Archive | Relationship RSS feed for this section
two people talking

A friendship can be all kinds of things. People form friendships to avoid loneliness, to have fun, or out of convenience (like people who live next door to each other). However, there is also a special kind of friendship, which we can all develop: one that deliberately and consciously fosters brilliance. You are both setting […]

Meeting the Beloved

I love you. I need you. I want you. I cannot live without you. All of us at some point in our lives have said or thought words like these. At the time they seem very real, as though this new person is the magical missing ingredient to make us whole. In fact, how did […]


Love is a Practice

This is an excerpt from the new book I have co-authored with John Gray: “Conscious Men.”  It will be out soon. John says: I remember a moment seven years into my marriage. After making love with Bonnie, I said to her, “That was fantastic. It was as good as it was in the beginning.” “Oh, […]


How to Find and Keep a Conscious Man

During the last one hundred years we have seen a dramatic reinvention of the role of both men and women.  It is hard to believe, but in 1914 women still didn’t have the right to vote, because everybody (men and women) agreed that women didn’t have the intelligence to make political choices.  No-one today, at […]


What does "relationship" mean?

What does “relationship” mean? It implies the relating of two separate identities, two distinct points of view on the same situation. Separation is not your original nature, not the Self in its purity, that is in relationship with another. Within silence, peace, infinity, there can be no relationship, because there is no other. It is […]


Rotate the Boss

Every Saturday morning we clean the house. We start by sitting down together and listing all the jobs that need to be done. Then everyone gets to be the boss for half an hour. We always start with Shuba, our youngest. While he is boss, everyone must do what he says. He is the king. He will check if […]


What to do when someone is upset with you

Before we go any further you might ask the legitimate question,  “What are your qualifications, Arjuna Ardagh,  to write an article on this subject? Are you a psychologist?” “No, I am not.” “Are you a licensed psychotherapist?” No, also not.” “Do you have a Pd.D. in communications?” “Ummmmm.  No, I’m afraid not.” “So what on […]

Couples Puja

  This is a powerful practice to do with your intimate partner. Once you are awake in the morning, Sit opposite each other on the bed. Take turns doing this practice. Look into one of your partner’s eyes. One of you will go first: When it is your turn Express love, devotion and surrender to […]

Give Appreciation

Here is a practice from my book Leap Before You Look: Everyday, make sure you express five things that you appreciate about your partner. You can sprinkle these appreciations throughout the day. Or you can sit down and do them all at once as a structured practice, Which will only take a few minutes. Appreciate […]


Big Event

In honor of Valentine’s Day next week, here is a passage about sex from my book The Translucent Revolution. All sex, in fact all life everywhere, is about the meeting of masculine and feminine energy, the meeting of consciousness and light. This does not mean that men always represent the masculine, or that women always […]


Love Deeply

We’re coming up on Valentine’s Day, which is a time when all of us give a little extra nurturing to intimate relationship. If you’ve been married for 40 years, this might be a time to express your gratitude for all that’s been shared. If you’re newly together, this is the season to commit more deeply. […]

Share Witholds

Here is practice from my book Leap Before You Look. Sit together with your intimate partner Or a close friend. Decide who will be partner A, And who will be B. Partner A, You are going to share five withholds: Something significant And relevant to your relationship That has not been said. This could be […]


Here is a passage from my book The Translucent Revolution. Translucent parenting begins not so much with your connection to your child, but with your connection to yourself. When we feel fully connected to who we are, deeper than concepts, we are also connected to reality as it is, and this allows us to really […]

Spontaneous Forgiveness

Here’s a passage from my book The Translucent Revolution.   With the willingness to be less defined comes a loosening of our grip on the past. The past is of little use when you have no case to defend. If the trial is dismissed as boring and irrelevant, you can send the witnesses home to […]

Celebrate Dependency

Here’s a passage from my book Leap Before You Look. When you start to feel needy or insecure, Celebrate it completely. Ask your partner to sit in a chair or on the sofa, A nd sit at your partner’s feet for a few minutes. Enter into your fear of abandonment, The need to be loved […]