12. Joe in Maui July 21, 2010 at 12:33 am // Reply

    Wow! I so needed to hear this…After 15 years wed to my wife I had all but forgotten how deeply I felt a heart connection to her before the chaotic trivialities we call life kicked in and left us with kids, mortgage, and layers of pain and blame that have left us sleeping back to back when we used to spoon. I am crying now, and am so glad that you have given me this chance to remember how much I cherish her for being my Mother, daughter, sister, lover, wise Grandmother and best friend all in one. I think I will try spooning again tonight in a soft gentle, caring way.
    Aloha,
    Joe

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  13. Mushin July 21, 2010 at 1:07 am // Reply

    When I read the headline I felt like saying, “Just going through breaking up with a woman I’ve been with for 7 years, and I couldn’t be further from worshipping any woman evermore. First they’ll break your heart and then they’ll gut you…”
    But then I read the article, and here I sit with wet eyes… Do I want to go the way you propose? I don’t know. Doesn’t feel appropriate right now to start to worship the divine feminine, again. But it reminded me of the few occasions I’ve been allowed deep into the temple, where personalities are long forgotten…

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  14. Tom Lidström July 21, 2010 at 1:23 am // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna. This was the most beautiful reminder I could have gotten this day – this year actually. Very touched. Love to you and Chameli! /Tom

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  15. Djuna Van der Borgt July 21, 2010 at 1:24 am // Reply

    Thank you both for your wonderful example!
    I happened to run into this appropriate quote:

    ‎”When man is not ready, he cannot be lover; his fullness must be full. But woman’s emptiness is always waiting.” ~ The Tao

    Grateful <3

    Djuna

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  16. Nicole Lawrence July 21, 2010 at 2:38 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna;

    This is a lovely article – thank you!

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  17. Sanjoy July 21, 2010 at 3:09 am // Reply

    That was a great post!!Much food for thought and action!!

    Thanks for sharing so lucidly. Maybe the same holds for the Divine Male.

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  18. Clinton Callahan July 21, 2010 at 3:16 am // Reply

    Ahhhh, Brother Arjuna!
    You’ve hit my heart with your arrow. I’ve been so entranced with the worship of Woman that it produced a handbook for the journey to the center of that temple. Radiant Joy Brilliant Love, it’s called. Please use all of it without even thinking about copyright protection. There are so few willing (or able) to lead people to the heart of the labyrinth. When the man puts his attention on his woman she remembers the way to the heart of the labyrinth and can lead the man home. But what man has his attention? This book is about that.
    All the best to you!
    Clinton Callahan

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  19. Nushin July 21, 2010 at 3:25 am // Reply

    Arjuna,
    thank your for sharing your wonderfull thougts with us!

    Wow, yes, that´s it!

    And for me, beeing a woman, its interesting to take what you wrote and to turn it into the other direction.
    After reading i thought of creating an altar dedicated to Divine Masculine. But my first thought was: what exactly are the attributes of the divine Masculine? I first have to find my own answers. I think, my problem of beeing single for so long time, is that i always try to be both, masculine and feminin, so that there is no space left beside me for a Partner to come into my life.

    It could be helpfull to first try to seperate the attributes, and to give both parts the right place. Wich means for me, to keep the feminin inside and to put the masculine outside. May be in the first step “outside” could mean to create an Altar (O;

    So i will try to do it!

    Thank You a lot!

    Love to You,
    Nushin from Hamburg

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  20. Max Browne July 21, 2010 at 3:54 am // Reply

    Thank you. This gift has come at a perfect time for me.

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  21. jillian July 21, 2010 at 4:45 am // Reply

    thank you so much for this, Arjuna. Gorgeous and humbling to read. Now, how do I share this with my beloved husband in a way that doesn’t offend him or make him feel like I’m being critical of him in any way… hmm. Any ideas about that?
    blessings,
    Jillian

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  22. Janet July 21, 2010 at 5:20 am // Reply

    Hi Arjuna,
    I posted your share on my FB page and wrote the below to you but I do not know if you were able to see it. So, I post again here.

    “Okay this is share day. Dear Arjuna, thank you for these beautiful words. I cried when reading. I have already shared my love for your beautiful Goddess Chameli today and now I share that same love with you as well. I feel so blessed to have been in your presence along with Chameli. You are a Beautiful Man. Thank You.”

    It is so wonderful to hear everyone’s response to your post. I attended your Deeper Love with Chameli a few years ago and did the alter for the Divine Masculine and then I attracted a Jesus into my life mixed with a little of Ramana Maharshi, Maharaji (Prem Rawat), Ganesh, Kuan Yin, and the Buddha. Thank goodness I put the Shiva Lingum there too as he appeared in human form and was available to be a lover and to be loved. Thank you again and again.
    :)).

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  23. Jan Lanning July 21, 2010 at 5:47 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    Thank you for expressing what men need to hear. If we all honor each other and allow our partner to be who they are, our relationships can grow into the kind of rapture you speak of.

    There is one man in my life who knows how to “worship” a woman the way you described. He knows a secret about women that most men I’ve ever met have no clue.

    My ex husband was a nice enough man – around other people. But at home, he would cut me off, hurt me with cynical comments, never wanted to sit in a quiet place and talk or look me in the eye. It was as if he absolutely would not want to go into that deep holy place. He was not interested in showing me that he felt I was important in his life. I almost felt that being a woman was a dirty thing in his eyes. Of course now I know that he doesn’t like people because he doesn’t love himself.

    On the other hand, I met a man who has put me up on a throne for over 25 years. He always makes time to sit and talk with me and look me in the eye. He makes an effort to not be afraid to be honest, to allow me to be feminine and beautiful or to be angry and crazy. I know he will be there for me even it means his life is in danger. By seeing what is there and acknowledging that he sees me in such a loving way, I feel like a Queen. His Queen.

    My lover is a strong man – physically, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. I feel that I’m surrounded by complete “male”-ness when I’m with him. We balance each other – yin and yang.

    The secret my lover (of 25 years) contains is this. Love your woman no matter what. Take time to enter her heart. Swim in that swirling place and forget about time. There is nothing more important than relationship with another. Let her know that she means something to you by being with her, unconditionally. Whatever you give, you will receive back a thousand times more. Honor the humanity in this woman. Honor her intellect and her courage and her femininity. Also honor yourself.

    I could say so much more but I’ll have to write a book on this subject. Thank you for giving me a place to speak about a subject I’ve wanted to make public for years.

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  24. linda July 21, 2010 at 5:54 am // Reply

    The timing of receiving this is perfect, an answer to an unspoken prayer for guidance

    Thank you

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  25. Michael Golzmane July 21, 2010 at 6:01 am // Reply

    Thank you so much my friend! This is absolutely beautiful…and we need more men like you holding up the cause of honoring and worshiping women.

    Many Blessings to you!
    —-Michael

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  26. Linda Savitz July 21, 2010 at 6:06 am // Reply

    Arjuna,
    So beautifully written!
    Thank you for being,
    Thank you for posting this
    profound truth.
    Blessings Be
    Linda

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  27. Tom Cau July 21, 2010 at 6:12 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    Wonderful article. God bless you.

    I`m a little bit sad because Google Ads inserted an ad inside of your page entitled “Date Sexy Brazilian Woman”. I saved a pdf copy of your blog page with this ad, if you want see it.

    I tried to sent it to you, but and don’t have your email.

    Love,

    Tom Cau

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  28. daniella July 21, 2010 at 6:13 am // Reply

    dear arjuna,
    as you already exhibit in such freedom your relationship with shamili, my advise is let’s go a little farther and open a new website in the name: ‘arjumili’ which purpose will be meetings between new coupls that want to live like you. male who want and can behave like you, arjuna, will meet woman who want and can behave like shamili, and once we will meet each other we will build a new community of mutual worshipers.
    that will be an original way of meeting on a similar background and interest, and possibilities. like it????

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  29. Michaela Albrecht July 21, 2010 at 6:42 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    I thank you soooo much for that wonderful article! I am touched to tears to the ground of my heart to encounter so much true and deep appreciation from a man. If I have some free time I would like to translate this in German, if you don’t mind.

    All women must read this – it’s a substitute for the love so many of us can’t receive (fortunately, I receive enough – but there is always space for improvement :-DD). It meets our need for recognition and appreciation so much.

    And it meets also the need for appreciation of men: to appreciate somebody is always the appreciation of oneself.

    I deeply thank you.
    Michaela

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  30. Jonathan July 21, 2010 at 6:51 am // Reply

    Arjuna, your blog is so very inspiring. I recently went through a divorce I never saw coming after 22 years of what I thought was blissful marriage. It was painful beyond description. But, in my coming apart (which I did big time), I realized that I had to face myself – not play the blame game. When I was finally able to pick myself up off the floor, it was only beauty that I wanted to see and be surrounded by. By opening my heart and subjugating my male brain (too much thinking, not enough love), the world started to take on a very different air. I disconnected from that and those who were dissonant to that desire – including some close friends and family. I have no regrets.

    There are many woman who are ready to have their hearts taken care of and who, in turn, would happily do the same for their partner. Finding the ‘right one’ is just a process, and a joyous one at that. The world is a beautiful place if you are open to the possibilities. Your blog radiates that message. Thank you.

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  31. Raven July 21, 2010 at 7:15 am // Reply

    May all men realize and awaken to this Divine Power–she is indeed rising.

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  32. liz kohlenberg July 21, 2010 at 7:42 am // Reply

    Arjuna —

    This beautifully written and heart-felt discussion led me to sit here for a long while this morning, reflecting on my experience in loving David for so long (most of my life — 45 years out of 63 years of life, including two recent years where we were separated and quite sure we would never be together again).

    I think each level you describe is reciprocal. First appreciation and awareness of this person, then flirting and getting to know them, then touch, sexual sharing, deeper sharing, deeper knowledge, clearer awareness of the “sacred otherness” of this person. And along with that deepening is every withdrawal, every surge of anger, every hurt experienced in this relationship. It isn’t, of course, all joy — every sorrow is also here.

    Then finally, if you are open to it, clear awareness that this partner contains within themselves the Divine Other — that Being who encompasses all of us — full of love and compassion. As we touch our partner — as we blend our supposedly “separate” and sacred Bodies — we touch the One who enfolds and contains this Universe, this Earth, every rock and feather, every sorrow, every joy, every grain of Divine salt and drop of sweetest honey.

    When I open myself to that Being, either in myself, my partner, the love between us, the flame of life in a friend, the beauty and sorrow of the world, or simply worship and meditation — I experience a blend of attributes. That blend includes both qualities I think of as “male” — urgency, passion for justice, practical help — and those I think of as “female” — compassion, understanding, acceptance, patience. (And those particular dichotomies are the differences between my mother and father in this lifetime).

    That also includes attributes I simply label as “sacred” — creativity, awareness of multiple levels, love, flexibility, wisdom.

    Back to this particilar man, who I love so much, and have loved for so long. I love him as a man, love his male body and self. But when I get to the Sacred — it seems to me to encompass all of his female attributes as well — and all those other attributes.

    So — do we all connect to the Divine Feminine in loving one another? Or simply — the Divine Other?

    And — a different level of question — how do you connect the Divine Other with the buddha mind? Same? Different? How?

    Much affection to you, Arjuna, and all the others who read this post and responded to it. And my deepest sympathies to all who feel this sort of love is not possible for them. Let me say, with you, dear friend, it is possible — but you have to open yourself to it.

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  33. Angelika July 21, 2010 at 8:04 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna, thank you for your wonderful posts lately. Of course I am reading this one with tears. I know this place that you describe, but alas it does not seem possible to manifest outwardly with a partner who wants to leave the “world/duality/male-female” behind. So for now I cultivate this in my heart of hearts, with the invisible beloved, beyond the seeming separation on the outside and share the love as fully as I can with everyone, all the time….. much love to you dear one…. and to Chameli,the Goddess

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  34. Elf July 21, 2010 at 8:30 am // Reply

    Thank you, Arjuna, for sharing your thoughts. i was moved to tears reading them.

    here are two devotions from Rumi and Teilhard de Chardin. they were both worshippers of the feminine.

    Water and Fire – Women and Men (Rumi)
    http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Frauen#toc20

    Hymn to the Eternal Female (Chardin)
    http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Frauen#toc21

    grace

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  35. michele July 21, 2010 at 9:20 am // Reply

    My body is still alight with the depth of your words. My heart is open and trusting, humming with appreciation. Thank you!

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  36. Alex July 21, 2010 at 9:30 am // Reply

    Thanks Arjuna!!

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  37. Tulear July 21, 2010 at 9:48 am // Reply

    Wow, this is beautifully written. Would Chameli be able to post her own thoughts about you? After my divorce, i have found these qualities within me. You cannot share what you do not have.But once you discover the inner beauty it is so easy to share it with your loved one.Most wemen, would give back their own feelings and more. Does anyone see the radiance of a happy person?
    Thank you for all your insight,
    Much love to you and Chameli

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  38. Linda MS Enos July 21, 2010 at 10:22 am // Reply

    Aloha Arjuna,

    I wept long awaited tears of joy. I wish to you to continue to share this with all men as I will share this with my husband and especially with my newly wedded son as well as everyone I know. The secret to lifetime of happiness on earth is in the true rapture of love with all it’s nuances, and not the pornography or motions or acts of making love. Thank You and your lovely guidng light Goddess of a wife to gently show you te way that you may show others.

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  39. Suzona July 21, 2010 at 10:30 am // Reply

    Arjuna….you ROCK!
    Hope your way of thinking-feeling-expressing-worshiping becomes a worldwide epidemic that brings about the awakening of the DUAL-DIVINE in all of us! May the Goddess and the God which reside in each of us EQUALLY awaken and be WORSHIPED! First….the awareness of the presence of the precious Divine Children within ourselves. Then the nurturing of them to adulthood. Then the recognition of the same in all others and of the fallacy of separation. A WRECKING BALL TO THE WALLS!

    **I met your gorgeous Chameli at Briarpatch just after she got back from Europe…..Wow!
    She gets younger and more luminous every time I see her! And what a neat switch….
    precious woman sleeping while honoring man reflects! YOU’RE AWESOME ARJUNA!

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  40. Bob July 21, 2010 at 10:37 am // Reply

    Thank you so much

    Beautiful

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  41. Rene Remington July 21, 2010 at 10:39 am // Reply

    I found this so inspiring to hear you speak this. It’ vibration is not out in the world so that others might open to deeper aspects of relationships too.

    It’s seeming to me that there a few people with the love movement who are true leaders. You two are among them.

    Love and blessings,

    #

  42. Andrea July 21, 2010 at 11:10 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna, thank you very much for your post! It made me cry. So beautiful what you wrote. – I am a woman who loves women and men. And I wonder what it means to worship a partner regardless of his or her gender…??? – Warmly, Andrea

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  43. Linda July 21, 2010 at 11:12 am // Reply

    My husband and I got married when I was 17, by the time we got married, we had only known each other for 9 months. He was only 5 years older then I was. It was love at first sight. I just knew that he was the man I would be with for the rest of my life. We had 30 years of ups and downs
    from the outside world, but we seem to cleave together through it all. He died 5 months after our 30th wedding aniversary, and after 3 1/2 years of his being gone, I still feel conected. The love you speak of transends all. It’s worth it.

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  44. Deb July 21, 2010 at 11:22 am // Reply

    Very beautifully stated, Arjuna. Everything you say about women can be substituted with men and have the same effect.

    I have found the Truth in that with my Leo husband. He’s totally dedicated to service to others and his wife and family, serving as the greatest mentor to others and myself. I am so happy he’s a Leo, as knowing Leo’s needs remind me that with just a little (and more is better) stroking, he puffs up his loving Lion chest, lights up, and looks around for another way to serve me or others. He’s just incredible. You should see how he glows when I praise his amazing qualities to others, within his hearing range. The more beautiful feedback I give him, whether he’s with me or not, the more beautiful he becomes.

    It’s very difficult to see the shadows when the light is so bright.

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  45. Morrighan July 21, 2010 at 12:04 pm // Reply

    Perfection.

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  46. Lenn July 21, 2010 at 1:17 pm // Reply

    Thank you so much for this Arjuna! After two plus thousand years of the patriarchy and the deification of the male through all of our major religions and denigration and devaluing of the female through the attempted eradication of the Divine Feminine, the balance is finally returning. The goddess is coming back more powerful than ever! I believe her return is literally the salvation of this planet.

    Maybe now the rest of the world will understand what we lesbians always have. Let’s return to an embracing of the Divine Feminine — it exists in all of us regardless of our sex or gender identity. We are so so blessed!

    p.s.
    there are many different gender identities in any given sex. I’m a masculine female who loves and worships women. I’d be happy to explain…

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  47. Tony Scott July 21, 2010 at 2:14 pm // Reply

    In my experience real worship starts with yourself … If you can accept all parts of yourself then you will be equipped with the knowledge of whether or not you are the type of person who can surrender and worship the feminine …

    But firstly to thine own self be true, and I am purposely using the uncapitalized ‘s.’

    … We have leashed into the world too many theories of ‘how it is’ !!!

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  48. Joseph Tany July 21, 2010 at 3:39 pm // Reply

    Dear Arjuna; this is obvious, and good for you ;))

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  49. rubywildflower July 21, 2010 at 4:09 pm // Reply

    This is SUCH a great post AND blog! It is the perfect antidote to my blog and I will be posting a link from my site.

    Kisses
    Ruby

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  50. Allan July 21, 2010 at 7:55 pm // Reply

    Thank you, Arjuna…beautifully seen, felt, experienced, and written. You are truly a master. I am teaching a short workshop in a couple of weeks called “The Impotent Hero ~ Healing the Wounded Masculine.” You have given me a wonderful idea for a closing ritual of worship. Whew.

    Where is a woman, ANY woman!!?? I love you, woman!

    IN gratitude,

    Allan Hardman

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    • Lindsay July 23, 2010 at 12:22 am // Reply

      Awww cute :)This blog and Allan’s post (too) warmed my heart :)

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  51. Kevin July 22, 2010 at 4:44 am // Reply

    Thank you! YES!

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  52. adoka July 22, 2010 at 5:45 am // Reply

    Arjuna,
    I like what you wrote,I read it with keen interest from beginning to the end of the blog.I am sincerely delighted.
    Can I say I have a problem ,why do I like every woman I see.I feel secured in transaction with women.There something unimaginable about women which most of them don’t even realize the goddess in themselves thereby subjugating their sacredness for meanness and transients.
    I have always had this in my mind that as a portal of extension of creation,powers of sustaining such is entrusted upon womanhood.Though divested the powers,it is incumbent upon men to let partner see sense and try uplift her.Theirs is absoluteness in the eternal flow.

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  53. Anu Sophia July 22, 2010 at 8:49 am // Reply

    Here is the “How to” guide all you lovely men are seeking. May you have many beautiful days on the Royal Road to Sacred Union with your Goddesses, they will birth you into your essential and Divine Masculine. In love Anu Sophia xxx

    http://www.amazon.com/Power-Shakti-Pathways-Ignite-Energy/dp/1594773165/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpi_1

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  54. mark July 22, 2010 at 9:43 am // Reply

    Absolutely beautiful Arjuna

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  55. HotLips July 22, 2010 at 9:53 am // Reply

    thank you, Arjuna.

    ever seen this film? here is am exquisite speech by Charles Laughton which I feel reflects what you say.

    http://www.tcm.com/video/videoPlayer/?cid=214953&titleId=87948

    love.

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  56. Sahina July 22, 2010 at 10:10 am // Reply

    Thank you so much Arjuna for this masterpiece! Thank you, Thank you! I sobbed deeply with every paragraph I read of your analogy . . . to feel, as a woman, so deeply understood and seen, through all of my layers, was a deeply moving and healing experience for me. I will share this with all of my wonderful male friends, and also my female friends. I’m ecstatic that you’ve articulated such precious understanding of how the divine can be accessed and known in our “human” relationships with the opposite sex (or with the same sex – the m/f principles are at work there also). I LOVE that you have shared this with us . . . we ‘humans’ are obviously ready to experience more of our divine nature in the place where it’s often most lacking – our intimate relationships – in fact, to discover it fully in that place.
    I would also like to ask whether Chameli might write a similar piece for women? I would be delighted to hear her feminine perspective. As a 51yr old single woman I’m baffled, and often sad and frustrated that I have still not found a romantic/spiritual partner,after so many years of ‘healing’ and ‘working on myself’ and looking for that. What are the keys, Chameli??
    Much love . . .

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  57. Lois Low July 22, 2010 at 10:22 am // Reply

    “The very eessence of every woman’s heart…is protected,for good reason,by a series of concentric walls. To move inwardly requires that you intensiy your capacity to devotion. She doesn’t even know how to open the gates herself etc.

    Now you’re talking. My husband and I have twenty years and every bit of our journey of self discovery and other discovery, was worth more than words could ever say.

    During the most intense opportunities, we made a conscious choice to surrender, let go and trust the inner wisdom. We had to for in the past, we got so tangled up it was exhausting and neither of us could see clearly anymore.

    I told him, I deserve to be cherished and will be. If it is you, great. That wasn’t meant to be a threat. It was meant to show I knew I deserved it and that equally important, he would enjoy it.

    He could give up defenses, fears, the need to be right and see if something new would open for both of us. He was misserable defending,judging me and reacting from fear. We used E.F.T. Emotional Freedom Technique to clear our meridians of negative emotions. What started out upsetting, as we tapped away what felt awful, in matters of minutes,new perspectives were exchanged for old and our behavious became humorous.

    We need to remember, it is true, men and women are wired differently. A quote from Time magazine March 7,2005 explains the gender gap. In a nut shell, men mostly respond from the analytical and amygdala. “Women seem to have stronger connections between the amygdala and regions of the brain that handle language and other higher -level functions. this explains why women are more likely to talk about their emotions and men tend to compartmentalize their worries and carry on.

    So…now what? We are what we are right? So let’s allow ourselves to respect the differences and even learn from them eagerly. Larry and I finally have and it works wonders and he has naturally then, found his way into many of my “concentric walls. He found his keys and I delight to let him in. We are in our early 60’s.

    Beautiful woman, on the outside, are everywhere. Until a male has eyes to see past that trap, he is blinded and won’t see inside. Not everyone is intended to be curvy and gorgeous outside. Many women, including myself, look past baldness, less than appealing features etc. to get to the heart of the man. Is it really so hard for men to lift their eyes from our breasts? No wonder women get fiesty with men. We have had to put up with mens magazines and gentlemens clubs and turned heads and eyes from us. What can you expect? Cherish the woman they have while being attracted to others, strangers or not, I don’t think that is possible. Priorities and choices, you have and we are watching and responding. Choices.
    To cherish a woman or be distracted by beauty of many,not the one.

    One last remark.My husband has become a happier more fulfilled man by cherishing me and moving through those walls. In turn, I’m discovering more about who and what I am in my own eyes and in his. This is fantastic even though I am no longer in my prime or as thin and attractive physically. Let me say the trade off is very well worth it.
    Sometimes it takes surrender but that can feel good too.
    respectfully

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  58. kevin July 22, 2010 at 1:10 pm // Reply

    the first time i felt i wanted to worship a woman was at a Tan Dun Concert “the water music of St. John” he had a rock star cello player from china, when she was in a solo, i just felt like i wanted to fall down and worship her. That feeling was good, but i wasn’t sure how it fits with my Christian theology. The next time it was a fairy or some aspect of the divine feminine when i was walking at night in the woods and open fields, she was so beautiful, gorgeous, but quite shy. i have yet to feel that with a real woman i know. maybe soon…

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  59. Geoxroma July 22, 2010 at 8:55 pm // Reply

    Rumi said….Like this…Like this….

    Emily Dickinson said…. Ample make this bed…make this bed with awe

    Neruda said, Sea oh Sea! first this way, then that

    Arjuna said, “you fall to the floor in full body prostration, tears soaking your cheeks and clothes, and you wonder how you could have ever taken Her, in all of Her forms, for granted even for a second.

    Milan Kundera, Kahlil GIbran, Dr Zhivago, Buddha, Baudelaire and yes.. Johhny Depp…all masters who have surrendered in adoration to their feminine grace (and vs a vs) have earned the honor of equanimity in love..one of greatest bittersweet mysteries of life. Thank you for reawakening and activating this memory in the hearts of many masculine and feminine energies as we tenderly acknowledge the gift of tru essence + human intimacy.

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  60. Elly July 23, 2010 at 12:23 am // Reply

    I am a Woman. I’m also a therapist that specialises in the Way of the Feminine with 99% female clients. Your article made me weep and weep, it touched my heart deeply. If only every man could read your article and try to understand Woman, the Feminine, it would make partnerships so much more fulfilling. There are lessons here for both men and women. I shall be sharing this with all my clients. Thank you so much for writing it.
    Goddess Blessings to you

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  61. Devi July 23, 2010 at 12:30 am // Reply

    Dear Arjuna,

    Thank you for writing this initiatory instruction for men, brilliantly and beautifully. What excellent and inspirational guidance for any man who wishes to be deeply and completely, utterly and totally received by a woman, respected by a woman, deeply loved by a real woman-goddess. I also enjoyed the gorgeous graphics of women in various states of rapture – and the T-shirt.

    Love,

    Devi

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  62. kathleen July 23, 2010 at 12:32 pm // Reply

    having just experienced Chameli’s divinity and earthiness at an awakening women’s temple night in santa fe, my heart cracked open with the realization that i really have no (conscious) idea of what the “feminine” is for me, beyond work work work and the “male” definitions. I have been moved by this post and the temple night to work with Chameli so that my heart can break fully open to my feminine and to the devotion of my beloved.

    blessings and gratitude

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  63. Constance Demby July 23, 2010 at 12:41 pm // Reply

    hi A, Constance D here… interesting how most of the responses are from women…. Being a woman, and being ready to explore relationship with a man, can you reverse the process for all us women, and write ou the process as though you were a woman wanting to adore the sacred masculine? just a thought…
    love
    CD

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    • Talma July 24, 2010 at 10:13 pm // Reply

      I was thinking the same thing myself! A reverse of the process would be nice!

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  64. Sam July 23, 2010 at 12:45 pm // Reply

    Truly beautiful and wise advice. I’m very inspired by your willingness to expose your feelings so fully, so deeply. Since it was my girlfriend who sent me the link, perhaps it would be wise for me to learn to be so exposed. Thank you.

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  65. debendevan July 23, 2010 at 1:42 pm // Reply

    Very interesting site and blog post!

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  66. Arjuna Ardagh July 24, 2010 at 12:51 pm // Reply

    Hello Wolfgang
    “Dude” here.
    Thank you for taking the time to analyse and comment on my blog post. I don’t know anything about you, or what else you do.
    Your analysis makes it clear what you object to and don’t like, and has some great points about the shortcomings of my view. Everything you say has some element of truth to it. I have weakness in all of the areas you poke at. Thanks for reminding me! Although life itself does that every day.
    Here is what interests me about you. I have got a good sense of what you eagerly take a stand against. You seem skilled at criticism, put-down and humiliation.
    What do you take a stand for? What are you enthusiastic about? What can you support and cheer for?
    Look forward to hearing about that too.
    With love to you as a brother…
    Arjuna Ardagh

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  67. hasmita July 25, 2010 at 12:13 am // Reply

    dearest.

    This note touched my heart so profoundly. I was crying reading it. My question, i hope u can ansver is: what can woman do, to attract such a man?

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  68. Maureen July 25, 2010 at 1:55 am // Reply

    Wonderful words of wisdom. The metaphor of the veils reappears again and again, punctuating my life…

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  69. Andy July 25, 2010 at 5:34 pm // Reply

    I’d first like to say that the link to this page was sent to me by a female friend who thought of me when she read it. I had one date with her, and while she and I did not continue in an intimate relationship, we became friends. That it was she that thought of me with your message has me feeling that at least my outward sacred respect that all women are the embodiment of the Goddess as I choose to worship Her, the Divine, has been noticed and appreciated, and not in a “picking up women” way. Loving ALL is where it starts, and for me that Divine Love extends beyond gender specifics. It’s not about sex, it’s about Making Love, whether touching ever happens or not.
    I believe that as spiritual beings in human form, we have both male and female aspects within. Finding a balance with these two energies, not a blending, but a balance with their separateness is what all humans must do in order to love oneself first, and only then extend that to a partner in a fully loving way.
    Having read the book “The Horned God; Feminism and Men as Wounding and Healing”, by John Rowan helped put my ideas on this into a much better focus, let alone confirming my self-nurtured spiritual lessons. Too many men are conditioned to be macho, aggressive “bread winners”, denying any feminine traits within, such as creativity, nurturing, gentleness – romantic love. Disney-ized versions of what romantic love is has been part of that conditioning, and too many women in turn are taught be “good girls” and “marry well” – denying their male aspects of self-determination and independence, the ability to be an equal partner in a male dominated society. Let alone what that society has done to vilify homosexuality.(I believe the patriarchal structures of the human ego have failed us as a species and is dying. The cycle of life, or everything. Thank Goddess.)
    So, back to my first sentences here – if I can be a man who will help foster the Divine Self within a woman, any man can. Goddess created us. We are the Gods within. And She desires our love and devotion more than anything.
    Find it within.

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    • DiosaNegra67 July 29, 2010 at 8:59 am // Reply

      Andy…you sound like a great guy…I’ve yet to meet any man who can articulate a shift in his own consciousness regarding the Divine Feminine…let alone a shift in his thinking about relationships as a whole. Namaste….

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      • Sharon Birke August 3, 2010 at 6:44 pm // Reply

        Thank you for your profound insights, Andy! I agree that BOTH men and women have similar work to do in honoring and worshipping the feminine within each one of us. Women need to learn to pay attention to their truth and wisdom, love their strengths and their darkness, so that from this place of self knowledge and understanding, they can speak with compassion to teach others exactly how they want to be loved and adored. Men need to honor the feminine in them, relax their fear of being considered less than a ‘real man’ when they honor their emotions and feelings, open their hearts to empathy and compassion, express vulnerability and ask for help.

        Thank you, Arjuna, for being a radiant light of inspiration and true love! Thank you for teaching us how to honor the Goddess within ALL!
        xoxox

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  70. Rose Marie July 25, 2010 at 7:21 pm // Reply

    this is what I would call a santioned marriage. It is what I hold in my heart that will happen between me and man one day. I am open to receive!!!

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  71. Karen Wilhelm Buckley July 25, 2010 at 11:14 pm // Reply

    Beautifully spoken into my woman’s heart. Thank you for being a divine hero, loving the source of beauty and joy – the place where we revel as women. And, we love to share this temple with our men.
    My beautiful husband Rick and I just celebrated 30 years of marriage – he helps me remember who I am at the core when I forget.
    I’m in the midst of leading a retreat for the next 3 days – my work is nurturing wise feminine leaders who love, honor, and celebrate feminine wisdom , taking action on that which matters most to them.
    Blessings.

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  72. Michelle July 26, 2010 at 11:28 am // Reply

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful words and experiences. I look forward to meeting my devotee and the one I can devote myself to….;)

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  73. Suzie July 27, 2010 at 4:49 am // Reply

    You are a STAR! Much love and appreciation to you for this piece of heart(((♥)))

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  74. diana July 28, 2010 at 9:34 am // Reply

    Thank you both so much!
    Strange thing- I always wanted that my deep lover is also my guru- not in the traditional hierachical sense but at the center of both hearts- where gold is melting. My head and maybe a lot of psychological theories said: Your husband SHOULD NEVER be your guru. But this may be a superficial view of relationship? (My child can be my guru too, deep inside, isn`t it?)
    When I saw the real gold melting in the fire to form our wedding rings I head to cry so hard and this transforming process inside of me still goes on. My husband formed my ring and I formed his ring. This was such a devotional deep act for me that changed my life forever.
    When both rings come out of the fire they look very dirty and without value. But when you start to wash them and to finish them finer and finer- I started to understand a little bit of the process of real devotional love. To wear this ring now on my finger, this is a big promise, a big gift of life!

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  75. lisa schrader July 28, 2010 at 11:12 am // Reply

    Beautiful Arjuna. Found myself crying tears of joy, of sadness, of recognition. Such a deep longing in the feminine heart to give her deeper gifts fully. And I feel such a longing in the masculine to receive them as well. This is the practice we are all called to right now: devotion, worship to the unity and wholeness within all of us. Many blessings and love to you.

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  76. DiosaNegra67 July 29, 2010 at 9:05 am // Reply

    Namaste…

    I “surfed” on over to this site via HP….All I can say is “Wow”. I truly believe in my heart that there is a major shift occurring with regard to relationships and how we ALL relate to each other… This is sorely needed by men and women, regardless of whom we choose to love. I’ve been called “loopy” by friends for choosing to see the Divine within myself, as well as others….even when they are unsure of the Divine within themselves…

    I’ll be “tuning in” to this blog from now on… :^)

    Many thanks for this post….now it’s time for me to “go back” and read others….

    Blessings….

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  77. Jodi July 29, 2010 at 2:58 pm // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna. This is so beautiful and truthful, I am floored like so many others here. And have wept a flood of tears. Just yesterday I took steps to let go of a man who demanded I open my heart completely and keep it open despite that fact that everytime I did this, he abandoned me in his fear and left me distraught. I tried to get him to understand that he had to take that journey with me and that he needed to earn my trust after so much hurt. He wants everything given to him without giving anything in return. So, for me, the timing of this is perfect. He’s a good man and I love him so much I can barely breathe and it’s killing me to let go but I know I have to. Hopefully some day I will find my own “Arjuna” and have the beautiful experience you describe so well here.

    Namaste.

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  78. David Raphael July 30, 2010 at 12:16 pm // Reply

    Greetings Arjuna,
    Thank you for your insights. The volume of replies on your blog illustrates the universal desire contained in what your saying. To those women out there looking for that special man, there are many men ready to worship at the alter of the Divine Feminine, don’t give up.
    David (long time devotee)

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  79. Lisa July 30, 2010 at 2:06 pm // Reply

    Wow! I am so touched by your devotion.. I honour you deeply.

    I have just had to let go of a man that touched the divine so beautifully but then got scared and run.. heart breaking…

    So many women yearning to be met so deeply and passionately…

    Namaste…

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  80. Hunter July 30, 2010 at 10:10 pm // Reply

    Arjuna, I appreciated the article. There were some great points, and lessons learned. However, there were elements that were not addressed, and I want to provide a male perspective on this.

    It doesn’t surprise me at all that many women loved this piece. They could relate and open themselves to it. Many American men have difficulty opening up to women. This is the result of the corrosive world of radical feminism. That mindset has taught women to hate, ridicule, and devalue the masculine. Here’s a question ladies: If you lived in a society where your vilified for just being male, can you really blame men for having apprehension? Ladies, you cannot advance the happiness, lives or cause of women by hating, bashing, or effeminizing men. This is something this piece doesn’t address, and I hope will be addressed in the future.

    Like most men, I would love to be in a great relationship with a great woman. (r)Evolutionary is correct, great women are indeed rare. HRH Devi nailed it: Such a women is 1 in 1000. It’s rare to find a woman who can love, appreciate, respect and open up to the masculine, in spite of her past hurts. Most women I meet don’t even think about this, much less live it. For Toni: women have inhibitions, insecurities, ego, and defenses too. That was flawlessly articulated in the piece.

    Then there’s this from Elly: “If only every man could read your article and try to understand Woman, the Feminine, it would make partnerships so much more fulfilling. There are lessons here for both men and women.” Ladies, the door swings both ways on this topic. Can every woman read this article and try to understand Man, the Masculine? Have you ever thought about it? Can you live it without fear or inhibition, and let go of all failed connections in the past? (I didn’t see that from most of the women who posted.) That also would would make partnerships so much more fulfilling. It’s not all about her.

    If you believe I’m very guarded with my heart, you’re absolutely right. In American society I have to be. If I meet a woman (and I’ve met many) and detect narcissistic patterns, a sense of entitlement, or bitterness and hatred of men, I let her go. I’ve seen men “worship” these kinds of women only to end up divorced, heartbroken, financially ruined, and their soul shattered to the point where they gave up on life and ceased to exist shortly thereafter. I choose to walk a different path. Men have to fill themselves up with love first before they can ever give love to a woman. That can be difficult for many, but if they do this they can experience love for the first time in their life and open themselves to attract the woman of their dreams.

    I encourage all to walk the path of love. It is the most divine path.

    Respectfully,

    Hunter

    #

    • Elf August 4, 2010 at 6:40 am // Reply

      dear Hunter,

      i am a woman from Germany, the translator of Chameli’s book “come closer”.
      i remember meeting an American speaker who was just enthralled meeting German women. he found them a great deal more authentic than the female counterparts in USA. there is less entitlement in Germany. and less celebrity hype.

      men are in a very difficult place in these days. Lucia R. explains it:

      “Abuse of power is one aspect of learning about power. […] Men are having a very difficult time giving up the ways of patriarchy. […] The way history works is that the oppressor never comes to the oppressed. […] Men are never going to come to women and say: ‘We’re sorry, we have conditioned you to be second class citizens for 5000 years.’ […]
      Women are at the front lines now. […] Women who have been oppressed must be willing to stand up in their power […] until the patriarchal world falls […] and then to begin rebuilding in the new. […] In the next three years, until women are willing to stand in their power, men will not […] be able to process and balance the masculine and feminine within themselves until they experience at a visceral level the power of women full blown in the world. […]
      Women’s job is to understand with enormous compassion that the male wounding is VERY, VERY DEEP. […] To be a man and to be asked to reclaim the energy of the heart is brutally difficult. It’s easier for women to buck their conditioning and stand in their power than it is for men to reclaim the energy of the heart.”

      Lucia René, author of “Unplugging the Patriarchy”, excerpted from Women on the Edge of Evolution
      Teleseminar, spring 2010
      MP3: http://www.box.net/shared/static/unkgqozxzl.mp3
      http://womenontheedgeofevolution.com/access/access.php

      those men who are graced to worship the Divine Feminine are servants to a whole culture. be prepared to open your heart — so that the Goddess may dwell in there. you are not the doer anyway. it will emerge in due time.
      blessings

      #

      • Hunter August 9, 2010 at 8:48 pm // Reply

        Dearest Elf,

        Thanks for your response and realizing that men are in a very difficult place. I find Lucia’s comments very interesting. For example:

        “Abuse of power is one aspect of learning about power. […] Men are having a very difficult time giving up the ways of patriarchy. […] The way history works is that the oppressor never comes to the oppressed. […] Men are never going to come to women and say: ‘We’re sorry, we have conditioned you to be second class citizens for 5000 years.”

        An all too familiar modern radical feminist line. This isn’t letting go of past hurts. So men today must pay for the sins of the past. Not all men are abusive and oppressive. Not all women felt they were abused or oppressed. If a woman was part of a couple that truly loved each other, she felt like a FIRST class citizen.

        Then there’s this: “In the next three years, until women are willing to stand in their power, men will not […] be able to process and balance the masculine and feminine within themselves until they experience at a visceral level the power of women full blown in the world. […]”

        This quote is about 50 years behind the times. Men have experienced at a visceral level the power of women full blown in the world for over 40 years now. Especially in schools, families, the military, and sports. In most cases, it hasn’t been for the better.

        Lastly, we have this: “Women’s job is to understand with enormous compassion that the male wounding is VERY, VERY DEEP. […] To be a man and to be asked to reclaim the energy of the heart is brutally difficult. It’s easier for women to buck their conditioning and stand in their power than it is for men to reclaim the energy of the heart.”

        I agree with Lucia on this. Men have been wounded deeply by the radical feminist assault. Men also need help to reclaim the energy of the heart. That help can only come from a nurturing, loving, compassionate woman. Unfortunately, most American women (85%-90%) are not capable of providing this due to their radical feminist conditioning. And that, my dear Elf is the conundrum.

        You called for me to “be prepared to open your heart — so that the Goddess may dwell in there. you are not the doer anyway. it will emerge in due time.”

        I do this in part through daily prayer and meditation. I want to be in a constant state of spiritual awareness. I also hope that Arjuna, or even better Chameli heeds the call from S to “write on how to worship a man.

        How to get through HIS walls.
        His worries.
        His hiding.
        Even unconditional love seems unable to penetrate his armour…his sadness and frustrations and fear…”

        This will provide the needed balance, clarity, and understanding between the sexes instead of the disconnect that persists now. This will help men and women walk the path of love, the most powerful and divine path. Divine love is the one and only true reality.

        Respectfully,

        Hunter.

        #

      • Elf August 14, 2010 at 1:19 am // Reply

        dear Hunter,

        just found your reply dd Aug 9.

        yesterday i came across Patch Adams. as a war orphan he was raised by his mother. he was beaten up every day in high school.
        as a result he was suicidal in his youth and was hospitalized 3 times in one year.
        he got the message in a mental asylum. change the world of what is to a loving world.
        so he became a scientist for joy, a doctor for the poor.

        these are some insights of the humorous compassionate visionary:

        “All healthy women say the same thing: All the problems of the world are due to men.
        No matter how badly the men behave the women raise the children.
        7000 years ago men chose to worship money and power over.
        This is why no political system works.
        Money and power is the God of the West and the God of the East.”

        “Women in all of history have done what we need.
        Our mother showed us the miracle of being nice, of being kind.
        We only need to act like our mother, our grandmother.
        We need a grandmother revolution.”

        Video interview with Patch Adams on the end of capitalism.
        Italian financial newspaper “Il Sole 24 Ore”, posted 26. November 2009
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhmmHio7hLY part 1 9:54 minutes duration
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX3tRFb0ACQ part 2 4:37 minutes duration

        the Dalai Lama came to the same conclusion. he referred to his mother (not to religion/buddhism) who had taught him compassion:

        “In the 21st century we need to promote human values, ethics, compassion and affection.
        Women are more sensitive to pain or suffering of others. […]
        Therefore, [women of the Western world] please take a more active role.”
        H.H. Dalai Lama, Peace Summit, Vancouver, Sunday 27. September 2009

        Hunter, praying and meditating every day is probably the best you can do now. blaming overly feminist women won’t help.

        grace, Elf

        #

    • Elf August 14, 2010 at 7:09 am // Reply

      one more, Hunter,

      Lucia René is not a rabid feminist, but a mystic and an initiated MONK. no, she was not initiated as a nun. because this world entrenched into patriarchy would not listen to her. and no, she did not even want to publish her book. she was urged to come afore with the material she had digged out within 10 years.

      Lucia René – July 2010 Unplugging the Patriarchy
      http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com/interviews/lrene.htm

      bb, Elf

      #

      • Hunter August 26, 2010 at 10:31 am // Reply

        Elf,

        Thank you for your comments. They provide yet more of the women are good, men are bad claptrap. Please understand: neither sex is better than the other. There are some advantages, there are some faults. A man and a woman can compliment each other IF THEY CHOOSE TO.

        You do realize that there are “overly feminist women” – misandrists in the world. That’s a good thing. Patch Adams is man who colluded in his own humiliation. I see a lot of self-loathing there.

        Capitalism , while not perfect, has proven far and away to be the best system that a man can provide for his family, that means women & children. Look at other economic models in Europe, Venezuela, Cuba,and North Korea and you see widespread misery.

        “Unplugging the Patriarchy”. To replace it with what, a Matriarchy that systematically discriminates, devalues, and hates the masculine? The radical feminist matriarchy is all around us Elf, – that’s like taking a portrait that tilted to the right and tilting it to the left. Doesn’t solve the problem either. Neither is blaming overly dominant men for all of womanhoods ills. Here’s a proverb for you: ” It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Proverbs Chapter 27, verse 19.

        Respectfully,

        Hunter

        #

      • Mushin August 30, 2010 at 3:00 pm // Reply

        Hi Hunter,

        I’m living in Europe, and although there is some, we are very, very far away from what you say, “Look at other economic models in Europe, Venezuela, Cuba,and North Korea and you see widespread misery.”

        It adequately illustrates the other points you make – they seem not overly informed by a reality that an ordinary and rational man can follow.
        It also illustrates the way, these ‘battles’ about feminism and whatever-else-ism are being fought… far away from reality.

        Regards,
        Mushin

        #

    • Elf August 26, 2010 at 1:07 pm // Reply

      dear Hunter,

      *Please understand: neither sex is better than the other.*
      fully agreed.
      however, there is a gender/sex that is more evolved spiritually. you can find that in statistics.
      among the cultural creatives (around 30% in USA and 35 in Europe) you have a ratio of 1/3 of men and 2/3rds of women.

      *You do realize that there are “overly feminist women” – misandrists in the world.*
      i actually do.
      and there are women and men among the traditionalists who confirm/acclaim the old model of male violence – as a result of programming. their tendency is to increase violence in the transition period.

      *Patch Adams is man who colluded in his own humiliation.*
      no way. you may study his life. these were his conclusions to come out of the mental asylum after several suicide attempts.

      *Capitalism , while not perfect, has proven …*
      capitalism HAS to shift. caring economy is the drift. Partnerism (capitalism 3.0) is an evolving theory.
      see: http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Wirtschaft#sWiki.Wirtschaft_12

      *To replace it [patriarchy] with what, a Matriarchy that systematically discriminates, devalues, and hates the masculine?*

      by no means. matrilineal societies were never an inverse patriarchy. matriarchy is an artificial word coined by Erich Neumann.

      *The radical feminist matriarchy … doesn’t solve the problem either.*

      agreed. women’s quest can only evolve together with men’s quest.
      and it will only work by raising the consciousness level. the evolved ones will go for that.

      *”It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Proverbs Chapter 27, verse 19*

      yes, a vengeful person may badly drain you.

      Socrates came to this conclusion: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher and that is a good thing for any man.”

      this is what good wives may facilitate – as long as they are not killed in the process.

      [Scene: past wedding day]
      *Husband says to wife: “I hope you’ll never change.”
      Wife says to husband: “I [we] need to change you.”
      Women improve men. They do, if you [men] don’t kill them first.
      This change agent [a woman] is good for men. They don’t like it. […]
      The good news is women can generally get a man to where they want them.
      They just need to remember it’s a long term project … 20, 30 years.*
      Mark Gungor, pastor, comedian, marriage counselor.

      he is one of the changed longterm husbands and a women whisperer, not a girly man.

      you may also learn from a wise elder David Loye, partnership researcher (USA). he found:
      “It’s been extremely important to me to interact with a woman [Riane Eisler] who is able to love me as I’m able to love her on some basis of equality. It takes up so many marriages, and so many affairs […] to work through the dominator-dominated patterning that’s built into us. […] Women are making this breakthrough and they’ve begun to see out beyond this cage that every male is still encased in, almost without exception.”

      at a meeting with nuns and monks the Dalai Lama did only greet the monks. he had failed to mention the nuns 20+ years ago. one of them confronted him on that. he did not apologize for his bias. he shrugged his shoulders and said: but what can i do? (i heard this story from a woman who had been an eye witness then.)
      meanwhile the Dalai Lama has learned his lessons well. he came to this conclusion:

      “The world will be saved by Western woman.” Dalai Lama, Peace Summit, Vancouver, September 2009

      and later: “[Women of the Western world] please take a more active [leadership] role.”

      take care, Elf

      #

      • Hunter August 28, 2010 at 9:58 pm // Reply

        My Dearest Elf,

        Thanks again for your comments. There are a number of things to respond to. First there’s this: “Fully agreed. however, there is a gender/sex that is more evolved spiritually. you can find that in statistics.” For you to make a statement like that you’re telling me that you didn’t really fully agree and you’re just a tad bit chauvinistic. Especially since I mentioned that both sexes have certain advantages.

        Then there’s the term “male violence”. I disagree with your premise. Violence isn’t an exclusively male phenomenon, after all, it was a woman who shot Andy Warhol. A radical feminist at that. She believed she did her gender proud, in reality she did it a great disservice.

        On Patch Adams: “these were his conclusions to come out of the mental asylum after several suicide attempts.” Conclusions from a man who had a number of mental breakdowns and didn’t value his own life? I’m really stating to wonder about you girlfriend.

        “capitalism HAS to shift. caring economy is the drift. Partnerism (capitalism 3.0) is an evolving theory.” Hopefully this can work in practice in spite of the Marxists and Socialists who will no doubt try to refute and crush it.

        Then there’s this: “matriarchy is an artificial word coined by Erich Neumann.” Matriarchy is a word whether you want to discredit it as “artificial” or not. It remains in continued use because it exposes the dark side of feminism so well.

        Another Quote: “this is what good wives may facilitate – as long as they are not killed in the process.” Same holds true for good husbands. Allow me to introduce Narcy Novack. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/icy_wife_plotted_hotel_slay_feds_XXdKX4cyIJoLde3EJpFbJJ

        Regarding scene you quoted from Mark Gungor, I can describe that in two words: Female Manipulation. A man (or woman) isn’t a rehab project like a house. If a woman feels like she has to change a man into her perfect image, she should just find another man. Don’t nag, henpeck, or exploit him to death, that will get her dumped or divorced more times than not. A man (or woman) improves when HE CHOOSES TO. A woman can inspire him to do that, but that’s as far as it goes. I didn’t see anything in that scene saying that women have to change. Are women these perfect beings that need no changes whatsoever? Hardly. Yes a man should love his wife, NOT put her on a pedestal.

        From David Loye: “Women are making this breakthrough and they’ve begun to see out beyond this cage that every male is still encased in, almost without exception.” This fits the women are angels, men are animals template that’s prevalent in western society today. Nice try Elf, but I won’t be able to learn from a eunuch who tears down his gender.

        Last, but not least, there’s the Dalai Lama: ““The world will be saved by Western woman.”

        Provided they don’t destroy the world first. An example of that is German Pop star Nadja Benaissa who infected men with AIDS and kept quiet about her infection.
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1306346/German-singer-Nadja-Benaissa-apologises-having-sex-telling-men-HIV.html

        “[Women of the Western world] please take a more active [leadership] role.” I’ll take that one step further. With leadership comes accountability. If you don’t take responsibility for your actions, then you can only expect rebellion to your authority. Most people in leadership positions understand this. If a woman is held accountable for her actions if she climbs behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated, she should also be held to the same level of accountability if she climbs in bed to have sex with a man. Yet all to often the man is held responsible for both sexes in the feminist era. Equality prevails if double standards are done away with. You can’t be in charge of everything and be accountable for nothing. That goes for everyone, including me and you.

        Respectfully,

        Arick.

        #

      • Hunter August 28, 2010 at 10:02 pm // Reply

        My Dearest Elf,

        Thanks again for your comments. There are a number of things to respond to. First there’s this: “Fully agreed. however, there is a gender/sex that is more evolved spiritually. you can find that in statistics.” For you to make a statement like that you’re telling me that you didn’t really fully agree and you’re just a tad bit chauvinistic. Especially since I mentioned that both sexes have certain advantages.

        Then there’s the term “male violence”. I disagree with your premise. Violence isn’t an exclusively male phenomenon, after all, it was a woman who shot Andy Warhol. A radical feminist at that. She believed she did her gender proud, in reality she did it a great disservice.

        On Patch Adams: “these were his conclusions to come out of the mental asylum after several suicide attempts.” Conclusions from a man who had a number of mental breakdowns and didn’t value his own life? I’m really stating to wonder about you girlfriend.

        “capitalism HAS to shift. caring economy is the drift. Partnerism (capitalism 3.0) is an evolving theory.” Hopefully this can work in practice in spite of the Marxists and Socialists who will no doubt try to refute and crush it.

        Then there’s this: “matriarchy is an artificial word coined by Erich Neumann.” Matriarchy is a word whether you want to discredit it as “artificial” or not. It remains in continued use because it exposes the dark side of feminism so well.

        Another Quote: “this is what good wives may facilitate – as long as they are not killed in the process.” Same holds true for good husbands. Allow me to introduce Narcy Novack. http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/icy_wife_plotted_hotel_slay_feds_XXdKX4cyIJoLde3EJpFbJJ

        Regarding scene you quoted from Mark Gungor, I can describe that in two words: Female Manipulation. A man (or woman) isn’t a rehab project like a house. If a woman feels like she has to change a man into her perfect image, she should just find another man. Don’t nag, henpeck, or exploit him to death, that will get her dumped or divorced more times than not. A man (or woman) improves when HE CHOOSES TO. A woman can inspire him to do that, but that’s as far as it goes. I didn’t see anything in that scene saying that women have to change. Are women these perfect beings that need no changes whatsoever? Hardly. Yes a man should love his wife, NOT put her on a pedestal.

        From David Loye: “Women are making this breakthrough and they’ve begun to see out beyond this cage that every male is still encased in, almost without exception.” This fits the women are angels, men are animals template that’s prevalent in western society today. Nice try Elf, but I won’t be able to learn from a eunuch who tears down his gender.

        Last, but not least, there’s the Dalai Lama: ““The world will be saved by Western woman.”

        Provided they don’t destroy the world first. An example of that is German Pop star Nadja Benaissa who infected men with AIDS and kept quiet about her infection.
        http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1306346/German-singer-Nadja-Benaissa-apologises-having-sex-telling-men-HIV.html

        “[Women of the Western world] please take a more active [leadership] role.” I’ll take that one step further. With leadership comes accountability. If you don’t take responsibility for your actions, then you can only expect rebellion to your authority. Most people in leadership positions understand this. If a woman is held accountable for her actions if she climbs behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated, she should also be held to the same level of accountability if she climbs in bed to have sex with a man. Yet all to often the man is held responsible for both sexes in the feminist era. Equality prevails if double standards are done away with. You can’t be in charge of everything and be accountable for nothing. That goes for everyone, including me and you.

        Respectfully,

        #

      • Elf August 31, 2010 at 12:54 pm // Reply

        dear Hunter,
        thanks for your reply. we could go on throwing links and quotes.
        i will stop here though.
        the energy that i perceive from your posts is: overall negative, sinister. you have been hurt. and life isn’t a rosegarden, nor is change easy. you seem to have lost hope and “enjoy” your negative stance.

        there are bad and manipulative women. there is no matriarchy as an inverse patriarchy.
        there is genuine change. and it happens as it does. i won’t repeat my words to get them twisted.

        wish you well on your journey with your inner wounded anima.

        blessings,
        Elf

        #

    • Elf August 31, 2010 at 3:46 pm // Reply

      hi Hunter again

      regarding “male violence”.
      it is ingrown into the male brain.

      The difference between men and women’s brains
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoCPDvQBG5Y

      “the hypothalamus – ONLY in men – is the agent of sexual arousal AND for violence.”
      see minute 1:11, comment of neurologist Dr. Gerhard Roth on the male brain.

      no wonder that 98% sexual assaults (crimes) are issued by men.

      the female brain is hard wired for compassion, more so than male brains.

      take care, Elf

      #

  81. Uncle Elmer July 31, 2010 at 10:03 am // Reply

    You people are a laff riot!

    Real men rogure women. Guys who worship women get ignored for more rakish blokes. And it’s within all males to be the cad women are truly looking for.

    That’s the temple I’m lounging in.

    #

  82. Al Rivera July 31, 2010 at 10:04 am // Reply

    There are only so many gates open thru hard work, respect, love , commitmment; the traditional factors passed down to me by grandparents, church teachings, and society at large. But gates don’t open further, and we never get to experience what you talk about. Perhaps, it is missing the worship factor. We learn to worship the deities of our religion(whatever that is), and putting women in the same pedestal seems too much. I am not living with a God but a human being with many imperfections after all. If I change some words in you article(Bible words), one would think you are talking about Jesus. Jesus and women at the same level?…sorry, I don’t get it.l.

    #

    • Anu Sophia August 3, 2010 at 7:14 pm // Reply

      Dear Al,

      the man is in control here, the gates to the feminine crucible open to the different qualities of love that comes from a mans heart, pure and simple. All a man has to really do is be vulnerable enough to allow these gates to open in love. BUT there has to be love for this to unfold.

      #

  83. Havelook July 31, 2010 at 11:36 am // Reply

    I appreciated your post. Socrates said “by all means marry. If she is a good wife you will be happy. If she is not, you will be a good philosopher.” I think you offer a recipe for pain to a man who devotes himself to the wrong feminine manifestation if he is unprepared to love with no promise of reciprocation. But I am idealistic enough to keep trying.

    I think you would find Deep River by Shusaku Endo a satisfying read. It’s a fictional account of a group of Japanese tourists going to the Ganges. He’s very Christian but one of the characters found much comfort in a female temple statue like you did.

    #

  84. TysonPursley August 2, 2010 at 9:22 am // Reply

    Profound… My wife is truly worthy of worship, yet I find my masculine ego raging at the thought. Why do we, as men, find it so hard to humble ourselves, even to our worthy wives? My wife has stuck by me through the worst, she has bore me a beautiful son and given me a life and love I never thought possible, and yet I still find myself painfully cold and distant. It’s as if a sickness festers in my heart. Maybe it is not hard for me to worship my truly fantastic feminine goddess, but it is hard for me to see myself as worthy of entering through those sacred doors. Maybe I’m afraid of what it will revile about myself.
    Namaste and Thank you

    #

    • Elf August 4, 2010 at 6:29 am // Reply

      dear Tyson,

      i disagree with Arjuna in that sense that he promotes worshiping a
      woman. it’s to worship the Goddess and the God within. when you truly do that:

      “Soon, however, he is astonished by the monster emerging within him when I approach. He realizes that he can only unite with me if he allows himself the inevitability of touch, as a servant of the universal work of Creation.”
      Hymn to the Eternal Female, Teilhard de Chardin, visionary theologian
      http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Frauen#sWiki.Frauen_22

      Teilhard worshipped not a woman but the Goddess in creation (himself) and found that inevitably the monster is being revealed.

      i had that happen with a man whose monster came out so visibly. he’s stuck in the moment. only prayers can reach him. he wants to “fly” with a woman and is not willing to do the necessary homework. when gates open it is grace, utter grace.

      #

  85. Altair de Almeida August 2, 2010 at 11:18 am // Reply

    Arjuna,
    What a beautiful tapestry you wove with your writing.
    Indeed it is time for our Brothers to connect more deeply with the Divine Feminine, both inside and out.
    As some of the women replied, it takes two to create this Divine Dance,Leela.

    ‘To Thineself Be True’ is a deep Truth for both Men and Women. That is the only way we will draw that Divine Reflection to our sides.

    My work in this field is through Biodanza.Helping each of us to connect with the Divine within,and without.

    May your writing and work spread quickly,to open Humanity to this Yin Yang Dance of Love.

    With love and blessings,
    Altair

    #

  86. Booster August 2, 2010 at 5:28 pm // Reply

    Beautiful wisdom. We men often make the mistake of confusing devotion with enslavement. We forget that giving a woman our hearts doesn’t mean giving away our balls as well. We always retain the power to honor our Truth. And when we honor our Truth, the Goddess smiles with love, tho she may have tears of sadness welling in her eyes.

    #

  87. David K. Meller August 3, 2010 at 12:23 pm // Reply

    “Worship” a woman??!

    You must be KIDDING! Most women are barely capable of functioning on a human level, much less a “goddess” level worthy of worship.

    Women, taken as a group, are–at least nowadays–vapid, selfish, narcissistic, self absorbed, monumentally stupid, and often just plain nusiances! They have abandoned all the qualities that may have once made them lovable as women, and in trying to be “one of the guys”, have acculturated themselves into being caricatures of men!

    Have you even observed women talking? Nothing but complaining, kvetching, and bitching about EVERYTHING! Their mothers, their girlfriends (especially the ones not present at the conversation), their husband or boyfriend–doesn’t matter if he is there or not–their cars, their clothing, their figure, their favorite TV or movie celebrity, etc. etc.

    Anyone with an IQ above his shoe size better find somewhere else to go!

    As for over-educated (nominally) intelligent women, hold on to your privates!

    Nothing there but endless complaints about men…Men are “insensitive”, men are “abusers”, men “discriminate” against them, men are “selfish”–talk about the pot and the kettle, huh–men are poor listeners…

    Sorry, but I have more important things to do, like solve chess problems, read Gor novels, or surf the ‘net!

    Women, if raised to please men, tend to children, and keep a nest, can indeed be enjoyable, and perhaps even indispensible. If they are socialized to enhance and cultivate their femininity and allure, they may indeed be both useful and delicious. But modern women, as they are today, and have been for the past several decades, are a curse and a burden, a plague on the male sex, and the human race!

    Worship them? I think not!

    PEACE AND FREEDOM!!
    David K. Meller

    #

    • Anu Sophia August 3, 2010 at 7:01 pm // Reply

      Dear David, I attempt to speak for all women here and I can understand your view and frustration. Yet you need to understand two things before I begin. Firstly all the women you speak of above in your comment are just projections of your lost, suppressed and subjugated feminine self. As a great master once said.. “We do not see the world as it is, we see it as we are.” If you are experieing the feminine this way you have some work to do.

      So with that in mind and as the fingers points out with three pointing back at you, time to look at the lost and disowned feminine part of you.

      Secondly, we women have forgotten our place and our power and I don’t mean power in a threatening way… Yes it’s true, Our place is not in the head and when you say that women are competing with each other in a masculine way, you are right… You are so right. We have forgotten our power and instead tried to find it in a masculine way and in the end just competed with ourselves to the point of destruction and a severely fractured society. God help out children through our ignorance.

      Now it’s time for something radical and new and that is… that a woman’s real power lies in the womb, to birth men away from their birth mothers so they can enter their essential masculine. It is what every man on this planet is looking for, yet cannot find anywhere because most women have forgotten..

      I feel very fortune to know how to do this and it is with love that I thank my dear brothers Arjuna Ardagh and Padma AOn for their guidance, for they have exceptional wives called Chameli and Anaiya respectively who have birthed their husbands into this new reality waiting to become commonplace among many willing to travel this amazing path.

      In deepest love and understanding to you.

      Anu Sophia

      #

      • David K. Meller October 18, 2010 at 11:50 am // Reply

        One thing I (and other men) DO NOT need to do is get “in touch with our feminine side”! Anu, our society is already utterly pathological with feminist he-women and shemales trying to psychologically and sexually impersonate the other sex!

        Divorce, endemic homosexuality,(and attendent paedophilia) widespread and out-of-control drug and alcohol abuse affecting both adults and children, spousal abuse, even murder, not to mention today’s appalling levels of violent crime, by both men and women; just some of the symptoms of a “degendered” postfeminist society which you (along with women like yourself and sundry renegade males) have so thoughtlessly and foolishly recommended.

        Man’s power is effected best in the PUBLIC sphere of activity, Woman’s power in the private sphere of activity( Home, children, and church).

        I have a better suggestion:

        Perhaps I, and other men, should work to reclaim the MASCULINITY common to men, and you (especially since you claimed to speak for “all women”, should begin to reclaim your sex’s traditional femininity!

        You should regain contact with your feminine side and the more womanly and nurturant parts of YOUR personality. Then, and only then, will you be fit and suitable helpmeets for the most important man in your life, you will be someone’s cherished “better half”, and you will even be able to raise children (instead of monsters) in a family unit, rather than farming them out (like modern women do) to ‘daycare centers’, ‘publik skoolz’, ‘correction facilites’ and other government-run and thoroughly dehumanizing human zoos…

        Feminism, and the ideas of ‘equality’ and gynolatry didn’t solely create the mess we all live in, but they acted to make a bad situation much worse!
        Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it-Santayana

        History repeats itself, once as tragedy, the second time as farce–Karl Marx

        PEACE AND FREEOM!!
        David K. Meller

        #

    • Uncle Elmer August 4, 2010 at 8:11 am // Reply

      Tell it bro. I found my wife in SE Asia and she is exactly that : raised to please a man and keep a nest. I never even considered a western female for a wife.

      Her attitude makes prefect sense in that caring for her husband, in her culture, is a matter of survival. This is not about economic opportunity as she was a successful businesswoman and did not need a husband.

      When she is in good spirits (29 days a month) she is a slice of heaven. When she is foul (1 day a month) it’s a living hell. All I can do is tell her to obey her husband, or worse, threaten to call her mother and tell her that her daughter is not being a good wife.

      She is a fantastic cook and spends a lot of time in the kitchen. She took a photo of me warshing the dishes to send to her family : “This is what American man do”.

      Her sisters said they were jealous when they saw me showing affection to her in front of her family. Western man/Asian woman = perfect match.

      And your comment about surfing the web; took me 5 minutes to find her on the internet.

      #

  88. Anu Sophia August 3, 2010 at 7:22 pm // Reply

    We womben have a power we are not even aware of using. It is the power to stand as women as our true sovereign self. It takes, guts, devotion, perseverance and it is not at all threatening to the masculine or indeed other women.

    We have forgotten how to be women in a patriarchal society and yet we are the ones we have been waiting for.

    I have sacrificed a relationship to teach this work, helping women and their wombs remember their power.

    I salute Arjuna for this age old truth, Yes men, worship your women and see what happens. Try something radical and new like this and watch as the gates of love unfold to birth you into your masculine, your essential divine masculine… All it takes is commitment and trust, very simple yet hard to do. I dare you!

    Love to all men of this world and an apology from all the women in the world who have forgotten themselves.

    In love, power and wisdom.

    Anu Sophia.

    #

  89. Allan August 4, 2010 at 11:54 am // Reply

    This is my second post to your article, Arjuna. As I read the comments, some touching, some confused, some from fear- my heart goes out to all of us struggling to find our way in this new world we live in.

    Love and romance aren’t what they used to be, and thank god! Let us awaken and rejoice– and listen carefully to voices like yours speaking to the deep truth in all of us.

    Here is a quote from one of my favorite movies, “Don Juan DeMarco:”

    “By seeing beyond what is visible to the eye. Now there are those, of course, who do not share my perceptions, it’s true. When I say that all my woman are dazzling beauties, they object. The nose of this one is too large; the-the hips of another, they are too wide; perhaps the breasts of a third, they are too small. But I see these women for how they truly are… glorious, radiant, spectacular, and perfect, because, I am not limited by my eyesight.

    “Women react to me the way that they do, Don Octavio, because they sense that I search out the beauty that dwells within until it overwhelms everything else. And then they cannot avoid their desire, to release that beauty and envelope me in it.”

    Your article and the comments have given me so much more inspiration for my workshop this Saturday (8/7) on “The Impotent Hero ~ Healing the Wounded Masculine.” I think a book will follow.

    IN gratitude and respect,

    Allan Hardman

    #

  90. Sagar August 4, 2010 at 4:26 pm // Reply

    Arjuna,
    I feel so deeply touched by this piece of writing!! The upmost love, gratitude and blessings to you and your sacred union with your wife! When you, or anyone, does this practice of sacred connections/unions, it is done for all man and woman kind. For me writings like this, what you have shared here, are a light on a cloudy day. When genuinely feeling to into the heart occurs, who would/could not, long for such a sacred mutual union. To worship the divine in all beings and live that on a daily basis (with ones chosen love)…. a lofty ideal?? Yes or no…it is one that I hope and aspire to attain or at least regularly touch on in this lifetime. From the highest in me, to the highest in you, I give thanks, for your sharing here!! Aum and Prem

    #

  91. Amy Lowell August 5, 2010 at 7:42 am // Reply

    I ask but one thing of you, only one,
    That always you will be my dream of you;
    That never shall I wake to find untrue
    All this I have believed and rested on,
    Forever vanished, like a vision gone
    Out into the night. Alas, how few
    There are who strike in us a chord we knew
    Existed, but so seldom heard its tone
    We tremble at the half-forgotten sound.
    The world is full of rude awakenings
    And heaven-born castles shattered to the ground,
    Yet still our human longing vainly clings
    To a belief in beauty through all wrongs.
    O stay your hand, and leave my heart its songs!

    #

  92. Craig Cerney August 5, 2010 at 8:02 pm // Reply

    Thanks for this beautiful reminder. Years ago I met a woman and as an “experiment”, decided to see her as a Goddess, and nourish only her divinity and essence, regardless of her external behavior. She responded by showing me a depth and love and beauty I could not have imagined.
    I have gotten sidetracked lately and needed to be reminded of this lesson. Thank you.

    #

  93. S August 6, 2010 at 10:28 pm // Reply

    Dear One,
    Thank you for such an inspired piece.
    Now would you please write on how to worship a man.
    How to get through HIS walls.
    His worries.
    His hiding.
    Even unconditional love seems unable to penetrate his armour…his sadness and frustrations and fear…

    #

  94. Jørgen Husbond August 8, 2010 at 3:09 am // Reply

    Hey Arjuna,

    Just read your blog about ‘Why it’s wise to worship a woman’ and was very inspired.

    That was just what i needed to read at this moment in time and is filled with gratitude for you sharing your gifts the way you do for people like me to be inspired by.
    I felt both as the man and the woman in your blog, actually…..

    It’s rare i read something that reminds me of what i’m looking to share with a woman and right before, I was in a mist, had lost sight of it, and your well expressed words reminded me.
    Thanks,

    Are you guys living full time in the states these days?

    Take care,

    Jorgen

    #

  95. Cinni_mini August 11, 2010 at 7:27 pm // Reply

    This message comes with a mixed emotion. When I read this piece I was so happy that a man wrote such beautiful, meaningful, and insightful words to help other men. I was so taken by it that I printed it up for my boyfriend of 9 years to read. Then the fateful day came when I handed it to him to read and digest. The outcome came 2 days later with a crushing and unsuspecting decision to end our relationship. He attributed his decision to what he read in the article. Needless to say I am upset, emotional and devastated being broadsided by this. I thought it would bring us into a deeper level of intimacy, commitment and love for each other. Why and how could this do the opposite? I welcome any response you can give.

    #

    • Arjuna Ardagh August 13, 2010 at 4:29 pm // Reply

      I am so sorry, Cinni. It is hard to understand why you man would react in this way. The thing is to love and worship him, as an act of devotion and the exercise of your own glorious love. And see what happens. Just stay with I love you, you are a beautiful man, thank you for your gifts. And see what happens!

      all love to you

      a

      #

    • Elf August 14, 2010 at 1:01 am // Reply

      Dear Cinni,
      i was on holiday with my colleague and read sections of Robin Norwood’s book “Women Who Love Too Much” (on relationship addicted women) to her. it had such an effect on her that she burst out in anger and called me all names. the relationship was broken after that. she could never recollect the pieces and explain her reaction.
      i met Norwood 7 years later at her book launching in Germany. she had to retreat from the world for that long to clear out the beast of addiction within herself. the husband #3 who she had promised to her readers as ‘the one’ turned out to be a more subtle and hideous abuser than her 2 husbands who were alcoholics and batterers. she was so ashamed to realize that she had been duped again that she wanted to die at a surgery instead of admitting to her world wide audience: i erred again, am still addicted. she was able to 7 years later with her book “Why Me, Why This, Why Now”.
      i once gave a section from Chameli’s book “Come Closer” to a friend. his feedback was ‘must think about it’. his answer was none. our friendship detoriated in the course of things.

      in Teilhard de Chardin’s “Hymn to the Eternal Female” http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Frauen#toc21
      you may find this revealing sentence:
      “Soon, however, he is astonished by the monster emerging within him when I approach.”
      Cinni, a simple article as “worship a woman” can pull out the monster, the shadow, resistance of the readers. you reaped some punishment even. so did i with my colleague. before you can rise to worhip of the divine (female/male), die in the earth like a kernel. it can mean 7 years of silence and transformation as in Norwood’s case.
      grace, Elf

      #

    • Mushin August 14, 2010 at 3:59 am // Reply

      Hi Cinni,

      a boyfriend of 9 years, or even 19 years might simply not understand. I don’t either, and I wouldn’t worship anyone, not even a god or goddess, but that’s beside the point.
      And giving any kind of material to your friends to read IS a statement that, like any strong statement, does have consequences.

      #

      • Elf August 14, 2010 at 4:16 am // Reply

        Hi Mushin,
        you wouldn’t worship anyone?

        Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God and serve him only.” Luke 4, 8

        what “sucks” in Arjuna’s article is switching God/Goddess with man/woman.

        grace, Elf

        #

      • Mushin August 14, 2010 at 4:49 am // Reply

        Hi Elf,

        I don’t think worship is the right kind of relationship – at least not one I appreciate much. If ever you’ve been worshiped I guess you know; eye-level relationship is very rewarding in contrast.

        Even if it’s a God. Just imagine if you wanted your children to worship you…

        But I don’t think Arjuna’s article ‘sucks’ in any way, even equating men and women with gods and goddesses is quite alright, I think. It’s just the type of relationship depicted that is not very appealing once you dropped the romantic game and move more naturally – at least in my case.

        Love,
        Mushin

        #

      • Elf August 14, 2010 at 5:04 am // Reply

        dear Mushin,

        >>imagine if you wanted your children to worship you…<>equating men and women with gods and goddesses is quite alright, I think.<>the type of relationship depicted that is not very appealing once you dropped the romantic game<<<
        my relationship to God (and the God in you) is devotion. God is so much bigger (infinite) than my finite being (and yours). we are on eyelevel with God/Holy Spirit on the level of SELF, not of self.

        grace, Elf

        #

    • Mark Lewis September 16, 2010 at 11:39 am // Reply

      Cinni,

      I want to offer a different interpretation of your boyfriend’s choice. I don’t know it if fits, but here goes…

      “Wow, she really wants this. I see how powerful it would be. I also know that I don’t have the passion and skill to provide this for her. In fact, I have known in my gut that it is not in my nature to give her what she wants and needs. I will never be able to succeed with her, and she will always find what I offer to be “not enough.” I cannot worship her in this way, and I will not pretend like I can any longer. I am clear now that this is not the right relationship for myself or Cinni. I will stand up, be the man, and end this as simply and cleanly as I can.”

      There is a reason that most men do not worship their partner like this. It is because they cannot handle the power of the feminine. They are neither trained to harness it, nor emotionally prepared for the psychic consequences of truly unleashing it. In unconscious recognition of their limitations, they keep the relationship at the level that is appropriate given their development and values.

      Just as a man’s worship of women allows her to blossom, a woman’s capacity to blossom with kindness and respect will cause a man to deepen his capacity to worship her.

      I encourage you to use this story of worship to refine your sensitivities, and find a man who has the capacity and desire to give you this. At the same time, pass gently over those men who are not clued into this game. Save both yourself and them the grief.

      #

      • Elf September 21, 2010 at 6:04 am // Reply

        dear Mark,
        it is remarkable what you are saying here.

        Ted Turner is one of the guys who failed to “worship a woman”.

        this is what Jane Fonda shared on her divorce from TT:

        “And then, you know, when I hit 60, I didn’t want to live laterally. I wanted to live vertically and go deep and slow down. I know it’s hard for you to understand this. Before we went on air, Larry said he doesn’t know how to relax, neither does Ted [Turner]. But I wanted – I wanted to go deep into life. And I wanted to really – he was a man that I wanted to show up for. I had been afraid of intimacy all my life. And I worked real hard on myself to get over that, and to get over the disease to please. And I wanted to bring my whole self to the table with this man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. And he couldn’t take it.”
        Jane Fonda, LARRY KING LIVE Interview with Jane Fonda, talk show host Larry King, CNN, 6. April 2005, 21:00 ET

        one more:
        “He can’t go back to the past and heal himself. […] He’s too afraid that it will all come in and drown him.”
        Jane Fonda, NY Daily News.com/gossip, 10. November 2008

        The Institute of Noetic Sciences, California (Dean Radin and Marilyn Schlitz) and universities of Washington and Edinburgh
        did three dozen double blind randomized studies on couples to find an involuntary connection between couples.

        When one partner focused on the other with loving intention his or her blood flow and perspiration level raised within 2 seconds.
        Chances for this to happen are 1 : 11.000.
        Source: Web radio report ”Can Positive Thoughts Help Heal Another Person?”, presented by NPR, Barbara Bradley Hagerty, minute 4:14+, 8:26 minutes duration, 21. May 2009

        an example of a vocationally aroused woman is inspiring Barbara Marx Hubbard (80).
        she along with brain researchers finds that esp. older men have a much harder time than women to adapt to the new calling.

        http://www.consciousmedianetwork.com/interviews/bmhubbard.htm
        ”Women Waking to Purpose”
        Audio interview with Barbara Marx Hubbard, presented by Conscious Media Network, host Regina Meredith, Prophet’s Conference ”Tipping Point 2012” in Vancouver, 23.-25. July 2010

        you might check out the six archetypes of love (Allan Hunter) as well.
        http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/Beziehungsebenen#toc32

        blessings, Elf

        #

  96. Mushin August 14, 2010 at 8:14 am // Reply

    Revisiting this blog again and reading the responses I cannot fail to notice that the most of the responses were female and basically saying how much they liked it, and expressive of, “I want this too!”

    Just for a moment wondering what a gay version would look like? Now, what does considering that thought for a moment or two do? Does it make the iconography stand out awkward? Hmmmm….

    It also strikes me that many responses show a Hollywood-like understanding of relationship, and the strong desire to deify love and turn love-making into a transcendent activity.

    Suffice it to say that within the New Spirituality of which you, Arjuna, are also a teacher, you have beautifully catered to the romantic mood turned transcendental which is all about recognizing the God/dess in yourself or the other, no, in both and each, of course.

    Yet, I would hold Life to be more mysterious than this Hollywood version of “devote yourself to the Goddess”. And it is my understanding that this is true of you as well. Because as I read between the lines I feel a deeply exploring person that has expressed his fascination with the Divine Other. And even though I would spin a different story around love, sex and relationship, yours really struck a cord and brought out all these responses, which gave me an opportunity to speak my piece. Thank you.

    #

    • Elf August 14, 2010 at 10:11 am // Reply

      Hi Mushin,

      >>I would hold Life to be more mysterious than this Hollywood version of “devote yourself to the Goddess”.<>And it is my understanding that this is true of you as well.<>though I would spin a different story around love, sex and relationship<<
      what is your different story, Mushin?
      what makes it true-r?

      best, Elf

      #

      • Mushin August 14, 2010 at 11:16 am // Reply

        Elf, I was pointing out the form, which I call ‘Hollywood-like’. There are French “nouvelle vague” versions around, as there are existentialist forms. There are “Bollywood” versions with song and dance and there are “AQAL” or “Integral” versions. You can regard this to be my version of the story.

        So my story is ambiguous, incomplete, partly unconscious, ordinarily unique, continuously changing, adaptive – I can’t quite put my finger on it.

        What makes my story true is also called ‘my life’. And as there are no better or worse truths, so there are no truer and untruer truths. Everything true is written in manifestation of one kind or another.
        You might call that last sentence the punch-line of my story. :)

        Love,
        Mushin

        #

    • Elf August 14, 2010 at 10:17 am // Reply

      Hi Mushin,

      this part has been cut off by the system. i give it a 2nd try:

      *I would hold Life to be more mysterious than this Hollywood version of “devote yourself to the Goddess”.*
      devotion to God/dess is that.
      pretended … whatever devotion is a sham. it won’t work.

      *And it is my understanding that this is true of you as well.*
      how does the Hollywood style (aka make believe) and authenticity of presenting go together, Mushin?

      grace, Elf

      #

      • Mushin August 14, 2010 at 11:44 am // Reply

        Hi Elf again; presence and presencing – or authenticity of presenting – goes with any style you prefer. Being present doesn’t take any side besides… the side of the present. When you live/think from within a style it is hard to recognize – but as you can come to be unconditionally present from any ‘space’ you happen to be in, so by being unconditionally present your style is not necessarily affected.
        You can be enlightened Tibetan style, you can be enlightened Western rascal style, you can be enlightened Christian monk style And you can be enlightened in the more Modern styles of which many have adapted ‘Hollywood’ to their emotional ‘logic’.

        Hollywood, way beyond ‘make believe’, is playing the emotional melodies main street favors and feeds them back to main street; Hollywood co-produces the myths with the masses and exemplifies them in those blockbusters that touch us. Avatar is a fantastic example of that. The interspecies’ love-story in the mystical setting of the classical American drama of settlers/exploiters and original inhabitants/caretakers. That strikes a deep chord – and that is how myth informs our style…

        So how authenticity and make-believe come together? In myth. And in many ways authenticity is another modern myth, a legitimate answer to the pre-fabricated, massproduced reality we also live in.

        Thank you,
        Mushin

        #

      • Elf August 14, 2010 at 12:26 pm // Reply

        thanks for your reply, Mushin.

        *there are “AQAL” or “Integral” versions. You can regard this to be my version of the story.*
        ah, Ken Wilber et al.

        *So my story is … adaptive – I can’t quite put my finger on it.*
        a work in process. that applies to most all of us.

        *What makes my story true is also called ‘my life’.*
        depending on your respective level of truth incorporated.

        *And as there are no better or worse truths, so there are no truer and untruer truths.*
        there is falsehood (sold as truth).
        there is learning linear truth.
        there is learning nonlinear truth.
        there is nondual truth.
        there are many levels of truth, as from an integral pov.

        there are truths in deficiency mode and in beingness mode and …
        http://de.spiritualwiki.org/Wiki/KenWilber#toc21

        *Being present doesn’t take any side.*
        agreed.

        *So how authenticity and make-believe come together? In myth.*

        “What’s Truer than Truth? – The Story.” Isabelle Allende

        “Is there anything truer than truth? Yes, Legend.” Nikos Kazantzakis

        *And in many ways authenticity is another modern myth*
        hmm. myth has a double meaning.
        authenticity can only be true or truer.

        grace, Elf

        #

  97. Matiu August 17, 2010 at 1:03 am // Reply

    This came for me, as for so many others at the perfect time and is already having a profoundly deep effect on my life, and the lives of both men and women around me..

    Thanks from NZ Maori Male

    #

  98. Dancing Divorcee August 18, 2010 at 8:54 am // Reply

    I loved the piece and avidly started reading the comments. Unfortunately they took my happy glow away so I stopped. The feminine is the most powerful force in the universe, if men shun what they have read it’s probably because they are a bit frightened by that fact. The worship thing isn’t a one way street either as you point out. We can all learn something from your words, women who need to worship themselves more, and men whether they want a romantic relationship with a woman or not – it’s where we all come from.

    #

    • Jonathan August 18, 2010 at 10:49 am // Reply

      Sadly, I think you’re a bit confused. It’s not about power between men and women. It’s not about women exerting their power and men seeing it. The feminine is a very introspective thing. Women waging emotional war over the masculine view and trying to subjugate it, only makes the matter worse. I think, if you’ll permit me, that if you sit back and appreciate the masculine versus trying to control or manipulate it, you’d be much happier. The whole world would be much happier.

      I know that I am!

      #

      • Caroline de Lisser May 25, 2014 at 2:06 am // Reply

        I’m confused by your statement, “it’s not about power between men and women” simply because there is no indication of this being represented in this article. The gist of this article, or at least what I got from it was a man stating the benefits of a deep appreciation and union with the feminine that actually brings the masculine into wholeness. External relationships with the opposite sex have the capacity to mirror our internal relationship between our masculine and feminine energies regardless of our gender. To have a deep, loving and expansive external relationship aids us in becoming internally whole and integrated, it is a sign of spiritual maturity. Incidentally there is also no indication of any control or manipulation of the masculine portrayed in this article. It just goes to show that we always see the world through our own stuff. It is rare to actually see something as it is untainted by our own past wounds and programming.

        #

        • adminarjuna October 17, 2014 at 10:32 am // Reply

          Thank you Caroline. I read your comment today, and I really appreciated what you write. Best to you. Arjuna

          #

    • Jim K September 18, 2010 at 10:28 pm // Reply

      I loved the article. It’s pretty specific about the “gates” to pass through, and the result is what most men desire. Men are pretty clear on dealing with the masculine and have some trouble dealing with a different paradigm. Adoration is not a button on the default American male. Serious research into experiencing pleasure can open the male to inquiring abouthe benefits of adoring a woman. Women could use some learning, too. It’s not all on us, guys.

      #

  99. Lisa August 27, 2010 at 12:06 am // Reply

    Beautiful and powerful!

    #

  100. Carson September 9, 2010 at 11:08 pm // Reply

    This piece has had a powerful effect in my life. It actually seemed to be only an element within a confluence of events/realizations. On the very day that I read it, I was listening to one of my lovers telling others about how to give a great sensuous massage. She was teaching. As I listened I had the thought, “She is actually telling us what works with her.” She spoke of how she would go deeply into appreciation with her subject, and suddenly I had an aha. She was saying that appreciation was the key to her heart. It seemed significant to me. Then, I took on that it was my job that she felt appreciated and acknowledged.

    This may seem codependent or somehow unfair, but I don’t care. The payoff was worth it, and man did it pay off. I am now convinced that deeply appreciating the feminine expression in front of you is actually the way to call forth the Divine Feminine. I had the most remarkable sexual event unfold and it seemed clear to me that Divine Feminine was saying, “Let’s just punctuate this for the boy so he remembers.”

    I began to play in my life, to see what I could bring forth. On another night, soon after that, I tried it again, with another woman. Son of a gun, it worked again. And what I mean by it worked is that I had direct experience of her unfolding into an extremely innocent and intimate state of being. The atmosphere was vibrant and alive. She became everything I have ever wanted in a woman. I mean, like there I was with the perfect woman. No more perfect than the woman I had first experienced this with, but no less. I imagine it sounds weird that I could say that about three different women in a week, but that is my honest report. By the way, I am polyamorous and all three women know this and knew about each other, so there was no cheating going on.

    My invitation to any guy reading this who is willing to give it a try, is to just open the floodgate of your appreciation. Be sincere (because she will probably sense it if you are not) and let her know what you appreciate about her. If you can go that far, let her know what you love about her. Don’t hold back. Then see what happens.

    #

  101. Gabriela Romaria November 4, 2010 at 3:35 pm // Reply

    WOW, I can not believe that a man can think in this way…. This is really touching and I wish that all the WOMEN iN THE WORLD COULD BE LOVED IN THIS MAGICAL AND DIVINE WAY YOU’VE DESCRIBED TO US!
    PEACE AND LIGHT. Gabriela Romaria

    #

  102. Lyall Scheib March 17, 2011 at 6:00 am // Reply

    Love this.
    Thank you for putting in words something I feel.

    #

  103. Mike June 1, 2011 at 10:12 am // Reply

    As I sit at work if you want to call it that reading this thread I have no profound truth to add just some observations I have made…

    Interesting That God chose the women to be a portal of body and soul for new beings, to give life and sustain it… quite a task.. and men carry the seed of life which must find the fallow soil of the ovary (womb)and he needs to be strong and determined to reach that field…
    and she need to be open..

    it say a lot about the nature of the Male and Female….

    men think and women feel
    men have the ability to just be as an independant entity

    while women need to be connected to something..
    Women are tender hearted
    Men are matter of fact….
    in our relationships with each other life continues

    I wonder if a plant looks at a bee and says you need to express your plant like nature
    get some roots and forget your predisposition with flying…

    #

  104. Daniel McComas June 13, 2011 at 3:08 am // Reply

    Well, for that matter, who shouldn’t be worshipped?

    #

  105. Daniel McComas June 13, 2011 at 3:14 am // Reply

    Oh, yes, I feel I must say; there is no greater mistake, any of us can make, than to believe that men and women, are different. Yes, I’m well aware, that our forms show us differently, and that our fears, seem to manifest differently. But, the simple truth is, men and women are exactly alike. We fear the same things, we doubt oiurselves, the same, we are so alike brothers. And, when you have opened yourself to real love, you will know perfectly, that we are truly, One, brothers.

    #

  106. Games September 23, 2011 at 5:08 am // Reply

    Thanks. I hope you continue releasing more useful articles.

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  107. Marie November 4, 2011 at 5:53 pm // Reply

    Where do we meet men who understand this concept? Or how do we teach regular guys about the importance of the divine feminine? I’ve been online dating quite seriously for 9 months, and while the attention is a lot of fun, I notice that very few men have the emotional ability to go beyond the “nice boobies” level of intimacy. It’s quite disappointing as I have so much love (and incredible passion & sensuality) to share with a man who is ready for a deep, loving connection.

    #

  108. teri January 7, 2012 at 12:44 am // Reply

    This is beautiful. Thank you.

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  109. Natasha April 10, 2012 at 12:50 pm // Reply

    Arjune, I felt deeply touched, seen and honoured as a woman when reading your post. I can feel the devotion in your writing and am so grateful that men are responding. Thank you, Natasha

    #

  110. Goldmarie December 24, 2012 at 10:50 pm // Reply

    ♥♥♥ thank you

    #

  111. sandhya January 3, 2013 at 2:44 am // Reply

    beautifull article….
    i dont understand why many men/women fail to see the women as human being first. they see the color,creed,religion, descrimination, social status and living condition of her. when women it self is the most beautiful creature on this planet… we pull your attention, we make you desairable, we are the reason for exsistance of love, our presence is in every where. you cant leave us and live with out us….

    #

  112. sandhya January 3, 2013 at 3:05 am // Reply

    Beautiful article….
    i don’t understand why many men/women fail to see the women as human being first. They see the color, creed, religion, discrimination, social status and living condition of her. we are often humiliated, harassed and abused. when women it self is the most beautiful creature on this planet…. why cant we get an place in your hearts rather than in your brains. We pull your attention, we make you desirable, we are the reason for existence of love, and our presence is in every where. You can’t leave us and live with out us….

    #

  113. Jeanette January 11, 2013 at 5:16 am // Reply

    Yes, to deeply worship ‘woman’ is to worship God/Love. To deeply worship ‘man’ is the worship God/Love. There is always a masculine/feminine principle in all Love relationships..whether they be gay or otherwise.
    Thank you for sharing.

    #

  114. Beppe January 11, 2013 at 3:52 pm // Reply

    Beautiful, and moving.

    As a man I can also say that discovering and worshipping the feminine is loving a part of ourselves, as we have that ingredient as well

    #

  115. Rambo Robson September 8, 2013 at 8:43 pm // Reply

    Anything to get a book deal, huh, Arjuna?

    #

  116. Johanna October 13, 2014 at 10:24 am // Reply

    Thank you Arjuna
    Tears are welling up when I read such beauty. I feel this must be potentially very liberating to those men who dare understand.

    #

  117. Elf July 27, 2010 at 3:35 pm // Reply

    dear Chameli and Arjuna,

    it’s not about worshipping women and “letting them fly”. it’s about worshipping the innermost female shrine in men and women. it’s to open up to the Goddess. and miracles may emerge.

    blessing to all men (and women) awakening to the enter through the gates.

    bb, Elf

    #

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  1. How to worship a woman – - July 27, 2010

    […] my husband Arjuna wrote about worship. Not worship of an abstract far away deity, no he wrote about why it is wise to worship women. He wrote mainly for men, but I think it is an important read for both men and […]

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